Saturday, July 07, 2007

The Explosion to End All Explosions

Well, what did you do all weekend?

That's nice.

I can say "that's nice" because almost no matter what you did, I know it was more pleasant than what I did.

Me? I spent much of the weekend holding one sad little Yorkshire Terrier on my lap. She did not get Rebo'd (see post below for definition) but she had something happen almost as bad ... in the indelicate words of one of my offspring ... "Zoe's butt exploded."

So how much do you know about carnivores? They all have a butt. And if the butt were a clock, they all have anal sacs at 4:00 and 8:00 around that little clock. The purpose of these is to nauseate their owners.

No, the purpose is to help them "mark" their territories every time they poo, male and female alike. Interesting side note: these glands are what skunks use to skunk you. They can fire them off at will. I'm just glad the average animal can't do that.

Sometimes these sacs do not empty, and they back up like a pimple.

Uh huh.

Thus, the explosion of the most nasty ...

The vet checked her out and explained it all to me. She is on an antibiotic for an open fissure, people, around her little clock. It looks terrible.

Also, I have to hold a warm wet cloth on it as a compress, which he said should soothe her.

I just brought her in from her first poo after the explosion. All I could think about as I watched her was how I felt after childbirth. I can now say that I have prayed for a dog.

My little dog is the sweetest, most submissive little thing you can imagine. If we just look at her a little too seriously, she rolls over like we've shot her, all four paws sticking up, as if to say, "I don't know what I did bad, but please, please forgive me."

So to see her afraid to take a step, afraid to sit, look at us as if to say, "Why aren't you helping me?" is just killing me.

Medical things that nauseat a lot of people don't get to me as badly. But this ... well, this is something else. I am grossed out and desperately sorry for her at the same time.

And now I must go administer a dropper of Amoxicillin into a tiny little mouth. Which, as all mothers know, will cause ... diarrhea.


Kelli said...

Ahhhhhhhh - poor Zoe .....

You're a good mama, doing what you need to do.

Shelly said...

lol!!!! This is so sad and pitiful!

Good luck girlfriend!

mandy said...

so my husband just came across the room to find out why i'm laughing uncontrollably....
now HE'S laughing uncontrollably.
bless you both!

Melanie said...

Bless her heart. We had a dog with those sac problems. Ended up just having them removed. It was a like hemorrhoid surgery for a doggy.

Hope she is all better soon.

Susanne said...

Poor little thing! Hope that amox. works quickly. Don't teens just have the most descriptive vocabulary when it comes to "delicate" situations such as these.

Anonymous said...

Pets are four-legged children. Zoe is blessed to have you as her momma.

Michelle said...

Oh no poor thing! I'm so glad she has you to help her threw it. Just breaks your heart when your dog feels so crummy. I hope she starts to feel better soon!

Julee Ann said...

Just stumbled across your blog while having my 2nd cup of coffee...needless to say, I think I'll switch to Pepto Bismo after this entry:) Sorry we had to meet under such dire circumstances. Looking forward to reading some calmer archives.
Nice to meet ya anyway.

Jen said...

poor Zoe
hope she gets better soon

Connie Barris said...

OK.. My husband is going "good grief what are you snorting over"...

all I could read to him was "Zoe's butt exploded"... he shakes his head..

then I say, it's really not funny...

'OK'.. I have heard about that...

As a nurse, we do it all.. but my down fall, Nurses do have them.. is / are "SMELLS"... so I asked when I interviewed with Hospice,,, what do you do about "Smells"... LOTS OF PEPPERMINT...they all giggled... hmmmm, I thought

my little piece of advice to you..Peppermint and hold it in your mouth while treating Zoe.

Sorry Zoe... love to you baby

Gretchen said...

Okay, okay...I know I wasn't very nice about the Stanley Steemer commercial. You have my sympathy. I thought cleaning up Annie's puke was bad (a few days ago). You, my friend, have the trump card. Poor Zoe. Okay...I'll pray. :)

Lynn said...

Linda, Linda, Linda.

If I had your phone number I would call you right now. I am laughing so hard, the window shook.

This is hilarious and yet I sooooo understand you and your poor pup. I have taken my dog to the vet four times in the last three months. Yikes, what we do for these little guys.

This is so funny, I have to send the link to my husband.

Love you so much. Have a blessed day!