I’m not sure what Thursday 13 is all about. I don’t know if there is a central headquarters where prompts come from or if there’s a secret society of Th13 bloggers. But I’ve got 13, um, questions or somethings, and it’s still Thursday. So here I go.
1. If you have tiny ants that get into your cereal cabinet, sprinkle chili powder all around the inside perimeter of that cabinet, and they will vanish. Why? I don’t know. Maybe chili powder gives them acid reflux. All I know is it works. However, you may notice that your Cheerios have a subtle spicy “kick” after this application.
2. You can have Dwight Schrute from The Office “call” one of your friends (who loves the show as much as you) and leave a message. You just go to the official site and pick your message. I particularly like the one where he tells the person he has received their resume. My co-worker said as soon as he heard “Dunder Mifflin,” he thought, “I know that company . . . who is this?” and then he realized it was Dwight. OK, this is a little juvenile, but come on--it’s Dwight! (Don't you love the way he enunciates his name: "DwighT SchruTE.")
3. The other day I realized that whenever I eat my favorite Kashi Blueberry cereal, I always hunt for this cheap blue plastic bowl to pour it into. Why do I do this? Am I 18 months old? Does it taste better in my “special” blue bowl?
4. Why isn’t pharmacology the study of cows and crops?
5. Why do we rant and rave when gas prices go up $.10, but we don’t always stop to pick up ten cents or grab it from car floors like mad men?
6. How many years must I live in this country before I remember not to check for or send mail on national holidays?
7. You know how they say that “40 is the new 30,” etc? I just found out today at my son’s college visit that master’s degrees are the new bachelor’s degrees, and doctorates are the new masters—across the curriculum. Wonderful. Now we will have two in college for an even longer period than we thought.
8. Why does my dog follow me around the entire time I’m conscious, but dart to her food bowl and stand there faking eating (head down, eyes watching me sideways) when I walk by the laundry room where her dishes are? I know she’s not starving, and I don’t usually eat her food or drink her water, so can someone who understands dogs please explain this weird behavior to me?
9. Why do my mom and dad drive all over town to different stores redeeming coupons whose sum value is the same as the cost of gas that they use to drive all over town to save money?
10. Why is it that when I hear Sandi Patty’s name, I always think of Sponge Bob? Because of Sandy the Squirrel and Crabby Patties: Sandy Patties.
Sandi Patty/Crabby Patty
11. Why do I feel approximately the same amount of joy as I did on my wedding day when I find five bucks in a purse I haven’t used since last year? Why do I feel like Charlie Brown when my kids yank it away for lunch money?
12. Do you know the real reason God doesn’t want you to sleep with your special someone before marriage? Because you might find out how badly he/she snores, and then you would never get married. Ever. And I didn’t say that just because right now someone is snoring so loudly on the couch that he has drowned out the ESPN yakking heads and driven our teenaged son out of the room.
13. I figured out why archaeologists can’t find the Garden of Eden: They paved paradise, and put up a parking lot.