Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Welcome to the Happiest Day of My Life

There are days, and then there are those days.

Days when you wake up late and the sweater you wanted to wear grew a hole overnight, days when your left contact falls off your finger to the floor and then your Johnny-on-the-spot Yorkie finds it before you and eats it, and your beloved newly-wrecked car answers the turn of the key with "Wrrr. Wrrr. Wrrrr you seriously expecting me to start this morning? Because, wrrrrrr."

At work, my desk was piled high with tasks due yesterday, and when I got home, my boss called to tell me (in the most gracious way--truly) that I screwed up something big-time, which I'll have to completely re-do tomorrow.

And those are just the things I'm brave enough to write about.

Crestfallen, I dropped into my computer desk chair to check my email, just lookin' for a little bit of bloggin' love, you know.

And there it was.

There. It. Was.: An email that changed everything.

"What?" you say. "What was the nature of the message that totally turned your bumpkus life around in 10 seconds this afternoon, Linda?"

Well, I'll tell you what it was ... right after I milk this some more.

[Beatbox happy dance that serves as a drumroll: Un-cha, un-cha, un-cha, UNH!]

I received a message from

Clinton Kelly, the David Niven of the 21st Century, that's all.


Are you just so shocked right now? I KNOW!

So were my mom, my girlfriends, friends, co-workers, my daughters, my husband, his co-workers, the postal substation worker, the Starbucks barista, the girl behind the desk at the dance studio, the gas station boy, my dog and my mirror! Everyone was shocked! And more will be shocked tomorrow; I can promise you!

I know--you want to know what Clinton said and why he said it. I'll get to that because I have his permission. (!) But first, let me re-count (and therefore re-live) every second that I read the message:

I must've made some kind of unintelligible strangling noise because my 15 year-old daughter came over to the computer to see why I was stroking out. All I could do was point to the screen. She bent over to read the message, and in a fit of giddy disbelief, I put my feet on the side of her leg and "walked" up her body. She started laughing and bent closer, and I sunk my teeth into her arm, mainly so I wouldn't chew my tongue.

OK, so here's the message, which I'm going to print in blue, a tribute to Clinton's eyes. His message was a response to his reading this post about when I saw Clinton at Macy's in Indianapolis:


I just stumbled across your blog while searching for information on a Macy's appearance I'm doing in Seattle and had to write to you! (Excuse all the exclamation points! I'm very excited!!!)

Thank you for the best laugh I've had all week. Your play-by-play account of the fashion show I hosted in Indianapolis last September was hilarious! I mean, honestly, you've got a flair for narration that is all too rare in the blogosphere.

I CANNOT BELIEVE my uvula is on display for the entire world to see OR that your friend actually mentioned OUT LOUD that I have hair on the backs of my hands OR that you noticed someone unscrewing my water bottles for me! (I ask them to do that because they're awkward to unscrew while holding a microphone.)

I am laughing so hard as I type this, by the way.

Keep up the great work. I'm going to read more of your blog right now.

All the best,

So I replied, "Oh Clinton, P-shaw," and then I died.

Actually, I did reply, and then Clinton replied to my reply!


First of all, take a deep breath. It's just me. If it makes you feel any better, I'm wearing a ratty old hoodie and ripped cargo pants as I type.

Actually, that's a lie. I'm wearing an Armani suit and you should be very, very intimidated!

Girl, you are a comedic genius. I was laughing like the village idiot at your Dave Barry story -- and it wasn't even about ME. You have a true gift with words -- though I'm sure you work hard at it also.

I sent a link to your blog to my friend and she wrote back, "Oh, my God, I am crying right now!" She particularly liked the photos of THE BACK OF MY HEAD. Thank you. You should know that if I had visible dandruff or a booger or ear wax in any of those pictures, I would have freaked out like there's no tomorrow.

Well, I won't keep you. I'm sure you have more celebrity uvula spotting to do. And I have to go make the world a more fabulous place, one structured jacket at a time.


I did not reply to this because, really, people, I can't be encouraging Clinton's crush on me.

And I'm pretty sure if Clinton was wearing a ratty hoodie that every tatter was situated just-so.

Can you believe he said, "It's just me"? (Duh! Snort! "Just me!")

And if per chance you (Clinton) should ever see this, rest assured I would never have published a picture of an errant booger. I've got your back, figuratively and digitally speaking.

Clinton is witty and fun and debonair and classic and gracious. One of the things I love most about What Not to Wear is when Clinton's genuine interest in the participant's self-esteem emerges. You can't fake real kindness, and it seems to exude from him. The clever, urbane sophisticate has a heart o' gold. (Aww.)

In sum, Clinton Kelly turned my day from crappy to happy. He does that for a lot of people on a regular basis. But today--it was my turn! Thanks for making one of those days immensely better, Clinton. It was fun, but now you've got to go on with your life without me. You have your structured jackets to peddle; I have my monthly newsletters to produce. But we'll always have this moment--you know, the one where you found me, we shared exclamation points, you flattered me, and then I set you free ... (!)


Melanie said...

