Thursday, January 10, 2008

I Espressed Myself in Fritalian

Well, while my youngest was in her hip-hop class tonight, I took my gift card that Marina recently sent me and my rough drafts and marched into Starbucks determined to speak Fritalian.

I was going to say, "I'll have a talle decaf coffee with creme." Notice I did not spell that word "cream," which is so proletarian. I chose instead to use the bourgeois "creme." But I do not know how to make the accent appear, so that brings it down a notch. (Keepin' it real.)

But as I approached the counter, I saw their special: skinny lattes, only 90 calories each. The vanilla jumped off the sign and tempted me on this cold, cold, rainy Indiana night. I succumbed to its come hither warm embrace.

So I ordered myself a talle, skinny vanilla latte, in the right word order and everything. I could tell the barista was really impressed.

I sat down and took a sip, and I died right there and went to heaven.

I began writing, and I became, at once, very, very witty. And fast. So fast my pen was making squiggly marks of which I was not in control all over my paper. Inspired by a muse? No. I bet you can guess why: caffeine. If you don't drink it, and you get some, you become the fastest, wittiest, most charming and alert person in Starbucks. Even if no one else can tell.

So now I'll probably be up all night, paying for the sins of my flesh. And you enablers who taught me to speak Fritalian--I hope you're happy.

*PS: Please go say hello and love on Marina. She had a tooth pulled this week and then came down with strep throat. She is so sweet; I can't stand that she is going through this!

9 comments:

marina said...

Thank you Linda your words bless me to day...and I am happy you enjoyed your coffee!!now I need to learn how to speake too Fritailian, marina
PS. my husband says he can get use to me not speaking anymore the house is alot more less noise.

Melanie said...

Legend has it that Hemingway had his own private espresso bar.

However, Whitman was a tea drinker. Hence, "Leaves of Grass."

Merrie said...

I'm so proud of you! Learning a new language is very impressive! My daughter works part-time at Starbucks and she has a hard time getting the drink name things in order. She laughs and enjoys when the customers come in and are honestly confused about what they are trying to order.
Don't know why they have to be so intimidating with their trying to be so ...foreign, witty... Fritalian!

Johanna said...

I just read this study that showed that caffeine consumption prevented Alzheimer's" disease (in rats) and reversed it if high caffeine intakes were adopted. So, chug it freely for your health, man!

Shonda said...

Glad to hear you enjoyed your coffee. I'm denying those calories (like Lisa) to myself for a while.

Glad you mentioned Marina. She's a sweetie and can use the encouragement!

Blessings in Christ--

Susanne said...

Ahhhh, I'm tasting your first sip with you. But evidently I not only need the caffienne, but the calories as well, because I don't give the skinnies a second glance. It's white chocolate mocha, the one with the whipped cream all over the top. Oh baby!

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

I'm so thrilled by your experience! What a delightful way to be inspired.

(I'm a former barista and never DID quite get the drink order thing down . . .)

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

I am so proud of you, Linda Ann!

Mission Musings said...

Oh my gosh, you are so hilarious. I, too, have had the same experience at Starbucks. I've been working on a book and all 14 pages were written there in one sitting.

I blogged over from somewhere... I don't recall. I just saw your link, something about coffee, and clicked it. Then I saved it because it looked interesting. Well, that was three days ago and now I don't remember.

But, I did come back and peruse. Excellent work!