I may post several times today. In fact, if I don't, it's probably because of a white-out. We're in a blizzard. Consider any posts S.O.S.'s from Caroline Ingalls snowed in the cabin with the kids from Malcolm in the Middle. Right now the 14 year-old girl is baking muffins. It's the more mature Playdoh. This is gonna be a long day.
Update: Thank you all for your survival suggestions. I pressed through the Walmart mayhem last night, five feet at a time. Each checkout lane was 10 carts deep, at least. I stopped counting and caught up on my magazine reading.
Walmart had tables with paper and crayons set up to distract kids while parents waited in line. I heard moms bribing their kids, "If you'll be good, I'll get you a ..." fill in the blank: "sucker," "toy," "pony," "tickets to Disney," "a guest spot on 'Hannah Montana.'"
They were sold out of our normal brand of milk, so I brought the caviar of milk. They were out of beef, except for suspicious pre-molded patties. I had planned to make chili, but they were out of tomato juice, so I put back the other ingredients. When I finally got to the register, there was a single can of abandoned tomato juice just sitting there smirking at me.
If I had to answer my own "5 essentials" questions from yesterday, I think it would be:
1. Pee pads for the dog. They're like diapers only flat on the floor. That's a whole 'nother post.
2. Toilet paper. But the only kind left had apparently been shipped from Ecuador, where the bark had been peeled from banana trees, dipped in bleach to produce a beautiful gray color, and then rolled by hand. If I get a hang nail, I will file it on the toilet paper.
3. Scrapbooking supplies. Scrapbooking will keep me sane while the natives dance around me. "Focus ... focus ...."
There was just a huge crash in the kitchen. (5 second mandatory wait period) No noise is good noise, so on we go.
4. Laundry detergent. Because life as I know it all around me may be at a halt, but laundry, or should I say Laundry, is an entity that thrives in any brutal climate, like hardy, multiplying cockroaches.
5. Ibuprofen. More essential than vitamins yet less drastic than Nyquil. But we do have Nyquil, just in case.
In this picture we see that the mom, in an attempt to hide from her children, cannot fool the baby hyena who will persist in bugging the mom, even if he must tear at her flesh. I fear this is what it'll be like at the end of the day today.