Sunday, September 23, 2007

What I'm Not Going to Miss Next Saturday

So this morning, I woke up, sort of. I was in that groggy state between waking up and snoozing just a little while longer, trying to pray and get clear on what day of the week it was and what I had to do that day. I distinctly remember telling the Lord, "I'm sorry, Lord. I just can't wake up. I'll pray a little later." A little later, I was having my regular cup of coffee and reading the Sunday news, when my eyes fell on this announcement:

INDIANAPOLIS--Clinton Kelly, co-host of TLC's What Not to Wear, will be making a personal appearance at 1 p.m. Saturday at Macy's in Castleton Mall.

With his fashion savvy and wit, style expert Kelly will be hosting a style workshop and fashion show in the women's department, showcasing chic fall trends and wardrobe essentials for women sizes 14W and up.

Kelly has helped thousands of women--regardless of size or shape--achieve "style" as co-host of What Not to Wear. He is also author of Dress Your Best: The Complete Guide to Finding the Style That's Right for Your Body.

Kelly will meet and greet fans after the fashion show. Also, one lucky guest will win the shopping spree with Clinton serving as her personal stylist as she selects a $500.00 fall wardrobe from the women's department at Macy's Castleton Mall.

Seating is limited. To reserve a spot call ***.

OH.MY.GOSH. Clinton Kelly! In Indy! "Am I awake?" I thought.

So I ran into the bathroom and held the announcement over the top of the shower door to show my husband who was, well, showering.

"Look! Look!" I cried, waiting for him to read it and weep with me for joy.

"Wow," he said, "I know that this is BIG."

I had to stop jumping around and start breathing again in order to carry on this intelligent conversation:

"I can't believe it! I can't believe it! I'm going! Going, going, going!"

"Wow," he said, "This is big."

"Yes! If there were a Clinton Kelly lunchbox, I would carry it every day ... while wearing figure skimming trouser jeans, a top that accentuates my smallest part, my waist, a jacket that has structure but follows the lines of my waist and cute red pointy-toed pumps with a silver buckle on them!"

"Wow," he replied, "Big stuff, this is."

"Yes! And I'm going! Going, going, going!"

I ran out while he was in mid-sentence because, really, his part of the conversation didn't matter all that much. He was just a convenient contrivance for me to be able to say out loud, "I'm going to see Clinton Kelly!" I think my husband was muttering some inconsequential point about my not exactly being a 14W when I ran out. (Whatever.)

My two daughters and I have a TiVo season pass for What Not to Wear. We bond over this show. We find it hysterical when Stacey and Clinton tell people with holes in their clothes that they look like they have been attacked by "Mothra." We rejoice with those who find new confidence in themselves and return home ready to tackle their professional lives dressed without that signature "dash" of escort service in their wardrobe.

So I called to make my reservations. I had to record my name and home phone and how many reservations I wanted. If there is a problem, they will return my call, supposedly. They did not ask what size I am. They did not mention a ticket price. They did not say, "Sorry, no reservations are left." At this point, I have every reason to believe that I'll be there next Saturday.

I just want to see one half of the chicest, savviest Gurus of Style work his magic in person.

And just in case I get to get within 500 feet of Clinton Kelly, I have to start right now thinking about ... What NOT to wear!

BTW: I did manage to find time to pray. What--do you think I'm shallow or something?


Susanne said...

He is your Clay Aiken. LOL! You have me spitting coffee on my screen. Hope you get to go!

Kelli said...

SO, so jealous!

Our whole family will stop dead for What Not TO Wear :) We love us some Clinton and Stacey!

I have to admit, though, my ultimate fantasy? Having Nick do my hair. Out of total torture, I called his salon for pricing one day. Yeah. Add on airfare, hotels and cabfare? I'm thinking my pennies will be going to my transplant instead. Sigh.

A girl could always dream.

We expect, nay require, a FULL ACCOUNTING with PICTURES and everything by Sunday. Ya hear?

After you pray and all. I mean, priorities.

Melanie said...

Take your camera! We want the scoop. :>)

FlipFlop Mom said...


Guess who was a few towns over from me a couple weekends ago.. TY PENNINGTON... he was doing Extreme Makeover... GUESS WHO NEVER had the time to go... ME!! sighhh..

I hope your wish comes TRUE!!

mom huebert said...

We don't watch TV so I know nothing about Stacey and Clinton (although I hope I know what not to wear), however, I am really excited for you.

As a friend of ours would say, "Go, and be blessed."

samurai said...

I rejoice right alongside your beloved husband. :)

And I'm glad you had a chance to pray! :) LOL

Angie said...

Linda, I popped over here to see you....since you came to see me (I always visit my visitors!) and had such a fun time! I have sat my own self on the couch and watched and wished for someone wiser than I to pull my closet together....or through it all away....and I am still clinging to those sizes that I can't wear....well, actually, I finally parted with the size 6's...I know...I'm 45...I will NEVER see a six again! But, maybe when I am wrinkly and don't have much of an appetite for food...I might could see the 8's....but like, that is so way out there! (Okay, where in the WORLD did that "but like" come from?---I am from NW some kin folk in Indianna though!)
You are someone I WILL come back to visit again! I had fun!

lori said...

While the boys are watching football, the girls and I can often be found on the 'big' bed...watching Clinton and Stacey..Clinton and his comments! We laugh, we cry...Oh, if you should get to go...what will you wear??
I guess if you don't get to go there is always least in Indy the football is good!!;)

I am glad that I stopped by again...I laughed, and that is ALWAYS a good thing just before bed!!

Susan said...

I haven't seen this show in forever. I loved to watch it the few times I got to hold the TV remote, however. That's what happens when you live in a testosterone laden home.

I hope you have a wonderful time and that you get to take some pics.

What fun!!

:-) Susan

Ann said...

This is soooo exciting!! I thoroughly enjoy that show too! It would be an absolute dream come true to meet those two, let alone be on the show. Did you see the episode the other day (I watch it at noon eastern time) featuring a teenager? I was absolutely thrilled to see how they support dressing modestly. It was an excellent episode. I really really hope you make it to see Clinton! And I know you'll look just fabulous!!! :)

Anonymous said...

What do you mean--not extremely macho??

Linda said...

I've stopped replying to anonymous commenters, sorry.