Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Celebrity Update III

THIS JUST IN --

La Toya is still in training. Just not a training bra, for sure.

Today's story: Traffic stoppers: Celebrities trained to stop motorists.

The Star Press reports:

A traffic stop can be one of the most dangerous things we do," Muncie Police Chief Joe Winkle explained later. "You never know for sure who you are stopping. You might be stopping someone who just escaped from prison."

OK. Wow, Chief Winkle. Do you catch these prison escapees a lot around here? Because I'd like to read about it in the newspaper or hear it on local access channels or something. Maybe I need a CB radio. Anyway, I'll be sure to check my locks tonight.

Officers Jeff Lacy and Rick Howell provided the instruction and could be seen teaching the cast how to hold a driver at gunpoint while seeking cover behind a squad car.

Oh boy. I'm having nightmares of school children running and screaming and Yorkshire Terriers attacking and otherwise peace-loving citizens of our fair city spewing profanities at our new cadets.

The [video taping] crew spoke on cell phones and radios in hushed conversations, including at one point the need for cappuccino.

Well, we do have a couple of Starbucks. But I'd recommend my church's coffee bar because we need the business, you Hollywood big spenders.

"This is terrific," Forman [guy in charge of the show] said after a successful Jackson pullover.

Why can I just see the wheels of mockery turning in this guy's head? Guess I'm paranoid. I'll tell you why in another post. It dates back to 1981, when a "reality show" was partly taped at my high school here in Muncie.

Now, here is my favorite part of these stories. The newspaper has started allowing reader comments at the bottom of the stories on line. Here is today's. I did not make this up, as Dave Barry would say. It is a real citizen's real comment:

Murders won't be solved without EVIDENCE. That is the key. You act as though we should throw the entire police department on unsolved murders - you can stick 500 people on a murder case, but if the evidence isn't there for them to break down, it won't get solved. Give it a rest. Quit whining, people. Is that all you ever do?

Huh?

3 comments:

Susanne said...

You guys must be the reality show capital of USA. Forgive me for being, um, dumb, but what is the point of the show? Are people not supposed to recognize the celebrities and think they are real cops? Or are they supposed to recognize them and get all hysterical and googly eyed and not take them seriously. Now wouldn't it be funny if they really did pull over a prison escapee. I can just see their faces! 8v0

But you know what's scary to me in one of the above paragraphs? They are actually equipping these people with guns? They had how long to train? Ok, Survivor I get, Amazing Race, I get but you gotta help me out here. I don't get the point of this show!! :v}

D.S. Lear said...

Evidence is the thing hoped for...and I think it's in...break down that "push up bra" and burn it in the streets....Set LaToya free...! Showing off didn't work for your sister...Maybe she should be taught the fine police art of "plain clothes undercover work". Here's a question for LaToya if asked to draw a composite of your brother Micheal's face would you be accurate or do you know what he will look like in the next few minutes? And do you still have your snake? It would make a nice "boa" cover for "the push-up".

Linda said...

Oh you guys, all of your questions are so logical! What is wrong with you?? This is La-La Land, and my homies are smitten with the stars! It doesn't have to make sense!