Monday, March 24, 2008

"Mom, I Want to Get My Hair Cut" & Internet Cafe Today

Every so many months, my 3rd little cutey-patootie asks, "Mom, can I get my hair cut?" "Mom, can I get it cut today?" "I wish I could get my hair cut." "Do you think you could take me today?"


Because we have lived through this ordeal several times, I know that getting the hair cut is never good. Never.

The rest of the conversation goes:

Her: "I just hate it that it's all one length. It's so boring. I don't even look like I have a style."

Me: "You look like every other girl coming out of school every day: long, straight hair, parted on the side or pulled back in a messy bun/pony tail."

Her: Totally ignoring me, "Mom, can we get it cut today?"

Me: "I have a bad feeling about this. You are usually extremely unhappy after we do this."

Her: "Mom ... can we--"

Me: "OK, how do you want it cut?"

Her: "I don't know."

Me: Dying inside because that is the worst thing she could've said. "Well, you have to know what you want before you go. You have to give the stylist instructions. You have to know what you want and communicate it clearly so that you're not disappointed after."

Her: "I know."

Me: "So, what is the look you're after?"

Her: "I don't know. I just want it cut."

Me: Blood pressure rising, in spite of the fact that I have low blood pressure. "Then we're not going because you don't know what you want, and that is not fair to the stylist." (And I'm thinking, "Or fair to me," because I know I am the one who will have to deal with the emotional fall-out of teenaged disappointment, which is the only thing worse than teenaged angst.)

Her: Sensing she is losing ground now: "OK, layers. I want layers."

Me: "No you don't."

Her: "What? Yes I do!"

Me: "The last time you got layers, you hated them."

Her: "That's because they were like uneven places my hair, like chunks ... not even."

Me: "That is the definition of 'layer,' and you don't want them."

Her: "Yes I do."

Me: Switching tracks quickly, "Is there a girl at school or a celebrity who has the look you're after? Maybe we could take a picture in."

We go to the Internet and search "Teenage hairstyles, layered."

*Me: "How about this one?"

Her: "No."

Me: "This one?"

Her: "No."

*(Repeat this loop about 25 times.)

Me: "OK, this is ridiculous. You don't like any style on the face of the earth. Do you want the stylist to consult salons on Mars to see what's trendy there?"

Enter Dad: "Whatcha doing? Uh ... uh-oh. Sorry. I'm outta here." Exit Dad.

Me: "All right, this is a stretch, but what if we drew what you're thinking of; would that help?"

Her: "I don't know." (Why am I not surprised by that answer?)


So I think I have it figured out. We go and talk to the stylist. I say:

"I think she wants long layers, not blunt-cut, but razor cut or point cut--I'm not sure of the term. She wants the layers to blend, and the shortest layer should start at about chin level, keeping her current length as much as possible."

Stylist: Snaps gum for a few seconds and picks up chunks of Daughter's hair and lets them drop over and over while she listens. "OK!" she says, "Ya, sure, ya!" Nick Arrojo never snaps his gum or says, "Ya."


Thirty minutes later, it's a fait accompli.

Me: In the car. "Do you like it?"

Her: "Yes, I think I do!"

Me: "Yay!"

Fast forward to next morning before school. She comes out to gather her books together before leaving.


I am a frustrated mom. But I am also a smart mom, so I do not even ask. At least we're not drawing tattoos every 6 months.

Come join me at the Cafe today for a 2nd-2nd cup!


Darlene R. said...

My daughter is 7. How long do I have until I go through this? It's taken 7 years to grow what she has, but I just KNOW my day is coming!

Mocha with Linda said...

Too funny! All that for a ponytail! What a great mom!

samurai said...

My DD is not at this same stage - but I am NOT looking forward to it when she gets there!

Thank God I am not her mother. LOL

And thank God He gave you the wisdom to see your daughter through these times.

Cindy Swanson said...

Linda...I had to laugh, because I went through that so many times with my daughter!

Susanne said...

Oh, I'm having major deja vu except I've never gone so far as drawing. At our house we mostly have bang issues. The bangs never, ever turn out right.

