Saturday, February 03, 2007

Lower Than a Hyena's Mom


I am a bad mom. (*Note to prospective employer who might read this today in search of weaknesses relevant to prospective job: I'm better away from home.)

Right now, it is early morning, and my 14 year-old kid is sitting at the breakfast bar, eating her breakfast alone, instead of enjoying my witty repartee while she eats. I feel bad for talking to you right now instead of her. But if I talk to her, she will probably answer with her mouth full, and I don't want to see that, so I'm sticking with you.

I can see her from around the corner, and she is very intently picking at her cereal with a fork, working and digging, digging and working.

"What are you doing?" I yell from the family room, rolling my chair so that I can peek around the corner again.

She breaks concentration, and yells back, "I'm fixing this," which of course, tells me nothing, a key goal of teenager-to-parent communication.

I watch. I don't have my contacts in yet, and her cereal appears to be chunky. And brown. "What are you eating?" I yell.

"Meat!"

"What?"

"I dont know. This roast beef stuff, I guess."

It takes me a minute to process this information: my kid is literally tearing at a piece of 5-day-old meat like a baby hyena, but a sophisticated baby hyena who is imbibing bottled water to cleanse the palate between chunks and using a fork to tear the flesh. If this were a show on Discovery, everyone would be asking, "Where is this young one's mother hyena? It's so sad when nature is so cruel."

2 comments:

Susanne said...

Umm, young hyena's mom is on the phone talking to a bloggy friend? Just guessing. Not really sure.

Roxanne said...

I was chastised this morning by my 8 1/2 year old daugher by being on the computer too much. "Mommy, I don't want to hurt your feelings but. . ." is normally the beginning of a conversation to which you prepare not to overreact. "You are on the computer ALL of the time."

Hmmmmmmmm. . .after I give her my answer, my husband looks and me and says, "I didn't want to say anything, but I've been thinking it too."

So let's clarify when I'm NOT on the computer. . .

when I'm fixing breakfasts, lunches, and dinners, buying groceries, hauling kids to the doctor, going back to the get meds that weren't in stock or are too expensive or were left off the prescription notice, giving baths, brushing hair, putting away groceries, washing, folding, and putting away clothes, WORKING AT MY JOB, running errands, checking homework/backpacks/notices, going to the bathroom, OR sitting at the computer TRYING to do something while constantly being interrupted by the other three inhabitants of my home either needing my immediate and undivided attention, asking me questions, or asking me (for the 5th time in 10 minutes) when I will be OFF THE COMPUTER since THEY want to get on the computer.

Meat has protein, iron, and builds strong muscles. As far as I'm concerned it's a wonderfully healthy breakfast for a fourteen year old girl.