Oh, girl. I don't know how you kept from peeing your pants. Or maybe you did and you're just being polite. :>)

Darlene R. said...

that is SO STINKIN' AWESOME! I my goodness I would have totally freaked! Please tell me you printed that out!

BTW, I mentioned you in my post yesterday. Hope that's alright :)

Teri said...

Oh Linda, at first I thought this post was going to be about maybe wearing two different colored boots to work again...I am SO glad it worked out differently!


And you know what? He is right, you ARE witty and full of all of the wonderfulness that he said!

Enjoy this day girlfriend. You have earned it!

Clinton and American Idol...could this day GET any better???

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

Wohoo! Congrats! :) I had my thrill of a day a couple weeks ago when my pretend BFF Mandisa (from AI, of course!) left me a comment on my blog!! I was bouncing off the ceiling!

Kelly @ Love Well said...

You get out with your bad self. Slap your grandma and all that jazz.

Oh. Wait. Northern humor.

Clearly, Clinton knows funny. And you are the real deal, my friend. You bring it every day.

So how are you going to incorporate that e-mail int your conversations tomorrow? "Well, as Clinton said...."

Alana said...

That is CRAZY. Crazy. But very fun!

Love your new look, by the way!

Roxanne said...

Oh, Linda, congratulations!!!!!! I'm sure Clinton would pick me and my wardrobe to absolute pieces, but seeing as how he OBVIOUSLY ADORES YOU, that's just fine by me.

I am glad to see that a celebrity is echoing what we bloggers have known all along--YOU ROCK!!!!!

Kelley at Aroma of Joy said...

I told ya you are the blogger Queen! And I get to be your roomate!! How cool does that make me?

Hey, I have something for you at my site so if you get a chance come by and pick it up!!


Susanne said...

Oh my goodness! I'm fainting for you and laughing at the thought of you "walking" up your girl's leg in excitement. And He saw what we've known all along about ya! You're a rockin' writer!

Kati said...

I hate you.

But, in a good way.


A Stone Gatherer said...

Well I am so happy for you! I'm sorry to say I don't have a clue of who he is! That is my sad non-urbane life!!!

Carol said...

See what happens when you re-design your blog! You start attracting all kinds of celebrity readers. Next thing you know Hilary will be asking you to become her speech writer! Congratulations! That would have made my year!
Carol (I Throw Like a Girl)

Kim said...

How cool, funny, wonderful and exciting! I'm grinning like an idiot I'm so happy for you!

Ann said...

Linda that is so exciting! And I do agree, Clinton is so genuine.

Tanja said...

Oh, I have to admit I don't know who he is either. I am the antithesis of all things fashionable. Although I have friends who will occasionally kindly let me know when I've pushed the envelope just a little too far and gone straight from "I don't care what people think" to "Good Night! What was I thinking?" I loved reading about your interchange with him though. Made me feel like I knew you each a bit better. I'm not sure if I should be a bit frightened at this dual hero worship. :-)

Cyndy said...

Get. Out. Of. Town!!!!!!!!
How exciting!!!!Squeeeaaaal! Actual contact with a real celebrity....and a totally nice one too. (grin) :D

Nise' said...

Awesome! Just yesterday I was shopping with my mother and said, "Clinton says...Stacy says..." She (who lives in Alaska) asks, who are they?....(after I picked up my jaw off the floor) Hello!? She is getting a treat in watching the WNTWs that I recorded!

Teresa said...

That is TOTALLY too cool!! :) WOW!!! Can't believe it!! Enjoy the celeb status!!

Jenny said...

As I was reading your blog I couldn't figure out who he was. Does that show how TV deprived I am! Once you mentioned the show I knew then, my oldest daughter watches them all the time.

I may have to join her this weekend. I'm off to find the post that inspired him.

I'm visiting from Kelley's by the way, and I love coffee too!

Tina said...

That is a fantastic story! I love it! I'm all that with the exclamation points too! So! Cool!

(((( jealous ))))

Jennifer said...

That is so incredibly awesome. Now I get to say, "this blogger I read, well she got an e-mail from Clinton Kelly!" Haha.

Perhaps if I write a blog about Paula Deen, she'll find me through google and decide she needs to be my mama. I love that woman!!

Congrats on your celeb e-mail!

Debbie said...

Oh my gosh!!!!! I don't even know what else to say....


Cindy Swanson said...

Linda, that is FANTASTIC!!!!! That's enough to lift a woman from the blogosphere into the stratosphere. :)

I don't always get to watch "What Not to Wear," but I was watching it the other night and thinking how funny Clinton is. No wonder you're so jazzed!

Mocha with Linda said...

Well, how can any of our comments in your inbox even make a ripple?

I won't even mention that I didn't even know who he was.

Next thing you know, a presidential campaign is going to be quoting some of your "Clinton is. . . " compliments! LOL

Erin said...

Oh my GOSH!!! I can't believe it! That's incredible! Well you deserve that, you really are hilarious. I love reading your blog and I'm so happy for you that you had such a fabulous moment : )

Fully Alive...Ready to Smile

Teresa said...

