Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Breng Op Het Goede Vet!

I don't know what my ethnic heritage is. I think my dad said something once about being Pennsylvania Dutch, but I think he just said that because he likes pie an awful lot. I only know I'm a A-murikin. Oh, and there is one other "people group" to which I belong: The Apple Woman Clan.

Many American women belong to the Pear Woman Clan, but not me. I believe my ample apple waistline points directly to the likelihood that I'm a direct descendent of the very first Apple Clan Woman, Elke Van Appelstreuselbakker of der Nederland, Indiana.

I'm speaking, of course, about where we women carry our fat, either around the apple-shaped middle or the pear-shaped hips and thighs.

So, which are you, an apple danish or pear tart?

Long before I ever had a child, even when I was in high school, I had a slight pooch in the front pocket, if you know what I mean. My best friend had a completely flat, or concave, tummy but had larger thighs and hips.

Now that I'm 45, the apple is engulfing me. I'm being swallowed by the apple that is me. It is working its way up to my upper arms and neck. Help.

Fortunately, one of my smarter middle-aged moves was to subscribe to Prevention Magazine, the Reader's Digest of health suggestions that has been a fixture in my mother's little blue wicker basket in her bathroom since Saturday Night Fever was the next big thing.

Guess what I learned from February's issue? There is supposedly a diet especially for my people.

It's called the "Mufa" (monounsaturated fatty acids) diet. Put simply, Mufas are good fat. (And that's another one of those odd sentences you can't believe you just said). Apparently, fat-bellies could use some more fat, but the good kind of fat--Phat fat. These smart fats are supposed to ward off chronic disease and help you lose around the middle section.

Now hold on to your fruit baskets, 'cause here are the 5 food groups of the Mufa Miracle:

1. Oils - canola, flaxseed, olive, peanut and pesto, safflower, sesame, soybean, sunflower, walnut. Serving = 1 T.

2. Nuts and seeds - (Oh happy day. Love these.) Macadamia, almonds, brazils, cashews, chunky natural peanut butter, sunflower seeds, pecans, pine nuts, walnuts, etc. Serving = 2 T.

3. Avocado - Serving = 1/4 c.

4. Olives - Black or green. Serving = 10 large.

Drum Roll, Please!


("Welll, You know you make me wanna (Shout!)
Kick my heels up and (Shout!)
Throw my hands up and (Shout!)
Throw my head back and (Shout!)
Come on now (Shout!)
Don't forget to say you will
Don't forget to say, yeah, yeah!")

Dark or semi-sweet chips, shavings or chunks. Serving size = 1/4 c.

You eat one serving of one of these at every meal. You'd have to read the research and see the before and after pics to fully appreciate the claims of this diet. But they say that even people who just start including these fats actually lose a little without exercise or strict dieting.

The Mufa diet is calling my name. So "Moof" over, lettuce and carrots, and "breng op het goede vet!" [Bring on the good fat!]


Susanne said...

Well, I'm definitely a pear. Don't think I'm a tart, but definitely a pear. What kind of diet do I get? I hope it's got chocolate in it too, 'cause I just finished the last of the innards of my chocolate heart from valentines. And I can't let that whole chocolate heart go to waste.

Melanie said...

Oh, Linda! The flat belly diet. Yes, M'am. I saw this yesterday.I think I am going to try it. I have had a pooch since I was like, two. No waist at all.

Let's go for it and keep tabs on each other. What do ya think?

Mocha with Linda said...

Maybe I'll change my blog to Mufa with Linda!

Oh this so describes me to a T - even down to the when-I-was-a-kid part. Always have had a tummy.

This is very good counterpoint to the news I just read that strokes are rising in our esteemed age group due to belly fat.


I've now been told I have barnacles of old age (my debut Jan. 2 post), was a Ted Koppel look-alike, and am headed for a belly-fat-induced stroke.


Bring on the dark chocolate with nuts.

Ruthie said...

lucky you! Unfortunately I'm a pear, and I think we pears get that way because of, and are not helped by, our chocolate consumption. :(

Darlene R. said...

No stinkin' way! I am an apple, for sure. I have lost so much weight, but I just know that last 6 pounds is in my middle. I have always had that little pouch thing going on, too.
I wonder if the Cadbury Eggs that I eat this time of year might have something to do with that? :)Thank you Easter bunny!!
Thanks for sharing this little bit of info!

annie's eyes said...

You are quite simply a one-woman party on a page! Love your posts! annie

Fiddledeedee (It Coulda' Been Worse) said...

Apple. A Red Delicious, I think.

My measurements are the same all the way down.

You may have just made my day. I'll let you know in a month.

Laura said...

