This just in--I am still a mom.
As you know, the last few days have been really, really difficult for me as both of my older kids are now on campus. My son did not respond to his new life as well as I'd hoped on the beginning, which made it 10 times harder for me. For instance, before we left him, obviously dejected, he asked us, "If Katie comes home for the weekends, is it OK if I come, too?" The reason he asked is that we all know it's better for kids to stay on campus a few weeks in order to get really acclimated to their new lives. This question was followed by silence broken by a big gulp over the knot in my throat. I wanted to say, "Yes!" But I deferred to his dad, who is stronger and said, "I think it would be a good idea for you to stay here and get to know everyone better," etc. Jordan just dropped his head and nodded. I wanted to sob. It felt as if we were saying coldly, "Don't come home."
Moms, you cannot know what this is like until you go through it.
He appears to be doing better, now, thank God with all my heart. I know he can do this, and I am so proud of him.
FYI: His first message from school informed us that his books cost $500.00. (Another gulp.)
So I've been losing sleep, crying a little, praying a lot, eating even more, missing my kids' voices and feeling a little displaced. This house is a lot emptier.
However, it has occurred to me that within the last 48 hours, the following incidents have occurred right under my nose:
My fourteen year-old daughter has
1. Caught a bad cold from her first week of high school, leaving her pitiful and way less sassy than normal. She is open to being comforted by her female parental unit.
2. Asked me to help her create a baking sensation called "Chocolate Chip Cookie Pizza." Result: Weight gain, but also some precious mother-daughter bonding.
3. Has willingly sat with her dad and me to watch "Murder, She Wrote" and "Perry Mason" reruns. More accurately, she instigated this event. Bizarre.
4. Allowed me to explain the themes of "Gone with the Wind," plus other GWTW details, such as how "Ashley," as in Ashley Wilkes, used to be a boy's name. Again, bizarre.
5. Actually climbed onto my lap and let me hug her for about five minutes in the La-Z-Boy. Miracle. That felt really, really good to this mom's heart.
So I'm still a mom, after all. I'm just a mom with less laundry now, right?!