Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Thursday Thirteen and Internet Cafe

Join me at the cafe today where I discuss my appointment for wisdom teeth extraction tomorrow morning!

And now, more fashion tips from the show (and hosts) that many people love to hate but who I love to love, "What Not To Wear."

13. Look at trousers/jeans as they hang on hangers. Does the silhouette narrow at any point? Where there is narrowing, there is widening somewhere else. Not good. Look for a straight line all the way down for the most flattering fit.

12. Pointy-toed shoes might be uncomfortable, but get over it. They lengthen your line, making you look taller and more sophisticated than a little girl rounded toe (but I own some rounded ones, too.)

11. Coral is pretty much considered a universally flattering color.

10. If you have narrow shoulders, avoid straps that start out a normal width and then narrow on top of the shoulder.

9. Pockets or no pockets on the back of jeans? Pockets, but be careful. Avoid much flappage unless you're tiny there. But don't go pocketless because that widens the canvas.

8. What about pockets on the front of jeans? If they sit right above your thigh, do not wear flaps there. It will widen that area.

7. If you are petite, and that designation has to do with height, not weight, avoid floor-length or very long skirts.

6. A wrap-around blouse style is flattering on pretty much everyone, even those with a bit of tummy (and call me "Mrs. Apple.") The wrap part accentuates the smallest part of a woman, the area right under the bust line. You can then allow the blouse to sort of float away from the tummy area. Everyone will be looking at your smaller waist.

5. Hosiery. It seems to have gone the way of hats with feathers and 1940's shoulder pads. But you can still wear them if you want, according to Clinton. Make sure they match your flesh tone (unless it's opaque and colored, of course) and do not have a toe seam showing. Don't wear them with sandals. You women who live south of Tennessee have no idea what it's like to go out bare-legged in December and January in a foot or two of snow. We northerners need hose. But usually we just wear pants. Even though they are out of vogue at the moment, I predict they will come back for these reasons: sheer hose can hide cellulite, firm your legs and add a tiny bit of color which makes things recede, or look smaller, in this case.

4. If you wear a square neckline, do not add a necklace. The neckline is a sort of decoration itself.

3. Jeans - choose wisely. Do not choose those with a gimmick, those that are trying too hard, those with embellishments that act as neon signs on your behinder and thighs.

2. If you wear striped trousers, the stripe should follow a straight line, and not curve to the side before sort of straightening out again. No drunken sailor pinstripes, in other words. If the stripe is meandering, your pants are too tight.

1. This isn't exactly a tip, but it is an actual snippet of conversation on one episode that represents why I do not blame Stacy and Clinton for their sarcasm:

Stacy and Clinton: "These pants are way too small for you."
What Not to Wear Participant: "No they're not! They're big on me. I can reach my whole hand all the way down and un-do my wedgie."


Hootin'Anni said...

I do love jeans....I do love wrap around blouses....and especially worn together. Now I have to go look for something in coral!! Great list.

My T T is posted

Coco said...

Hmmm... sound like excellent tips to me! Should try and remember them.

Happy TT :)

Carol said...

LOL! Okay. I'll be better dress for having stopped by today!

Linda said...

Hey Carol, I miss you! I can't see you letting Stacy and Clinton push you around, though! You are a girl who knows her own mind!Hope you are well.

Barbara H. said...

I agree about flaps on pants pockets and about striped pants -- I've seen many a weird, wavy line on pants that wasn't meant to be wavy.

But I hate coral. That whole color family, from peach to orange, is my least favorite. I have a pinkish skin tone, so I don't think those colors would work on me anyway, but I just don't like 'em. :-)

And I'll take my comfortable rounded toe shoes over uncomfortable toe-squishing pointed ones any day. :-)

Barbara H. @ Stray Thoughts

Heth said...

Keep the WNTW tips coming. I'm eating it up. LOVE that show.

Lynn / vigilant20 said...

I don't get the pointy shoes. I've seen them in stores but no one I have ever seen has actually worn them. Personally I think are unnatural looking, painful (and can cause medical problems), and hideous.

Susanne said...

That participant comment almost made me spray a mouth full of coffee. Too funny!

I'm with you on needing the hosiery and not just for warmth. Who on earth wants to see lily white legs in the dead of winter around here. Scary!

samurai said...

I still don't get the whole you-can't-wear-white-except-between-Memorial Day-andLabor Day deal!

ellen b. said...

We have so much fun watching this darn show! happy TT to you...
Unfortunately the only reason my jeans get too tight is I like to eat...

Vicki said...

Love your blog!

Susan said...

Once again I am awed at the wisdom that I find over here at your place! Thanks for the tips Linda!

Have a GREAT weekend!

:-) Susan

Lois E. Lane said...

Thanks for stopping by again! I'm honored :) I do fear, unfortunately, that the Prosperity Gospel still rears its ugly head throughout the country today. Though I would agree its high-profile apex was in the '80s. These days it's a less ostentatious version of the same message, and therefore more palatable to unsuspecting listeners. I have attended a church that evolved into this mentality, and it was a sad thing to watch. "Faith is Heaven's currency, without which a transaction cannot be made," I've heard the pastor say. First of all, what? And funny, I thought that somehow when we are faithless, He remains faithful.

It's the same old gunk -- "there's nothing new under the sun." We just finds ways of re-packaging it. Sadly there are many huge congregations spread throughout America in which pastoral families lead exorbitant lifestyles and make no apologies. "Being rich is not a sin." True. But that can quickly turn into a cop-out excuse for embracing materialism -- confusing it with blessing.

Wow. I've just written far too much. Sorry about that! I just grow tired of these "Dead Sea churches," in which blessings have an inlet but little (if any) outlet. I would like to --for once-- go to a church's Web site that subliminally preaches the gospel of prosperity and quickly find a link to their missional/charitable outreaches. Not always easy to do.

OK, I'm really done now. Have a great day and thanks for the fashion tips!

Merrie said...

Great advice again... Thanks... I love the reason the pants aren't too tight! What a hoot!

Cocoa said...

I love this show. Too bad I don't live near any stores to actually try things on. I have to shop through the internet instead.

Thanks for stopping by my TT!

Ann said...

Yay! I LOVE the show. And Stacy and Clinton have mellowed out a lot. I don't see sarcasm near as much as when I first watched it. And don't you love it when they run old episodes? It's fun to see what Stacy and Clinton were wearing back then haha!!

Mitchypoo said...

I love Stacy and Clinton. This was great advice! Happy TT!

marina said...

Linda I love that show but I can't remember everthing there are too many things to remember when buying jeans, I'll just take you with me so I can remember them the next time I buy jeans, or print out your message while I am looking for a knew pair of jeans,
blessing marina
PS. and what ever happen to Katie Douglas?? does she know what jeans to wear??

Amy The Black said...

Great list. I've never seen the show, but I knew someone who was a participant once. But your tips are great! It's hard keeping up with fashion, but those tips are timeless. I agree with you on the hose, too. Now I need to keep up with mens fashion too, since I'm always having to dress my husband.

Madame Rubies said...

I *heart* what not to wear... I did a blog on why a while back over at