It's "Blog Lite" today because I've got to put the final touches on my presentation for Friday night. And bathe the dog. And dye my roots. Friday night is big for me, people, really big. I've even considered getting the old acrylic nails put back on.
So let's get right to it:
First off: I just heard a radio ad for PetSmart that advised, "Surprise your pet with the perfect holiday gift."
Hello? Aren't they always surpised, since technically, they can't formulate wish lists or write to Santa or think ahead past the kibble you're holding over their heads?
Anyway, it doesn't take much to surprise my dog. If I go out of a room she's in and then turn right around and come back, she's like, "Heyyy, what are YOU doing HERE?! Wooo!" And that tail is wagging like we've been apart for oh-so-long.
And, "the perfect gift?" Come on. You could give any dog a sack of stinky garbage and it would be like they won the lottery. I'd say you pretty much can't go wrong if you give the gift of ... meat. It's a timeless classic. If you want to go wild, throw down some cheese.
Secondly: Farewell, Marie. You knew it was coming after what will forever be known on DWTS as "the dumbfounding doll debacle." The doll dance was waaay worse than any Sanjaya performance ever hoped to be. I sat slack-jawed watching the sister of my almosthusband whenIwas11 embarrass the whole Osmond family, millions of Osmond fans, Sharon and Ozzie Osbourne, the citizens of Oslo, anyone or thing even associated with the letter "O." You know even Oprah grimaced. I had to watch this through my hands like an American Idol audition. Why did she hold her mouth like that the entire dance? Why did she show her underwear right at the get-go? Who suggested and choreographed this for Marie--LaToya Jackson? Why did she act so smug, throwing up her hands and yelling, "I'm a doll designer! I'm a doll designer!" One judge said she was like a cross between Baby Jane and the Bride of Chuckie. Another said it was the loopiest thing he'd ever seen. I know she's been through a lot, but still, why didn't somebody stop her?
If you missed it and wish to have your retinas melted, here it is: