Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Have You Ever Looked Into the Sole of a Killer?

They are cheap, but they are cute. The insides are deceitfully suede-like, tricking you into thinking they will be as soothing as ... cashmere. The heels are wedges, not spiky, giving the impression they would never cause you to turn your ankle. They lie. The only thing they don't lie about is their cheap brand name seared into their silkiness: NO BOUNDARIES. These natural born factory-made killers know no boundaries when it comes to what they will do to torture you. All because you want some cute summer shoes with jewels on them and a denim background. My feet are bruised (literally blue), blistered and cut from these things. I refuse to lose. I will wear these. I will toughen my feet to take the strap like cement would take a rake. I will triumph over these shoes like good over evil, like David over Goliath, like the US Olympic hockey team that beat the Russians in 1980 or whenever, with a war whoop like Howard Dean's when he proclaimed he would whip his tour states into shape: "Yowwwwwww!"

7 comments:

Susanne said...

Well, you are made of tougher stuff than me, girl. I love flip flops. I'm a flip flop wannabe. But I cannot handle them. And I'm not as determined as you. But then again I don't have bejeweled denim to spur me on. You go, girl. You show those things who's boss. ;vD

Melanie said...

Child birth and Cute shoes.

Proof that women are tough enough for combat.

Roxanne said...

Atleast give your tootsies a weekend pass to Seoul for some rest and relaxation.

cajunquilter said...

i so wish i couldn't relate to this post lol.

Sandy said...

You have such a way with words, writing about a painful pair of shoes.
Amazing, you are.
And yes, I've had a similar pair. Determined to build up calluses on my feet so I can wear them!
Sandy
For Reluctant Entertainers

Anonymous said...

Okay, go to back to walmart and buy "Band-Aid Blister Block stick" or here is the link to it on drugstore.com: http://www.drugstore.com/qxp163404_333181_sespider/band_aid/active_flex_blister_block_stick.htm

I've heard it works great. No I don't work for them!

Gretchen said...

Yes! You go girl! You've had children. These little sandals will not get the upper hand (er...foot)on you!!! You are WOMAN!