Monday, April 14, 2008

Help Me, Dr. Phil & the Winner of the Devotional Book

I hate technology. Because I have no techknowledgy. Thus, I know it's hard to see in the screen shot above, but the winner of Lisa Bergren's The Busy Mom's Devotional: 10 Minutes a Week to a Life of Devotion is none other than Cindy Swanson of:

Here is a snippet I stole from Cindy's profile: I am a radio announcer and voice-over artist by occupation. I love to read and write, can't live a day without music, dream of visiting Ireland and Scotland, and can't imagine life without a personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe. Cindy is a mom of three adult children and one grandbaby boy.

Cindy's blog is different from the average mom-blog.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.
(Mom blogs, that is.)

I myself am of the mom-blogger ilk. I'm just saying, she's one of those multi-gifted, well-rounded, interesting people whose blog is fun to read, even though her children are too big to be saying cute things, and her grandson is too little to be saying cute things. So she writes about other stuff. Like LOST!!! And other deeper stuff, too. She's the bomb-diggity. Enjoy the book, Cindy!

And now on to serious marital matters.

Dear Dr. Phil,

Will you tell me if this is a "deal breaker?":

Yesterday, my husband, under the guise of helping our daughter critique her own hip-hop moves for an upcoming competition, set up our video camera on a tripod so that she could tape herself dancing. So far, so good.

After he helped Daughter critique herself, however, unbeknownst to me, he left the camera on and pointed it toward a pass-through space (like a picture window) between our family room and kitchen, where I was obliviously hacking away at some ground beef in a skillet. (My cooking noises approximate those of steel mill laborers in Allentown, PA.)

The result is a very long, very boring and very unflattering video of me in my worst clothes "cooking" (hammering) a meal, including taping all of my peccadilloes and idiosyncrasies, such as habitually clearing my throat and turning to walk to the refrigerator, forgetting what I wanted and then whipping back around like a Solid Gold Dancer. But the piece de resistance is an impromptu loud and off-key rendition of this:

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose?

The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares
So go downtown, things'll be great when you're
Downtown - no finer place, for sure
Downtown - everything's waiting for you

After a while (this is what he claims) he "forgot" it was taping and left it on me while he and Daughter went to retrieve a book from a friend. In other words, I was not alone in my house when I thought I was. The camera was watching me like a peeping Tom. What if I had picked a booger? What if I had picked a wedgie? What if I had taken a swig of the Worcestershire sauce right out of the bottle?!

I feel so ... violated, Dr. Phil.

So please tell me, is this a deal-breaker, and if it's not, what is the best way to get revenge?

Everyone should be able to belt out "Downtown" in her own home without fear of being put on Youtube . [Not my real name.]


cajunquilter said...

Oh no Linda, so sorry but I did LOL. See I could be caught doing the same sort of thing around here if I thought I was alone lol. Well maybe not Downtown, but something equally as humiliating lol.

thanks for the laugh. As for revenge, I say catch him when he least expects it and see what he sings when no one is around lol.

BeverlyDru said...

The bomb-diggity, huh? I didn't know anyone else (besides me) on the planet who uses words like that.
I think some serious revenge is in order for the "I Spy" video. Or recompense is even better. He owes you - big time. : )

Cindy Swanson said...

I'm so excited! I hardly ever win anything. It's really appropriate too...even though my kids are grown and I just have one still at home, I still qualify as a "busy mom," so I know I'll enjoy the devotional.

Thanks also for the kinds words. About "Lost"...did you hear that the season finale is going to be three hours long, but they're going to air one hour of it on one night, skip a week, then air the last two hours? At least, that's the way I understand it. Here's a link:

Teri said...

Hmmmmm. Linda. I have to tell you something.

When you put the "What flower are you?" quiz on your blog I turned out to be a Daffodil. (Just like you.) Then the shoe quiz? I never posted my results because I thought, by chance if you read my blog you would think I was trying to be you. (Yep, Cowboy Boot.) SO, you might be able to understand tic I developed as I read your blog this morning. Because not only have I been known to drop a "bomb-diggity" in my day, but I have also been quite known for breaking out in random song at just about any moment. But mostly while cooking.
At least you weren't using the spatula as a microphone...or where you?
As for revenge? Wow, that will have to be a big one!

Susanne said...

I want to know the Youtube link, Jorge. Let me know when you've got it up! ;v)

Melanie said...

Secretly taping bathroom noises would be the ultimate revenge. :>)

Tina said...

that. is. hysterical.

will you post the video? :)


Lelia Chealey said...

You always crack me up when I visit here. I'll have to search for Linda on You never know what you're family is doing behind your back. As you write about them they're posting videos about you.
Thank you so much for your sweet comments on my blog to Alyssa & about Amiyah. Your so kind & Alyssa hangs on every word of encouragement sent her way.
Thanks for blessing me with your blog my friend. It is definitely your ministry.
Love ya,

annie's eyes said...

Well, no one likes to be laughed at at their expense, so sorry for my, ahem, hysterical but quiet snickering, in case a camera is watching. You better get him back---good! Keep us posted. I have no doubt your mind is already clicking. Smiles again to thank you for. Annette

Darlene R. said...

Oh, I want to see that! Post it, post it!!

Becky said...

That is hilarious!

It does cause me to pause and think about the type of person I am when nobody is looking!

We'd love to see you belting out that song, though, lol!

Fiddledeedee (It Coulda' Been Worse) said...

Made me laugh out loud.

Darlin'. You are the main preparer of their food. If you can't think of a creative way to "even the playing field", then we need to have a long chat.

I am The Queen of Revenge in my kitchen. No one dares to mess with me. I'm also a light sleeper. The rest of them are not. Nuff said.

Debbie said...

Oh my goodness! While reading I went back and forth between laughing and think how awful it would be if I got video taped! I'm betting the "young'uns" you work with can come up with a great revenge plot. I feel I should call them that since I was distracted in the middle of your blog by singing "Downtown" and knowing all the words.

marina said...

me too I keep sing downtown!!LOL!!
Linda, you need to get him back on these one I know you and you are already thinking of some kind of revenge !! keep us posted,
"downtown is waiting for you"
keep singing,marina

Michelle said...

Not Dr Phil today please..couldn't you have picked Dr Laura? Phil is in my doghouse. His staff bailed out one of those cheerleader girls who beat another girl last week and put the video on YouTube......for a story. When she was originally arrested she giggled and asked if they were really going to arrest her, she couldn't miss practice.

As to that video camera......who's soul do I have to sell (you don't expect me to sell mine, do you) to get a copy of that video????????

Ann said...

Hahahaha! It must be so fun at your house :)

Jenny said...

That is funny! I can't even imagine it, you may enjoy it in few years.

The other day we were cleaning some boxes and I found some pictures I went and had made with my best friend...Glamour Shots!

Do you remember those, oh the make-up, the feather thing around my neck, what was I thinking? Who did I think I could give those too? My kids about choked their selves laughing so hard! I need to destroy them, I can just see after I'm dead my great great grandkids finding them and thinking, Granny must be something!

Have a great evening ~

The Preacher's Wife said...

That was so Juliette...:))