Friday, April 13, 2007

What "Linda Needs ..." Meme

Roxanne picked up this great meme from Joshilyn called "[Insert Your Name] Needs." You Google the phrase "[Name] Needs" and then pick out your favorites to post. Here are mine:

Linda Needs:

-Mental help
. OK, but mainly when adding numbers over 10. Big deal.

-More interesting female friends. What? I defer to my blogroll, a regularly "motley crue" of interesting females.

-To drop by home and pick up her congo drum. Yeah, that way I could practice in my Camaro while waiting in line to pick up kid #3 from middle school. She'd probably think I was really cool if I stepped outside the car and beat it while she walked out to me.

-A little extra "oomph." Really? Well, I happen to have scored really high in the "oomph" factor at the annual Sweetheart's Dance at the Sunnyvale Home for the Aged two weeks ago. Some people appreciate curvaceousness in a woman, even if it is concentrated mainly on the backs of her arms.

-People to make telephone calls. Yeah, if I could just find a way to get people around work to make calls FOR the secretary, I'd be doin' alright.

-To change her oil more regularly. Wow, this one hit home. I won't tell you how long it's been. I actually have that on a to-do list.

-To be a good listener, good communicator and champion of her region. Hey! Am I not always proudly boasting of our superior cornstalks and Ball canning jars in Hoosier Heartland?

-Apply the patch to the middle tier. Hmm. Could that be a cellulite-eradicating patch applied to the middle tier of her mid-section?

-To be renovated, badly. Thanks. Where's my patch?!

*In response to that last purported need, I'd like to quote one variation on this theme about what Linda doesn't need:
"I don't think Linda needs to show off her body to be HOT, unlike some big-lipped actresses." SCORE!

-Needs to sing back-up. I totally agree. I will bring my congo drum and sing back up for ... who else ... Sanjaya. We sing in the same key, all the time.

13 comments:

Susanne said...

Well I hope you're happy. I just spit coffee all over my monitor after reading about applying the patch to the middle tier. We won't say where I would have to apply that patch.

You're amazing. Major earached and you're still funny. I want to be like you when I grow up.

amanda said...

How *do* you manage to bring it back to Sanjaya every time?!

Deena said...

Ok...this is going on MY blog...you find the funnest memes...hope you feel better, sweetie:-)

Deena said...

I meme'd mine at The Bookshelf...too much going on at Junk in the Trunk:-)

Enjoy!!

Barbara H. said...

Oh, my, these are funny. I'm going to try this later on today, hopefully.

I'm so sorry about your ear!And your canker sore! Hope both are better asap!

Nise' said...

That was too funny! My needs are here

Jen said...

sounds interesting if I do it Ill let you know

Jen said...

done it already couldnt pass it up and it was fun :)

Roxanne said...

I loved your list. . .too good. . .especially the bongo drum.

Rhonda said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. Very funny post, by the way.

I notice that your youth ministry is called OneEighty. We are the youth pastors, but also the childrens' pastors. We use the Willie George curriculum for childrens' minsitry and their youth ministry is called OneEighty - is that where your name came from?

We are loving Youth Ministry. I'm also a high school secretary and a most of our youth go to the school that I work at.

Bye for now,

Rhonda

Tammy said...

Great list of needs, Linda! LOL I love the patch...but I pictured a big ole caffeine patch on your tummy! :)

And that "Linda doesn't need" extra...that really made me giggle! I think I might have to do this one soon...:)

The Preacher's Wife said...

Linda needs to stop making me laugh until I hurt myself...Oh my gosh! No wonder those youth love you so!!

Have a good weekend!!

Lisa

Barbara H. said...

I just did this one this morning -- it was fun!