So this morning, I woke up, sort of. I was in that groggy state between waking up and snoozing just a little while longer, trying to pray and get clear on what day of the week it was and what I had to do that day. I distinctly remember telling the Lord, "I'm sorry, Lord. I just can't wake up. I'll pray a little later." A little later, I was having my regular cup of coffee and reading the Sunday news, when my eyes fell on this announcement:
INDIANAPOLIS--Clinton Kelly, co-host of TLC's What Not to Wear, will be making a personal appearance at 1 p.m. Saturday at Macy's in Castleton Mall.
With his fashion savvy and wit, style expert Kelly will be hosting a style workshop and fashion show in the women's department, showcasing chic fall trends and wardrobe essentials for women sizes 14W and up.
Kelly has helped thousands of women--regardless of size or shape--achieve "style" as co-host of What Not to Wear. He is also author of Dress Your Best: The Complete Guide to Finding the Style That's Right for Your Body.
Kelly will meet and greet fans after the fashion show. Also, one lucky guest will win the shopping spree with Clinton serving as her personal stylist as she selects a $500.00 fall wardrobe from the women's department at Macy's Castleton Mall.
Seating is limited. To reserve a spot call ***.
OH.MY.GOSH. Clinton Kelly! In Indy! "Am I awake?" I thought.
So I ran into the bathroom and held the announcement over the top of the shower door to show my husband who was, well, showering.
"Look! Look!" I cried, waiting for him to read it and weep with me for joy.
"Wow," he said, "I know that this is BIG."
I had to stop jumping around and start breathing again in order to carry on this intelligent conversation:
"I can't believe it! I can't believe it! I'm going! Going, going, going!"
"Wow," he said, "This is big."
"Yes! If there were a Clinton Kelly lunchbox, I would carry it every day ... while wearing figure skimming trouser jeans, a top that accentuates my smallest part, my waist, a jacket that has structure but follows the lines of my waist and cute red pointy-toed pumps with a silver buckle on them!"
"Wow," he replied, "Big stuff, this is."
"Yes! And I'm going! Going, going, going!"
I ran out while he was in mid-sentence because, really, his part of the conversation didn't matter all that much. He was just a convenient contrivance for me to be able to say out loud, "I'm going to see Clinton Kelly!" I think my husband was muttering some inconsequential point about my not exactly being a 14W when I ran out. (Whatever.)
My two daughters and I have a TiVo season pass for What Not to Wear. We bond over this show. We find it hysterical when Stacey and Clinton tell people with holes in their clothes that they look like they have been attacked by "Mothra." We rejoice with those who find new confidence in themselves and return home ready to tackle their professional lives dressed without that signature "dash" of escort service in their wardrobe.
So I called to make my reservations. I had to record my name and home phone and how many reservations I wanted. If there is a problem, they will return my call, supposedly. They did not ask what size I am. They did not mention a ticket price. They did not say, "Sorry, no reservations are left." At this point, I have every reason to believe that I'll be there next Saturday.
I just want to see one half of the chicest, savviest Gurus of Style work his magic in person.
And just in case I get to get within 500 feet of Clinton Kelly, I have to start right now thinking about ... What NOT to wear!
BTW: I did manage to find time to pray. What--do you think I'm shallow or something?