Saturday, May 19, 2007

Open House Quiz

You are an OCD stressed-out mom who wants to get the wrinkles out of 8 cheap plastic table cloths in your school colors. Do you:

A. Stand over the table cloth which is spread out on your bed, holding a blow dryer on a low setting for 37 hours straight?

B. Put them in the dryer on a low setting with a damp towel for a few minutes?

C. Place them on the ironing board, throw a thick towel over them and iron for 37 straight hours?

D. Hang them over the shower doors and steam up your whole house for 37 minutes?

E. Spread them out on a table for a few days?

ANSWER: FALSE. None of these work. If you are casual (cheap) enough to use plastic table cloths in school colors, do not try to remove wrinkles; there is no cure known to man for this. The Internet will offer several suggestions, probably submitted by pranksters who want to drive stressed-out moms nuts.

Here are the results of these attempts:
A. Blow dryer did nothing. Absolutely nothing, except start smelling "hot."
B. This took out the big wrinkles. But it also permanently put in a million tiny wrinkles, causing the plastic to look like crepe paper.
C. This relaxed the deep wrinkles but took the sheen off and discolored the plastic.
D. This will cause your wallpaper to peel, your alarms to go off and your nervous-Nellie dog to launch into outerspace.
E. This doesn't work, either, but you can eat chocolate, drink coffee and finish the kid's scrapbook while feeling like you're at least doing something to the table cloths.

I hope you passed this quiz and that the results are seared into your brain so that if in 18 years your toddler has a graduation open house, you will back away from the plastic table cloths--just back away ... look away, or hum, or use any distraction at all, just pretend you don't see the wrinkles. Or you could just rent beautiful linen ones. Naah. That money could go to their college tuition fund--or to Starbucks for a well-deserved break.


Carol said...

I'm taking notes: "Get Rx from MD for when they're in college."

Susanne said...

Note to self: Do not let your kids graduate in Hoosier country!

I'll graduation open house stress vicariously through you. Sounds good to me. :vD

It's almost over and then you can totally relax. Right?!

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sharon @ Little Lessons said...

Just remember...if your graduation open house guests came to see the table cloths, they came for the wrong reason! Enjoy the TIME with family and friends and don't sweat the little 'wrinkles' that may arise.


Connie Barris said...

The whole time I'm thinking.. throw it away....

nothing is worth it...

I'm going to come up with something about the Dr Phil question... I just have to think up something... LOL

Melanie said...

I failed miserably, but thanks for the lesson. Next time head to the Dollar Tree for some really cheap, but wrinkle free table cloths! :>)

HeartofWisdom said...

I remember something about washing the shower curtain with a cup vineger in the washing machine on gentle and drip dry???

Tammy said...

This quiz was so helpful...especially the advice at the end. I think saving my money for a Starbucks break after all that is completely worth it!