Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Thanksgiving Historical Account of the Curse of the Brown and Serve Rolls

I'm on vacation today, and I planned to sleep in, but here it is 6:24 a.m., and my mind is racing so fast that there's no way I could've gone back to sleep, even though I did try to recite scripture AND remember all the verses to "One Bad Apple." So why fight the energy? Like you, I've got tons to do today.

My two college students are home for the long weekend, and this time they brought their friends with them because they would be lonely left on campus with so many people vacating. But it's really hard for me to be nice to them because they're dirty and smelly and ugly and they just sit there taking up a lot of room, expecting to be taken care of. Their names? "Two Weeks' Worth of Dirty Laundry" (rim shot). The picture below is only part of the madness; did you think I'd let you see the whole laundry room? Also, do you think the picture of the laundry creatures is creepy? Can one basket of dirty laundry put the moves on a second basket?

The other pic is of the kids. I bet you wonder what they're doing. My son said to "put on your blog that we're throwing up a 'T' for Thanksgiving." His holiday warmth moves me. I'm tearing up right now.

Finally, that picture at the top represents the annual battle of the brown and serve rolls in our family which dates back to 1457, when America's pilgrims were not yet even a gleam in our foredaddy's eyes. Here is an excerpt from the diary of my English ancestor, Lord Rollington Browne: "I asketh you, what is so danged hard about baking these rolls that the bottoms always burn, but the tops hardly brown? We've tried everything over the years, from using foil to no foil to turning the foil wrong sideth upeth ... from trying different ovens to trying those new-fangled Easy Bake Ovens, to taking them to tanning beds. It's useless; they always win."

It's a generational curse.

So for years, every Thanksgiving and Christmas, my mom calls out to my three sisters-in-law and me, "Who wants to watch the rolls?" Immediately, the chill inside matches the chill outside. You'd think she called out, "Who wants their mother-in-law to come live with them?"

16 comments:

Melanie said...

You know when laundry is piled together like that, it tends to reproduce. That's why we are supposed to keep it separated. :>)

The rolls- Butter the bottom, too. Liberally. Sounds nuts, but it works. It keeps it moist and even if the bottom browns, it won't be dry.

Big Mama said...

I can offer you no roll advice. However, I would like to throw up a T for Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

Heth said...

"I asketh you?"

When are you going to stop cracking me up. Every. Stinking. Post.

Can I come to your Thanksgiving dinner? Pleeaze! I'll watch the rolls.

Susanne said...

Have you tried turning down the oven by 15 degrees for the rolls?

You crack me up as does your kids. Isn't it funny how once you have a blog they get all sorts of ideas on what to put on there? I get that on a regular basis.

You better get that laundry at least a few feet apart. They breed don't you know?

marina said...

Linda come check out my new videos...u see donny was only singing to me...hahah.....y cuz he loves me...lol...( " <3

marina

Debbie said...

Try risething up the oven rack to helpeth with even brownething!?!

Beware the reproducing laundry or you may end up mind melding with blogger From Under the Laundry Pile....

Ann said...

Linda you are awesome, and I thoroughly enjoyed this post!! The curse of the rolls was hilarious, and I love the picture of your kids throwing up the T, it makes me excited to think of my kids being that age some day. You are so witty and wonderful!! Happy Thanksgiving :)

Lynn / vigilant20 said...

When we're nearly done with dinner my mom always leaps up and runs to put the rolls in because she forgot them completely. At least yours make it to the oven :)

PJ said...

My grown kids don't allow me near the rolls -- or any bread in the oven -- I always burn it, have done so for years. My younger son (age 34) now makes yummy homemade rolls and pies and turkey with stuffing... Funny how that works...burn the rolls...then... don't have to cook. Might work with the laundry too. Laundry?? What laundry? My eyes are getting weak! DO you see laundry? Maybe you'd better do it then!

Roxanne said...

Step AWAY from the Brown 'n Serve rolls. Go to Wal-Mart (although this would probably be the WRONG time to do that), look in the frozen food aisle for SISTER SCHUBERT rolls. They are frozen. They are delicious. Buy three pans of them. They will not disappoint. They will not burn. They will STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!

Linda said...

There are two bags of rolls just sitting in there, right now, waiting ... waiting ....

Fresh Girl said...

I'm going to amen the Sister Schubert rolls! ;)

Happy Thanksgiving, Linda! I know you're going to enjoy having all three of your little chicks under one roof again...in between doing loads of laundry!

Roxanne said...

Just received your plaintive comment. Go on Friday (after the madness) and buy them then to go with your leftovers. :)

Melanie said...

Sister Schubert catered my friend's wedding reception. I support her cause. ALL of her stuff is good. We are having her rolls tomorrow. Let me know how yours turn out!

truth said...

Oh, I'm so glad I read this post. You reminded me to take the bread dough for the rolls out of the freezer. Whew! Tomorrow morning could have been distrous.

Connie@Little Red Hearts From God said...

Sister Shupert makes wonderful yeast rolls.. all you do is pop them in the oven, throw them in a wonderful beautiful basket...

I will never make my own again.. not that I ever could....LOL

snort giggle