Thursday, May 03, 2007

My NLIP (Not Like I Planned) Moments

Lisa at The Preacher's Wife is writing a wonderful study that I'm just now jumping into. This subject is timely for me lately. I hope I can keep up with her promptings. I have so enjoyed getting to know her.

Please visit Lisa to read the scripture and her application/discussion. Here are my answers to her questions:

1. I am going to present to you a little acrostic to begin our discussion today. What is your latest NLIP? (Not Like I Planned?)

The latest is probably not being published in a couple of places I thought I had a chance to be.

2. How did you react to your NLIP? Are you still upset about it? Happy about it? Baffled by it? Explain.

I am down about it, not depressed, not angry, just confused and a little sad. I've noticed that not being published beyond my little newspaper column is bothering me more lately than it used to. I'm trying to honestly study my motivations for wanting to be published. There are several "tricky" reasons possible. I want to please God more than anything, and if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

3. Have you ever attempted to step into an area of ministry and found your desire rejected? Did this cause you to question God and yourself? Perhaps distrust what you perceived to be your calling?

Once I stepped up where there was a need temporarily. When we hired someone to do that ministry plus other ministry facets full-time, it was hard because there wasn't a smooth transition, and I felt a little jerked around. Now I'm glad it worked out like it did, but I felt offended at the time. It wasn't the right place for me permanently.

Regarding the NLIP above, publishing is more blurry to me. I thought
God gave me a certain amount of a gift for writing and a love for it since I was little, but maybe not. What I thought was a certain amount of talent, not great, but maybe above average, I have discovered to be quite common in the blogosphere. And my life has not been remarkable in a sense of having a lot to share with people. I'm confused about my passion, I guess.

4. Do you harbor any bitterness towards any individual or situation which you believe waylaid your best laid plans?

No, not really. When I read the last essay that was published in the place I wanted to be, I felt a twinge of anger in the moment. That's embarrassing to admit. But I certainly don't believe I was "waylaid" by a person or even the Enemy. I do know that editing is very subjective. And I do know that God orders all my steps. And I do know there are more important things going on in the world than my frustration about not being published. Um, for that matter, there are more important things going on in my dryer right now.

5. Have you had a life experience or trial that left you with a shaken faith because it ended in an NLIP? Please share if you feel free.

Well, there have been marital glitches and personal depression that I've dealt with over the years, but even during the depression, when God "felt" far away, I knew, I knew, He was there and that I was under his care. Just typing that fills me with thankful praise.

5. Based on Moses' response of faith to his own rejection, how will you re-evaluate your own experiences or look at future ones differently if a NLIP presents itself?

I guess I'll just keep taking this to God and asking if this is what he wants me to pursue or if I'm wasting valuable time that he would want me to spend elsewhere. He may want me to be persistent, or it may be a desire I need to die-out to. I just want to know what I'm supposed to do.

10 comments:

Melanie said...

I can relate to your #3 and #4. And believe me,your writing is above average. I have learned that part of the talent is in the telling. Your have talent in the telling. You really do. :>)

I think, for me, that being published would somehow validate my talent. I am trying to accept that He gifted me with whatever talent I have and that alone should validate it.

Connie Barris said...

Girl, Did you put yourself out there or what... I am just like that in my writing and it makes my husband's skin just crawl... He goes "WHY" do you do that...
I think God just does it..

THank you for your honesty because.. I know what you are saying and going through...

Let me say, I have been there, I am there... and will be there...

when I get praised in my writing, I want to run behind a bush... I failed english in College and my professor said, "Girl, give it up". We kid that English is my 2nd language..

My husband says, you can sure tell your writing is from God...

So, yes,,,,, It hurts....

God just took me through an interesting journey and I came out a different person.... I write different and with a different purpose...

I can't wait to see what God does in your life with this....

Thanks for sharing
Connie

Sharon @ Little Lessons said...

What message does our Loving Lord have for us today? My entry for today's blog goes right along with your struggle.

Let's all be encouraged that we would not be doing this if we didn't have some level of talent. Be encouraged that we KNOW God is using these writings to encourage people. We see that in the comments we receive.

Keep plowing forward. Keep your eyes on the Giver of all talent. Let Him open and close the doors as He sees fit.

Thanks! and {{{HUGS}}}
Sharon

Linda said...

You are guys are fantastic. Amongst your other gifts, you are all encouragers, as well. I think a lot of what we do is encourage through writing. It is a ministry, isn't it?

Sharon @ Little Lessons said...

It is ABSOLUTELY a ministry! Press on! :-)

Cyndee said...

Linda-

Just happened upon your blog through the preacher's wife. I am so glad you have joined the study and look forward to more of your writing. You express yourself wonderfully. Thanks for the honesty.

Cyndee

Susanne said...

You are an above average writer, my friend. When I grow up I want to write just like you! :v)

You were absolutely honest and vulnerable with this post Linda. It was very touching. The answer to the first #5 brought tears to my eyes. And your heart for God is inspiring.

Jen said...

Im sori that you havent been published in those places where you thought you might be

My cousins house mate wrote a book and learnt how hard it is to get published. She did end up getting published :) My thoughts and prayers are with you

I love reading your blog if thats any consolation

I pray that God shows you very clearly what He wants you to do very soon

Gretchen said...

Well, I'm no publisher, but I actually linked to you w/o your permission--sorry--because I love your writing style. You definitely speak to me. I understand that we have to wait on God and His perfect timing and plans for us; however, we must just as assuredly pray for protection against the enemy's all to easy to hear "you're not good enough" b.s.

Blessings, and let me know if you would like me to take you off my listing. My feelers won't be hurt.

The Preacher's Wife said...

Linda, I am so glad you have joined in this study! I found it while reading your blog today but you aren't on the Linky..do you mind if I add you??

That said, I relate so much with what your dreams of being published. I share those as well. It is also overwhelming to see sooo many talented writers in one place and on so many blogs see, "I dream of being published." It is hard not to begin comparing your own style with others and think, "I don't stand a chance!"

If there is one thing studying Moses has taught me, it is that God is Enough. Enough to ignite my desire, Enough to accomplish His desire. He will orchestrate my life to the exact detail and if that includes being published one day - I will praise Him. If it doesn't - I will praise Him. (Sounding like Facing the Giants now..:))

I know you know all this, I'm rambling because I feel your pain..:)

Blessings on you!!

Lisa