You are an OCD stressed-out mom who wants to get the wrinkles out of 8 cheap plastic table cloths in your school colors. Do you:
A. Stand over the table cloth which is spread out on your bed, holding a blow dryer on a low setting for 37 hours straight?
B. Put them in the dryer on a low setting with a damp towel for a few minutes?
C. Place them on the ironing board, throw a thick towel over them and iron for 37 straight hours?
D. Hang them over the shower doors and steam up your whole house for 37 minutes?
E. Spread them out on a table for a few days?
ANSWER: FALSE. None of these work. If you are casual (cheap) enough to use plastic table cloths in school colors, do not try to remove wrinkles; there is no cure known to man for this. The Internet will offer several suggestions, probably submitted by pranksters who want to drive stressed-out moms nuts.
Here are the results of these attempts:
A. Blow dryer did nothing. Absolutely nothing, except start smelling "hot."
B. This took out the big wrinkles. But it also permanently put in a million tiny wrinkles, causing the plastic to look like crepe paper.
C. This relaxed the deep wrinkles but took the sheen off and discolored the plastic.
D. This will cause your wallpaper to peel, your alarms to go off and your nervous-Nellie dog to launch into outerspace.
E. This doesn't work, either, but you can eat chocolate, drink coffee and finish the kid's scrapbook while feeling like you're at least doing something to the table cloths.
I hope you passed this quiz and that the results are seared into your brain so that if in 18 years your toddler has a graduation open house, you will back away from the plastic table cloths--just back away ... look away, or hum, or use any distraction at all, just pretend you don't see the wrinkles. Or you could just rent beautiful linen ones. Naah. That money could go to their college tuition fund--or to Starbucks for a well-deserved break.