This news just in: Bonnie Raitt's voice has voluntarily leapt out of her body and into a black hole somewhere in the universe, considering this fate better than being linked to Sanjaya Malakar on last night's American Idol. Executives at a top national news network have received similar threats from various artists claiming they will follow suit if Mr. Malakar does any of the following: covers any of their songs, adapts any of their head-gear, so much as whispers their names in public, alludes to their era of music or does not avert his eyes when they are performing. Some of these desperate artists include: Prince, Florence Henderson, Devo, That Guy from Air Supply, Kathie Lee Gifford, Elvis, John Tesh's keyboard, Screech from Saved By the Bell, Bono (Sonny), Oprah's friend Gayle and every member of the Mediocre Wedding Singer Association. Only two artists have given the go-ahead for Sanjaya: Michael Jackson and David Hasselhoff.
Rock and Roll star Little Richard had this to say, "MMMMM! Child, Please!!! Wooo-woooo. Unh UH! Noway! I CREATED rock and roll! That Sanjaya [LORD help us!] is a IMMMM-poster!"
By the way, Little Richard is who I would LOVE to be the guest host on AI. That would be a riot.
Head-gear I'd like to see Sanjaya try:
Oops. Been there, done that.