A Stone Gatherer said...

Is that what I have to look forward to with my little Bekah Wekah?! Oh Joy!!!

Faith said...

LOL this totally cracked me up because in my house, it is the reverse. My 14 year old LOVES her long, straight hair, parted in middle or in that ponytail/bun thing.
I want her to get it shaped and layered!

(my youngest has hair down her back but it is just gorgeous as is naturally wavy...she ain't cuttin' it!) LOL

Erin said...

Oh, this made me laugh. I think I might have been like that. Maybe that's why my hair never changed style for a LONG time. It's taken me until just a few years ago to not worry so much about change.

Fully Alive...Ready to Smile

BethAnne said...

I soooooo remember going through that same conversation with my mother endless times!

Carol said...

That conversation could have taken place at my house on any given day of the week! Too funny! Off to the Cafe for another cup of coffee with Linda!

~Carol (i throw like a girl)

Darnelle said...

Oh My Gosh you guys are my favorite sit-com! (It's only funny because I have 3 daughters and because it was happening to you - this time - and not me.)
I have a 17 year old son who just cut off all of his (very) long ringlet, curly, rock star hair. It's not what he WANTED the stylist to do mind you, but he also WANTED mom to let him go alone. Mom WANTED to just sit quietly in the background just in case the stylist zoned out and began cutting it all off (ahem!) But, alas, Mom was banished. Then Mom WANTED to move to a new zip code until the curls grow back and until Rock Star stops saying "I hate my hair."

I love my job.

Darnelle said...

Wow! I just noticed the coffee coming out of the coffee maker on your header. Well that's just awesome.

Cyndy said...

Uuuhhh....some of us are still going through this...okay, I'm still going through this. Only by myself. My mom exited the proceedings years ago. Now I sit in the chair and hope my stylist will divine in some way what I want.

Yeah, so it never looks any different. She has me figured out.

Queen B said...


I remember being her.

I am so in for it...

Ann said...

I. Love. It. Your husband's response was hilarious.

And now I'm going to check out your article at the cafe.

Lois E. Lane said...

Until I was 12, I had straight golden hair. And every time my Mom took me to get it cut, it was a bob -- not unlike the Dutch-boy Paint mascot. I protested every time; I wanted "a style," you see. My mother and the stylist tried every time to convince me that a bob WAS a style, but it fell on deaf ears. They got their way, though, because I was never brave enough to try an alternative. Shyness and stubbornness make strange bed-fellows when it comes to hair. But you know what? I've come to realize my Mom and her stylist were right about that cut ... and I wish I could still pull it off!

Kelley at Aroma of Joy said...

At our house it is all about color. They change their haircolor when they are happy, sad, bored, name it. We should invest in Nice and Easy! I hope you had a wonderful Easter!


Jenileigh said...

I have to laugh. I have three daughters! Ha!

MoodyBlue said...

That is so funny! After all that still wound up in a ponytail. Well, at least for the meantime she won't know if she hates it or not. LOL!

Big Mama said...

I think your daughter and I have the same hair issues.

Lisa writes... said...

Now, that's funny. A little too funny, actually, as I consider my own hair indecision.

kittyhox said...

How sad is it that I relate more to your daughter in this post than to you!? I'm the mom!

I always want to do something different with my hair but I have never yet successfully communicated what I want to anyone, because I'm not quite sure! I just know I want something different. But not different like any of the cuts I've received over the past few years. So I just wear a ponytail, almost every single day...

I wish Stylists were also mind readers.

Lynn said...

I have the same hair issue! Too funny! I have a few years until Chaislyn gets to that point.

Ok, you can't tell me about another SHS person that has adopted from China then don't give me her blog addy! LOL

I want to go take a look, I may even know her. You can email it to me if you want.

Dana said...

Oh the joys of hair! Darnelle, I have a 16 year old that went through the same thing...all of the long curls were cut and now he has to straighten it! My 12 year old girl has curls but also has a love affair with the flat iron....I have it coming from all angles! I enjoyed your blog, and I love my second cup too!