Wednesday, August 29, 2007

So I'm washing brand new sheets to soften them and jotting down reminders and packing up my boy who officially goes to college tomorrow. Although I stand by my resolution to cling to Jesus and not my kids, this is a tough evening. It is the last night he will sleep in his room, the one that has been his since he was baby, on a regular basis. From now on, it's a patch of time here, a patch of time there ....

I posted these two pictures because they both seem to show him taking on the world. The first one is when he was a toddler on the beach, bravely wandering off independently, probably following in his dad's footsteps, completely unaware that we are hovering over him. The second looks like he's making a victory gesture at the ocean just a couple of weeks ago. In picture #1, he's just starting his little life. In #2, he's finishing his "little" life and starting his big life, one that pulls him away from us like the tide pulls the sand from under your feet. I feel off-balance tonight. His leaving is inevitable. It's natural, it's a bit scary for all of us, and it's bittersweet in this mother's heart. I love you, Jordan.

17 comments:

Jen said...

May God help you at this time
I LOVE your resolution
My mother didnt do that - she wasnt a Chrsitian to start with but she wouldnt cut them apron strings
it doesnt help
it made things worse

I know this is hard but you are doing the right thing
I pray that I may be like you when the time comes for me and my boys
HUGS

Roxanne said...

Bless your heart. . .and you're breaking mine. But you are right. It is inevitable. This is what you've worked and parented all those years for. Be proud, Mom.

Nise' said...

I hear your heart... I am right there with you!

oh amanda said...

Awesome pictures and beautiful post. (((hugs))) to you!

Southern Girl said...

{{{{Linda}}}} You're both going to make it!

Great photos, especially that first one.

Melanie said...

Wpw, Linda. It is so hard to let them use their wings once we have given them to them.

Big Mama said...

Beautiful, bittersweet post.

Susanne said...

Please pass the kleenex. Oh I hear ya. It seems from the time they take those toddling first steps they are taking steps away from us. Sigh. I can see how you as Mom feel off-balance tonight. A big hug to you!

The Preacher's Wife said...

absolutely the most touching thing i've seen in a long time..

praying for you, friend..

Lisa

Gretchen said...

Linda, this post, pictures and all is so beautiful. I'm sure we all have to stand by that resolution to cling to Jesus, and not to our kids, especially when they go off to college. Blessings to you all, and traveling mercies to him.

Merci said...

Sweet and bittersweet. I will be there in fewer years than I like to admit. I hope I can do it with as much class and grace as you. I'll be brave for his sake, and then I'll go in the house and bawl my eyes out as I cry out to God for the peace that passes understanding. Pass the kleenex.

Elizabeth said...

Oh what a beautiful post and what poignant pictures. Rarely am I brought to tears by blog posts, but this one did it.

Cindy Swanson said...

Oh Linda, I can so relate! I've sent my son off to college before. But now at 24, after living with us for the past year or so, he's heading off to Texas for his first major job. I'm going to miss him so much. I keep reminding myself that he's 24 years old, but that doesn't make him any less "my baby"!

samurai said...

I love the beach in the off-season... not much for swimming there...

I love those pictures though.

Connie@Little Red Hearts From God said...

Mom, you are where I was two years ago when my daughter left for school.. everything I touched was a reminder of her...and I cried like a baby...
actually the day I dropped her off, I drove back to watch my then 9 year old play football, he was by the bush with my husband throwing up, so I cried even harder.. my husband told me to go home...

every time someone talked to me for about two weeks after she left, I cried...

NOW... I ask her when she is leaving to go back to school.. LOL... she has established quite a personality being away.. but the funny thing.. is...she does not want me to cut that umbilical cord YET... she still clings to ol' mom...

so bless your heart...

Very mixed feelings you are probably experiencing at this moment.... I can just sense it...

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

Jen said...

I also have three children and my youngest looks like yours in picture number one. Seeing these side by side has reminded me to savor each moment, giggle and diaper change! I teared up a bit. Oh, it's hard being a mom and apparently it doesn't get easier. God bless your family and thanks for the reminder to the rest of just how fast time will fly.

Heth said...

Sniffle,

You are killing me. This is beautiful.