I know, I went all serious on you yesterday, and you said, "Whut?" when you saw I was all up into Oprah's Nowness. Never fear, it doesn't take me long to get back to the truly important issues in life. And so we move on to ...
Right off the bat, the biggest hit of the night for me: Ryan's striped shirt and jacket. I'm not joking! Most of the time, his wardrobe is just "a'ight, man. But this was the outfit to beat tonight--RyanSeacrest, Dawg, you did it, man!"
So who do you think is goin' home?
Luke Menard, that's who. Perhaps he will wake us up before he go-gos. Although I don't really want to hear it when he hits that HIGH again.
Someone loosed little David Archuleta from Paula's rear view mirror just in time for him to sing Phil Collins' "Another Day in Paradise." David (1 of 3 Davids) did show himself to be human, finally, by not having perfect pitch. There is one tick that is bothering me with little David, though: the tongue. Why does it come out all the time?
Next up was Danny Noriega. And here is where I'd like to give credit to Melanie of This Ain't New York for pointing out that we have both a "Noriega" and a "Castro" in this competition. Weird. Anyway, people do not like this kid. He is too "out there" in many ways for the Bible Belt. TMTH. What I notice about him, though, and to be fair, what I notice about a lot of the contestants, is the continual head bobbing in agreement with the judges whenever the judges are complimenting them. They don't nod as if to say, "Thank you, I acknowledge your kindness to me." They bob up and down enthusiastically as if to say, "I totally agree. I do have some of the best vocals in this competition. I WILL be back next week." STOP NODDING, everyone, especially you, Danny. I know; it's hard to be humble when you're great, but try.
David Hernandez gazed into our eyes again, and I found myself levitating with a hoop passing over me. He is imitating David Copperfield; I know he is! I loved how Randy kept saying, "You've got a big o' voice! A BIG o' voice!" We have a tire store here called "Big O Tires," and that was all I could think of: "Did he get his Big O' Vocal Cords at Big O' Tires?"
Michael Johns sang "Don't You Forget About Me," and for me, man, [sucks air through teeth and looks pained] it was forgettable. Sorry. He was one of my early favs, but now I'm just lukewarm. (Sorry, Luke Menard).
David Cook's whole performance was worth it just to hear Simon say he saw Lionel Ritchie at Whole Foods. That cracked me up so much. If I saw Lionel Ritchie in the grocery store, I would go up and sing,
"Hello--Is it beef you're looking for?
Tell me where to find the beef, 'cause I haven't got a clue--
There's someone coming over; I'm fixing us beef stew ...."
Anyway, I think David Cook did well on this rendition, but it's the first thing he's done that I've liked. Why does he sing with his eyes half shut? He tries so hard to look edgy, but he's got chubby cheeks. And I know whereof I speak concerning cheeks.
Jason Castro--Could he re-wind that story about how one of his dreds fell off at dinner? I was like, "Huh?" I mean, how could that happen? Do dreds get so dry they just snap off? Was it fake? I looked over at Jorge and said, "Can dreds just fall off like that?" and he said, "Well, that's just great, Linda, ask the bald husband about dreds!" I doubled over laughing.
Chikezie came out pretty strong again. The best part of this performance? Paula saying, "I've got two words for you, 'Bra' 'Vo.'" Priceless.
So now, it's up to the girls tonight. I hope Simon says something like he saw Celine Dion at the Klip-N-Curl. That would make me very happy.