You people who live somewhere below Tennessee and left of Missouri have no idea how the rest of us look forward to summer. We're so starved for something to do besides inventing new ways to dry our socks that we just go nuts when warmer weather comes. Neighbors begin to act neighborly again, waving and smiling, recognizing and rejoicing together as a body of thawed Hoosiers that we can at last walk leisurely to the car, not sprint, and drop our butts down on the seats without worrying about losing a layer of skin and the backsides of our jeans to frozen vinyl. June is glorious.
So, yeah, I was definitely ready for this year's Summer Heat. Thoughts of licking an ice cream cone while watching stunt planes log roll and loop-de-loop and hot air balloons huff and puff in a clear blue sky bolstered me through the long winter. And then last night when Jorge and I were shopping, I saw the cutest hot pink Summer Heat Festival T-shirt on someone, and I said to him, "I WANT one of those," like the lady in Napoleon Dynamite who wants the model ship. I was READY.
Did I meantion I was READY for Summer Heat?
People, it is 91* in Muncie, Indiana, today.
Therefore, the first thing I noticed at Summer Heat was a crowd of large, lumpy, pale Hoosiers lugging themselves along trying their darndest to feign interest in booth after booth of papier mache jewelry and absentee mayoral candidates.
We took our two girls, one of which, the 14 year-old, also brought along her friend whom we'll just call "Attitude" for short.
Here is one daughter. Guess which one.
Soon we came to the T-shirt booth, where I quickly found out that my shirt was sold out.
Then we listened to an insurance sales pitch and got some free water in a plastic cup. Oh yeah, bring on the fun.
We walked to the information booth to ask why the stunt planes weren't yet dazzling us. An elderly lady with a kid perched on her lap and a cigarette perched precariously on her lip over the kid's head politely informed us, and I quote, that "It's over."
"What?" I asked in disbelief, as all my winter dreams took a careening nose-dive.
"Yep, they started noon and just finished."
"But the schedule says 12:30-1:30!"
"Yep, they started at noon and just finished. But you can go watch the model erplanes."
I stumbled away, trying decide if I wanted to see the model erplanes. I didn't.
So we looked around at rickety, expensive rides and passed on those. We looked at a couple more booths for Verizon and water purifiers, and when we had all the excitement we could take, we started back for the car. We were there THIRTY MINUTES.
No t-shirt, no planes, no shade, lots of Attitude.
It was on the way out that we finally ran into some quality, family-friendly entertainment, which I have posted here:
I think we now know what Shannen Doherty's career has come to. Anyway, so, am I bitter? Yes, a bit. You could say I felt a little like a deflated hot air balloon. However, some Ritter's frozen custard with peanut butter topping did help to save the day and restore some of my wintertime dreams about Summer Heat.