I am a total, granny-smith/royal gala apple. I wish, wish, wish to be a pear, but it just won't be.

Glad for the recommendation on the diet!

BeverlyDru said...

I'm with Lysa over at Proverbs 31, I'm a muffin top. And muffin bottom. By the way,the chocolate diet principle has been tested on my body and proven to be so much balderdash. And balderdash doesn't taste anything like chocolate. Phooey.

Mocha with Linda said...

What IS it today with the tummy posts? Lysa TerKeurst has it too! (I mentioned yours in my comment...)

Mufa muffin tops unite!

BethAnne said...

I read this too. I am only 35, but my apple has completely taken over and it is covered in carmel - I mean it is huge. I am with you on that. I also heart the fact that dark chocolate is on the mufa list. I recently discovered that I love Dove dark chocolate (never like the bitter taste). This is good news, my friend, good news. Praise the Lord for Dove and the mufa list.

Cyndy said...

I am a very plump pear. Meaning that while I definately sport the lower half of the pear, I'm also having some apple tendencies...or maybe I'm just really...uh...ripe.
I'm MUFA-ing too...we'll see...but I'm lovin' my chocolate!

Debbie said...

Count me as part of the apple clan & hoping I'm at least a Golden Delicious. And I too have had what we called a "had a baby belly" since way before there were any babies.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

Normally, I resemble a banana more than a pear or an apple. I'm pretty straight, with a few curves to make things interesting.

But right now, six weeks post-baby, I'm just lumpy. Is there a lumpy fruit?

Robin said...

Okay - I'm going out to find that Prevention magazine today!

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

I too am an apple. Easier to lose the weight, but higher rates of every kind of disease under the sun. I read somewhere that women are not SUPPOSED to be apples, men are, so apple women's bodies are more prone to disease. Nice.

marina said...

ok, Linda I am both apple and a pear,however when you girls get around 40 something pre -menouspause comes walking in at leat it has for me and my doctor said its the estrogen that we are missing that is why we grow an extra belly of fat!! I would like to say it niecly Like "MissPiggy "would!
"its that little extra layer of fat that we call HORMONE's" thank you, marina

Ann said...

I had to go to the doctor the other day for my cough and was so excited that I am only 5 pounds away from my pre-baby weight. But you know where all those pounds are melting from? Yeah, my...upper body...NOT FAIR.

Anonymous said...

This post is so funny! I am an "apple tart" - mainly because I have had such a horrible (ok, smart alecky) personality lately - thanks to those wonderful "hormonies". This is a great post.

Lisa writes... said...

Kelly: grapes, maybe? ;-)


Sign me up!


Laura said...

Okay this sounds like THE diet for me! I am working on trimming down my apple...

Fran said...

How in the world did you turn that into funny stuff???

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with annie's are a part on a page!

The chocolate sounds great...can I just pretend that I'm an apple even though I'm a pear? Yeah, I didn't think that would work.

Hooray for you. Hope you enjoy all your Mufa-ing!

Teresa said...

Okay...I'll have to dig out my issue of Prevention that mysteriously started appearing in my mailbox 9 months ago and see if my pear shape can handle chocolate!

Merrie said...

Wow... being an apple is great news! Who knew how much fun it could be! I'll have to try it! I'm more of a banana with a belly! Have had a pot belly since - well all my life - literally! I'll pour on the chocolate and nuts! It has to be a heavenly inspired diet!

Elaine A. said...

Okay, please say the pear peeps get chocolate too, please! Okay, well if not, too bad 'cuz I am gonna eat it anyway!

Jodie said...

I'm a pear, and a little bit tart. Hmmm, I'm tempted to say I'm an apple, though, just so I can start the chocolate-lovers diet.

I so appreciate your reference to Phat fats. I knew we were soul sistas. I love a girl who shows some love for the P-h. :)

Mommy, the Human Napkin said...

I knew we must be related somehow! I'm in the apple family, too. It's gotten worse since I started having kids, but now that I think we're done, and in light of recent family medical issues (I posted about it on my site), I have been seriously wanting to get back in shape and start eating better. And I truly believe I could do the avocados and dark chocolate.

Also, the Phat fat comment made me laugh out loud. I think I'm going to have to try to use that in a conversation this week. We'll see how well that works. I can't usually pull off the hip lingo.

Sing4joy said...

("Welll, You know you make me wanna (Shout!)
Kick my heels up and (Shout!)
Throw my hands up and (Shout!)...
I actually heard that song start playing and nearly fell out of my seat laughing! I started the 'chocolate with every meal' diet many years ago. I have been steadfastly faithful in adhering to it. I haven't lost any weight. Perhaps my portions aren't big enough.