Friday, December 08, 2006

How I Acquired My Snowman Dishes -Or- "Steal it, Grab it, That's Our Habit," (an old cheerleading chant from high school)

Well, it was my lucky night last night, as I was the one who drew the number 60 in the greedy-grabbing Christmas game. That means I went last, and so I sort of had the pick of everyone's gift.

Do you know what I did? I took a set of cute little snowman dishes away from one of my ministerial assistant colleagues. (Bad Linda.) I mean, she's a peer, not even one of those pastoral "management" types. (ha) I am an awful, awful person.

But as I unpacked my little treasure at home, I couldn't help thinking about the chubby little faces that would someday gaze up at me, lift cheery snowman cups in their chubby little hands and ask me, "Lovely, Youthful, Grandma Linda, where did you get 'deese' snowman dishes?"

And I'll say, "Why, Darlings, the answer to that question lies in a very special Christmas tale: Grandma pre-loved you so much that she made a mad dash across a slick wooden floor at a country club Christmas party, quite willing to make an idiot of herself just for you."

"All who had gathered at the party watched with round eyes of great wonderment as Grandma stealthily seized our dishes from her friend, who incidentally, had lost her mother-in-law the previous week and who herself turned 50 that very day!"

"Oh, Young Grandma," they will say, "you were so brave!"

"Yes," I will humbly agree, "But I didn't forget to graciously shout, 'Merry Christmas!' as the evening ended and I clutched our cheap heirloom snowman dishes to my chest, warning Grandpa that if Grandma fell on the ice, he was to at all costs, save the dishes. And that, Darlings, is the magical, precious story of how the Snowman Dishes came to be a part of our loving, Christian family." And with that, each grandchild will wipe away a single poignant tear from his/her chubby cheek.

**PS: My Internet service at home is down until Tuesday! OH NO! I can only check my blog and mail from work, so if I don't respond or visit your blog, that is why.


Susanne said...

Oh no! No service?!!!

Those dishes were worth it! If for nothing else just to write that story! I'm laughing still as I'm typing this.

And how did you discern that I was Hungarian, oh smart one? I don't think that I left any clues specifically to that.

Big Mama said...

This tale of your heroism and tenacity should be turned into one of those animated Christmas specials so that it can be shared for all time.

I seriously laughed the entire way through this and will be back to read it again later so I can laugh all over again.

katieb said...

Hi Linda.
My name is Katie and I found you through Big Mama a couple months ago. I dont have a desk job so I don't get to check blogs as often as I'd like and I haven't written on mine in about 5 weeks...but everytime I do get online I check your blog. I think you are HILARIOUS. So keep blogging!
Thanks for the laughs :)

Melanie said...

This is one of my favorites!! I am passing along the link to my mother-in-law. She would have fought you for those.
And, BTW, my husband and I watched A Mighty Wind last night. :>) Did you see Best In Show?

Anonymous said...

I cannot think but that we were separated at birth. Obviously, YOU go the set of parents with the best sense of humor. My children's children will just have to suffer through with old, gray, plain-as-oatmeal me.


And no snowman dishes.

Carol said...

You can turn a white elephant gift exchange into the aquisition of sentimental heirlooms?

I am in awe. (That's too funny, the slipping on the ice part. hah!)

Anonymous said...

There is nothing as strong as the love of a Grandmother!

lrlwreath said...

Here from Susanne's sight. This is funny@!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Very funny! I came from Susanne's blog. Glad I did.

Jennifer said...

I came over here from Susanne's. I can't imagine doing that with 60 people!! We just did one with 20 last week. As usual, people weren't too ruthless about stealing. Maybe I should teach them the chant.