THIS JUST IN--
Yet another remarkable headline from the newspaper of America's Hometown, Muncie, Indiana: Celebs Lay Down the Law.
Five "B" or maybe "C" level Hollywood stars have fallen from the heavens, or maybe from an old neon sign, upon our town to participate in a "reality" show. These celebs will join Muncie's Finest, our police department, to round up ne'er-do-wells and just plain old sitting (gawking?) ducks for some wholesome Hollywood-meets-Hoosier fun. So, we could literally have some shooting stars on our hands. Oh boy. Maybe we should just go ahead and start changing all of our official signs from Muncie to Mayberry.
Which star-studded 5, you ask? None other than Erik Estrada (CHIPS TV cop), Jack Osbourne, Trish Stratus (WWF), LaToya Jackson and last and least in stature (4'7"), Wee Man Jason Acuna (Jackass movie). A stellar group, for sure.
What strikes me as funny (among many strikes) is that most of these people have some kind of anti-drug platform. As I looked over the list, I kept hearing that Sesame Street song in my head: "One of these things just doesn't belong here; One of these things just isn't the same ... Tell me which thing doesn't belong here before I finish my song ... " That would be Jack Osbourne, who finds it hard to "just say no" to drugs. Yes! We definitely want him associated with our police force!
How are Munsonians responding to the influx of mega-watt talent to our city?
According to the Star Press article:
"The only ones I really knew about was Wee Man and Jack Osbourne," Natalie Gibbons said. "But my mom was really excited about that other man (Estrada). She said he played a police officer a long time ago."
Translation/Implication: If you remember CHIPS, you are OLD.
Arlena Kirschling, however, was less than star struck and said she wished the celebrities would move along to another town.
Kirschling said a security guard threatened her and two other people with arrest as she stood across the street from Hotel Roberts hoping to catch a glimpse of the celebs who are reported to be staying there.
"This is a free country and I can walk up and down that damn street whenever I want," she said.
Eloquently stated, Granny Clampett--er--I mean, Ms. Kirschling.
We are well on our way to the echelon of fame where neither Garfied the Cat nor David Letterman could take us: reality show stardom. For sure, we are going to kick Fort Wayne's butt once and for all.
OK, I did a whole big, long meme and deleted it accidentally. It's 11:32 pm, so I'm hitting the hay, as we say, and I'll RE-DO IT ALL tomorrow. I am a dork.