Thursday, December 06, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen Top 13 Signs You’re Stressing Out/Over-doing Christmas

1. When you’re trapped in the Walmart baking aisle and cannot extricate yourself, you start whispering, “I’m really in Times Square … I’m really in Times Square ….”

2. You have so many ornaments and trinkets on display that you can’t dust, but you just pretend it’s snow.

3. When you’re worshipping in church, you sing like Bing Crosby.

4. You feel pressured to buy gifts for everyone, even tiny leather gloves for the gingerbread men that you baked.

5. You bought so many gifts you can use the receipts to wrap gifts.

6. You hung tiny Christmas lights on the crèche and put a “Baby’s First Christmas” Santa hat on the baby Jesus.

7. You bake so much that you just keep your oven mitts on. They can also double as driving gloves.

8. You Photoshopped cute, angelic kids’ faces over the tops of your urchins for the annual family Christmas photo. Image is everything.

9. You claim that the flour covering your kitchen and kids and the lint on your clothes and dandruff on your shoulders are all part of the fake snow decor.

10. You drag your kids kicking and screaming away from Santa only to discover upon buckling them in car seats that they are actually Santa’s mall elves.

11. You threaten to send your kids to Rudolph’s Isle of Misfits if they don’t straighten up.

12. You renamed your dog max and put reindeer antlers on him.

13. You’re smiling in your mug shot, because although you got arrested for brawling with another woman and knocking her to the ground in Macy’s, you got the last sparkly snowman suede shirt. Victory!

21 comments:

She Became a Butterfly said...

i love my bing crosby impression! hehe

Susanne said...

You crack me right up! I have permanent "snow" at my house. Winter, spring, summer and fall.

I didn't know there was a Rudolph's Isle of Misfits or I probably would have threatened it in years past. LOL.

The look on Zoe's face in priceless.

Sassy Lucy said...

I have a 2nd pot of coffee brewing but would have spit coffee at the monitor as I read this adorable post, my favorites are definitely 4, 10, 11, and 13.
Excellent T13
Peace,
Penelope Anne
http://cafeendofuniverse.blogspot.com/

Yellow Mama said...

I love #ten. Vary, Vary (not very) funny! Blessings.

mom huebert said...

I love the one about putting a "Baby's First Christmas" hat on baby Jesus! It was his first Christmas, wasn't it? Maybe I'll try that one....

Sandy Carlson said...

This is a funny list. I wasn't thinking of the dust as snow, but I will now!

God bless.

Chris said...

Some kids might really enjoy a trip to Rudolph's Isle of Misfits, I know I would. LOL Happy TT!

The Rock Chick said...

This is great! I love the dragging the kids out to realize they are Santa mall elves!! I think I almost did that once!

Thanks for the smiles and Happy TT!
Jessica The Rock Chick

Dawn said...

A funny list, and those things would indicate much stress. I love your tower of sweets below, and your school post. Thanks for visiting.

Greatfullivin said...

Hi Linda,Thanks for stopping by, I REALLY mean that cause it brought me here. This is one of the funniest TT's I have read. You crack me up. I also read about your Titanic Tower from Larry and Barry. I am rolling, I am laughing sooooo hard. Great TT!

Cyndy said...

No wonder the dog isn't coming when I call.

samurai said...

I chuckled on pretty much every one of those...

Leeann said...

LOL. I love #8. Really gonna have to do that!

jayedee said...

i am SOOO there on #2! LOL
great list! happy tt!

Melanie said...

Too funny. I thought you were going to say that the kids you dragged from Santa were someone else's kids. LOL

I was thinking of a stress post today myself. Twisted minds think alike. :>)

Johanna said...

"You bake so much that you just keep your oven mitts on" made me spray the monitor with a fine mist of orange juice spit- am going to force everyone I know to look at this post...

Leeann said...

Thank you for stopping by my site today and for the kind comments. I love your list....especially #3.

Fresh Girl said...

Heee! #s 4 and 7 are my favorites! ;)

TopChamp said...

ha ha - wrapping with receipts... heading off to work now chuckling.

Happy TT!

Debbie said...

Where do you come up with this stuff? I have to plead guily on #12. Probably #5 too and definitely, in the past, #11.

Hillarious!

Nicholas said...

Funny list! If I could sing like Bing I'd be a happy man!