That was AWESOME! I had to go back and read your Macy's post since I wasn't reading your blog back then. Too funny! And I love What Not to Wear! How cool was that for Clinton to write to you?!!! It was good of you to let him down gently though.

After reading your post I kept having the song "Best Day Ever" from Sponge Bob run through my head "it's the best day ever, best day ev-er."

annie's eyes said...

WOW, Linda, I mean WOW!!!!!!!!!
So very cool, your new bff! And you deserved every word of his accolades! You're going to need to see if he can share his publicist soon. Love you,

marina said...

Linda, I always told you are gifted
you have such a way with words and humor!! that's why everyone Love's you we always come back for more of linda's blog!!! I AM SOOOOOOOOO
HAPPY FOR YOU!!!girl you are bless!! marina

Susan said...

Oh. My. Gosh! That is just so very cool, Linda! I had a response from an author whose book I reviewed and I about freaked out over that...trust me...I'd really be jumping if I were you!

What a sweet thing for him to do. And yes, you ARE a wonderful writer!


:-) Susan

Tammy said...

OK...I'm in shock here, and it didn't even happen to me!
Actually, I'm not in shock on the other hand...you DO have a flair for comedy that so impressed me the first time I "met" you...
And by the way, when I first read that Dave Barry story from your archives, I was so impressed that I had my mom read it, too!...so he has good taste! (Heehee, as if you had to be told that your Clinton Kelly has good taste!)

But he's right about it being "only him"...he puts on his Armani jacket one sleeve at a time, you know.

First thing you know, he's going to get you your own show...just remember us little bloggers when you hit the big time, OK?

Seriously, Congrats, Linda!!! :D

PJ said...

I'm sitting here screaming. (Can't you hear me!!) You are going to be FAMOUS. Just wait til he invites you on the show!!!! Your site meter will be going crazy now. Just contemplate that!!! You clever, clever girl!

We're all basking in the reflected glory. I really must go find my Armani lounging pajamas now. (They do make them, don't they??)


Ruthie said...

Unbelievable. That's so fun. And you know, really, it's like an almost brush with greatness for me, so I'm experiencing second-hand thrills.

Lynn said...

How cool is that! Pretty soon you'll be getting offers to write for a sitcom!

I found your blog last year and quickly realized you live in Muncie, which is where I am from and you graduated from Southside and so did I! I graduated in 1984.

Come visit my blog when you can.

Heth said...

I'm hyperventilating FOR you. Your day really did turn from crappy to happy and this was a hilarious post to read.

Lois E. Lane said...

OK, I've had one of the busiest weeks of my life and am just now reading about your "encounter." Congratulations!!! That is TOO fun. How sweet and down-to-earth of him. I can't imagine how tickled you were. Some day, remind me to tell you the story of a "Friends" producer e-mailing me about a column I wrote...

The Preacher's Wife said...

This is so stinkin' awesome.

Reminds me of my delight when Cara Kooney emailed me. She was the Egyptologist who did the History Channel documentary on Queen Hatshepsut.

Fascinating, huh?

I'm so glad you have these emails to sustain you during crap days. Could you give ole Clinton my address in case he's just looking for a sad sack preacher's wife to cheer up? :)

Love ya!


p.s. Did you get the Life Savors emails?

fAiThFuL cHiCk said...

I am SO living vicariously through you right now. Are you freaking kidding me?! Clinton is my pretend big brother. I triple heart him and his structured jackets.

This is so ever lovin' cool.

Jennifer, Snapshot said...

I love Clinton Kelly--have a little married woman crush on him myself. How cool of him to email you.

Phyllis said...

just found your blog...you are funny and ummm, wow, famous?! i adore clinton and stacey. i am jealous you got to meet him...or at least see him in person, blog about it and then be contacted personally.

I'll be back. =) BTW~ you and your daughters are beautiful. I can hardly wait to do such fun girly stuff with my own daughter. (okay, truthfully I am enjoying this stage too, but I would really like to get potty-training out of the way.)

skoots1mom said...

Cool, I'm getting to be number 40 on the CLINTON COMMENTS...
woooooooow! I'm a fan, too, and watch them almost daily while I get my daily veggies in my lunch salad. I could feel you blushing as I read...wasn't he sweet to be so sincere in his words. He's one of those guys you really want to sit down and have a Coke with...or a cup of coffee. I so totally agree with his keen insight of your wonderful, God-given ability...for you are truly blessed in your ability to write it and we not only feel it but we can see it and almost touch it. Keep it up!

SunnyGirl said...

Hello!!! I am new here in Blogger, and when I read your Blog I was in shock! you are so luck!! Clinton sent to you a message ^^ Obvioubsly I feel a "little" envy about your luck, but I am so happy to hear that he sent messages to his fans ^^!!
(Clinton...I am waiting for your message too, probably I am not so funny, but anyway...you can say me hello ^^)
A lot of kisses & I hope he follow sending messages to your wonderful blog!

Dani said...

I know this is months old, but I posted on my blog about this.... I still am shocked that you got an email from CLINTON!!!

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Dani, bless your heart for commenting after all this time! I have tried to get to your blog, but I can't for some reason. I hope you see this because it's fun to enjoy it all over again new with someone!