Tuesday, April 24, 2007
A New Angle on American Idol
Thank goodness for TiVo, the most beloved and functional member of our family. My son's track meet lasted through most of AI, so I had to get caught up, but no prob, Bob, thanks to Tivo.
Without, "sniffle," Sanjaya, I didn't know what we would all comment on. Talent? Yeah, they've all got it now. Marketability? Yeah. Strong fan bases? Yup.
So I thought I'd focus on these signposts that frame the face, marking the emotional gamut from surprise (Melinda) to sultriness (Chris) to disapproval (Simon).
Chris came out of the gate with his usual expression: eyebrows lifted through the entire song, looking as if he's straining to keep his eyes open. I've never understood the term "bedroom eyes," but I think he might have them, or at least 3:00 a.m. eyes. Randy said Chris's jacket was "fly," but cargo pants?
Melinda sang next, and her brows, properly shaped and appropriately full, also have a dip down the side for extra "oomph." That girl has "oomph." I cannot hide the fact that Melinda is my favorite, although Jordin is merely one spiral curl of preference behind her. More on those two later.
Blake sang "Imagine," which I muted a few seconds into because I HATE that song and what it stands for: no heaven, no religion, just everyone living for the day, etc. It is, in my humble opinion, a song that was hell-inspired but wrapped in a beautiful melody. Blake has interesting facial expressions. He sings with his chin lifted almost all the time. My kids think his mouth looks too small for his face, and it distracts them. (Why are we [my family and the American public] so shallow?) His brows are a little too bushy for my taste. America loves this guy. I predict he'll be in the last three. "But for me, man, it was just OK."
Sidetrack: Why do people bring those sorry homemade signs to American Idol? I mean, if you are blessed to be in that audience, couldn't you invest in a stencil? A lamination?
LaKisha does not have healthy brows. They are skinny. What is up with that. She did do another great job singing tonight. She and Melinda get lovelier and lovelier.
Phil. has. eyebrows. His rival Peter Gallagher's. If this were an eyebrow contest, Phil would wipe the stage with his eyebrows. (Ew.) Anyway, as Simon says, "It's a singing competition!" so I have to say that while Phil did OK, he did not raise my eyebrows.
Jordin, who drew applause before her song even ended, has perfect brows for her age, full and not over-processed.
Sidetrack: Why do the House commercials get more macabre every week? Death warmed over?--it's worse than that. I would choose death before looking as miserable as these sick characters. I can't take this show. Why do I have to sit through the most horrifying parts of the next episode when I DON'T want to see dead people?
OK, I want Melinda to win the title because, although she and Jordin are unbelievably talented, Jordin is younger and more marketable than Melinda. Jordin is going to be a star no matter what. The title of American Idol will propel Melinda to a height she truly deserves, as well.
I have to tell you that Melinda is taking a beating from some of the public about how she looks. I feel terrible about this. I think she's cute, and I love her straight hair. I won't repeat here what mean people say, but it has to hurt.
Finally, Ryan's brows are perfectly man-groomed. He is the quintessential metrosexual. So what was with that facial hair? Not Ryanly at all. And when he took off his tie for Jordin, I told my husband there are women swooning all over America right now because of that chivalrous, sweet gesture. His response? "I just made fun of someone today at work for wearing a skinny tie." My husband is not a metrosexual.
So that's my take on AI this week. If you have a brow commentary, feel free to bring it on. It's what I'm here for.