You've seen lists like this; you know, humorous ones denoting the subtle and not-so-subtle differences between men and women:
Why It's Good to Be a Man
Your last name stays put.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Your underwear is $9.95 for a three-pack.
You never have strap problems in public.
You can never be pregnant.
Uh, screeeeech to a head-against-the-dashboard halt on that one, mes amies.
Historically, that last assertion has always been unequivocally true. And maybe, in a technical sense, it still is, but recently Oprah featured the first pregnant male. His name, formerly Tracy, is now Thomas Beattie, and although he has switched to other team, so to speak, he retained his internal female network, thus allowing him to technically claim to be male and also "with child."
Think about that, girlfriends. That means he has been living as a guy but ... continuing to have periods. Now I ask you, if you're gonna switch to maledom, why retain what has been known for centuries as "the curse?"
To have a baby, of course.
Let me digress long enough to say that in moments like these, I feel like Britney Spears in that famous video clip where she keeps saying, "Huh?" "Is it really possible for people to time-travel-speed?" "Huh?" "Is that possible? To time travel...?" "Yes it is, Kevin. I think other people are ahead of us." I know how you feel, Britney.
Anyway, it was not a pretty sight, people.
I confess I stopped long enough to watch most of this train wreck. Here's a snippet, not verbatim, of a conversation between Oprah and Thomas:
He said something like, "I don't want to be defined by this. This (pregnancy) is a process."
Oprah replied: "I get that. I've read A New Earth."
By the way, I noticed on one commercial break that Nature Made Liquid Soft Gels is sponsoring Oprah's web class with Eckhart Tolle. Their tagline: "Fuel Your Greatness."
Oh, people. It was not my greatness that was fueled, but it was my "rant tank" which was filled to the rim. You may think I went off here, but I actually reined myself in.
And so to readjust the acidic levels in my physiognomous "mean face" and re-adjust my psyche after this enlightening moment, I now present for your and my viewing pleasure, Dunkin' Donuts' commercial entitled, "He'll Make a Great Father."