Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Remember how I said I love Fridays? Last Friday, I rushed into work to find my building darker than usual. I looked at the clock which read "8:00," which threw me because I don't go in until 9:00. I thought, "Batteries must be sluggish."

I checked my watch, which was on upside down because I had thrown it on so hastily, and it said, "8:00." Then came the sinking feeling when you've done something stupid: "I'm stupid."

I had come into work an hour early.

But do you think that's the end of that story?

Nooo.

About an hour later, a church volunteer came in and said, "Who has the teal Camaro in the lot?" (Actually, he said, "that little blue-green-bluish-greenish little car," but why should I care if someone defames my beloved sweet car?)

I said, "That's mine."

"You've got a flat."

Fridays, YES!!!

*******

In other riveting news ...

My family has a problem with volume. If this were the 80s, that would have a follicular meaning, but I'm talking about electronic volume.

When our CD players and car radios break, something screwy happens with the volume. That is, they take on an autonomous existence wherein the electronic devices themselves decide when volume will rise and fall and exactly what we will be listening to today.

I'll be in our minivan (because someone is blackmailing me or physically torturing me) and I'll decide that I want to pump up REO's "Keep On Lovin' You" because I can sing that really LOUD, and then the radio goes, "Hold on a minute, Squirrely Pearlie. I'm in control here." And then I have to whisper-sing, or tragically, lip sync, in order to keep hearing the music. Sometimes the van decides we are only going to listen to certain stations or either AM or FM. It's like a tiny dictator from Dynasty's Moldavia is living in my dashboard.

In my bathroom, the CD part of the thing quit altogether, and the radio volume goes up and down willy nilly. So I have to shake it and pound it lightly and move the "on" button to the left ever-so-gingerly or it will EXPLODE Mercy Me's "Bring the Rain."

But the worst is when the silky throated, ever-subdued NPR personalities are SCREAMING at me. It's like being in Munch's

The Scream

16 comments:

Mocha with Linda said...

Sounds like your volume demon got ahold of your calendar and put your Monday on Friday.

Susanne said...

An hour to work early??? Volume issues? I'm hearing twilight zone music playing!

Did you at least get to go home an hour early?

Melanie said...

Oh, Linda. You never disappoint!

Heth said...

The same thing has happened to us. We were at the whim of our van's cd/dvd player. Every time we turned it on we wondered what station or what volume it would decide on that day. Good times.

Now it has decided that we are to watch Nacho Libre 987 times in a row.

Happy Tuesday! No flat tires today, right?

Lynn said...

What a hoot!

Life In Progress said...

Well, at least you were an hour early instead of an hour late.

Mike said...

Great "The Scream" artwork. Love it.

My clock is always 30 minutes advanced. So, when the alarm goes off, I simply shut my eyes and tell myself, "I have another 30 minutes."

Hmp.


Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/

http://www.mikeleonen.com/

DidiLyn said...

I can't believe you went into work an hour early. So for an hour, you could bang your head on the wall. Or fix your flat tire, whichever seemed more appropriate.
My goodness.
Diane

Lois E. Lane said...

HA! The picture wihout any explanation is good enough.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

At our house, the gremlins that change the volume willy-nilly are called "children."

Ruthie said...

Thanks for your sweet comments. I've been enjoying your submersion into LOST-dom. Are you caught up yet? Hang in there -- it gets better (or worse)!

justabeachkat said...

Hi Linda (aka another Phat Mother Hen - LOL! I know...what DOES it mean?)

Thanks for stopping by my blog to say "hi". Hope you'll come again...you're always welcome.

I've enjoyed my visit here.

Hugs!
Kat

Kelley at Aroma of Joy said...

About the volume, I am reminded of your post with Bert and Ernie. And the picture is great, I can sooo relate!

~~Kelley

KarenW said...

Hmmm. . . an hour early to work. Maybe if you would have left at the regular time, your tire would have already been flat and then you would have been an hour late.

I hope your Friday goes better this week.

Kim said...

Ya ever have one of those days?? Oh, wait...you did! I'm SO glad I'm not alone. I can relate to you on SO many levels. LOL!

I LOVE The Scream picture! HAHAHAHA!!

Laura said...

You should be paid for how funny you are.

First of all, "follicular meaning?" That's priceless.

And the very concept of NPR screaming at you... wow, that's loud.

The picture is hilarious!