How Not to Make a Good First Impression, or a new TLC Show, "What Not To Be"
The other day, I met someone for the first time who said, "You know, you're a lot different in person than you are on your blog. I'm kind of ... surprised."
Me: "Really? How so?"
New-Person: "You're much more bold and confident on your blog. I expected to meet someone with a BIG personality. You're much more ... subdued in person."
With a sudden, intense desire to appear confident, bold and more interesting than the wet tissue paper I had just pulled off my straw, I replied with BIG personality and tremendous wit: "Really?"
New-Person: "Yeah. You just come across so much ... more ... um, sure of yourself on your blog. I don't know. I just thought that when I met you, you'd be more ... nevermind."Mouse Me: "Oh. Sorry."
New Person: "That's OK. Don't apologize."
Me, pulling left contact out because it folded up and stuck to my eyeball like Saran wrap at exactly the moment I needed to feel confident: "OK. Sorry."
Question(s):
Do you think you have the same personality both on and off your blog?
Question 2: Have you ever made a less-than-stellar first impression?
Question C: I have an appointment next Tuesday for a new haircut. Should I cancel it?
Bonus Question for Extra Credit: If you and I met at She Speaks, and I appeared to be way, way, waaaay "less confident" in person than I am on this blog, would you dump me for Bambi?
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36 comments:
Question(s):
Do you think you have the same personality both on and off your blog? I come off much more confident in my blog than in real life. God is helping me learn to bridge that gap! (Confident Woman by Joyce Meyer)lol
Question 2: Have you ever made a less-than-stellar first impression? continuously! but less often than a few years ago...*sigh*
Question C: I have an appointment next Tuesday for a new haircut. Should I cancel it?Do not cancel your appt, just walk in as your blog personality!lol Think about it before you go and OWN it!!!!
Bonus Question for Extra Credit:
If you and I met at She Speaks, and I appeared to be way, way, waaaay "less confident" in person than I am on this blog, would you dump me for Bambi? Forget Bambi!LOL I wouldn't dump you. We'd exchange phone numbers and start a new blog: First Impressions NOT Always True Impressions!!
My personality is pretty much the same... OCD. I write long run on sentences because that's how I talk :) Usually I'm talking about my kids or Jesus... same way on my blog
I'm certain I've rubbed a few people the wrong way the first time I met them. I obsess about it way more than I should.
Hmmm... to cut or not to cut. I'm dealing with the same question.
I would never dump you, you are my constant ;-)
I think I'm much funnier in pixels or dpi than I am in real life. And then there's the man-hand thing, and (gasp!) I have a wandering eye....
So, yeah, I'm much less confidant in person. Dump you for Bambi? Never!
(p.s.--I find the older I get, the less I seem to care about making a good impression)
You make me laugh! I'm pretty sure I come across as funnier on my blog that I am in real life! When blogging, it just comes out better than when I'm actually talking...I would have come up with the same witty answer as "really?"
But...it's still me...and your blog is still you, just another side of you :) Keep it up, I love it!!
I don't know if I come across differently on my blog than I do "in person." I'll have to ask my friend -- I only have one close friend who reads my blog regularly (that I know of). I did have a younger mom who asked me to give the devotional at a baby shower (for the first time ever!!!! Scary!) say that she thought I would have a lot of wisdom. I thought, "Who, me?!!"
I have definitely made unfavorable first impressions, and then felt self-conscious around that first ever afterward. I can't remember any specifics, but I do remember that feeling.
But I don't think that not appearing to have a "big" personality is anything to apologize for. That kind of personality can turn some people off. I have always thought of you as having a quiet sense of humor, active but not bombastic. And that suits me fine. :)
Let me answer the Bonus question first. Never, ever, ever.
I'm not sure whether I'm quite the same. I know I don't say or talk about about certain things on the blog that I might in real life with people I know face to face. I don't know, we've chatted. Am I the same?
Less than stellar first impressions? Frequently!
New hair do? Go for it. You only live once.
I would bet we're all a little more confident sounding in our blogs than in real life because we have a delete key available. As in...we have more time to consider what it is were saying, review it, tweak it, etc. (I've already made several corrections and rephrased at least one sentence in this comment alone!)
#2 Absitively, posolutely!
#C Only if you reschedule right away. I canceled an appointment a few weeks ago without rescheduling and I keep putting it off and OY! the roots are showing!
EXTRA CREDIT: Definitely not. Because I would probably be too nervous just to walk up and say hi beecause you get way more comments than I do.
A1: I think I am more bold on my blog, although I think I am funnier in real life. (On the blog my humor just seems contrived, in real life it just happens.)
A2: One of my best friends told me that when she first met me she thought to herself "I will NEVER be freinds with that girl..." I guess that would be a stellar first impression!
AC: With the price of a salon haircut these days, if you are going to go, make it worth your while! If you are just going to trip it...cancel the thing. (I happen to like long hair...mine is short right now:()
Extra Credit: I will not be at She Speaks...but I imagine there will be little dumping for Bambi there. In fact, I would be so bold to say that there probably wont BE a Bambi within a hundred miles of she speaks...so you are probably safe.
1) I'd like to think so, but probably not.. :/
2) Easily
C) Go for it! It's your hair! Express yourself.
Bonus: Umm... since I don't think I would be at a "She Speaks"... and I am already spoken for, and I have never met "Bambi" - I doubt it. I will still visit your blog. :)
sort of, definately yes, no way, never.
* It appears I may come off more up-beat on my blog than I am in person. This year has been HARD and I spend a lot of time just quiet and hurting, but I don't blog that crap1
2- Probably, and they probably never wanted to talk to me again.
C- Don't cancel it! I know a girl whose hair looked a lot like your photos and she just got the CUTEST cut and it made her look younger and hip and cool! :)
Bonus- I'm not a huge fan of overly-confident people (SYESHA!)
I will never dump you for Bambi. She's got nothing on you.
I will be meeting you at She Speaks, and no, I would never dump you for Bambi. Tramp.
And Linda, I'm rather shy in person. We can just hang out and stare at each other's shoes. It'll be great.
oh linda, i would never dump you for bambi!
yes, i often make a less than stellar first impression. i'm like deep waters,fine wine, and fine belgium chocolate. people need to savor their experience with me, or something like that.
i think i come across much differently on my blog than i do in real life. i'm not very good at verbal, but i excel (sometimes) at the written word. i allow more of my "me-ness" to show on my blog, i think. in real life, i don't talk about those things, except maybe to BFF, my sister.
i've been thinking of a new haircut too, for summer, you know, so hot out here in idaho.
1) I do think I have the same personality, the thing is I find that most people I meet are big talkers, and not very good listeners, so a lot of people I know just don't know me that well because they spend a lot of time talking and not listening. That's the beauty of a blog - *I* get to talk!
2) I don't think I have a very good sense of how people perceive me, so there probably have been times I made bad first impressions that I don't even realize!
C) No - don't cancel your appt. - get your hair cut. And while you're at it, treat yourself to a manicure and pedicure. And you probably could use a new handbag too, right? 'Cause you want to be feeling confident, ya know! :-)
Bonus) If I met you and you seemed waaaaay less confident in person I'd offer to go with you to kick Bambi's a$$, to you know, help you feel more confident. :-)
I think that through writing my blog I've become more of the person I portray on it. I was definitely more shy when I started my blog. I think the affirmation that people still like me after they have seen what I'm like on my blog made me more confident. I've also been told that I write just like I talk, so I guess that says something.
I think I probably make a less than stellar first impression 90% of the time : ) Until you actually know me, people probably think I'm a bit crazy.
No you should not cancel your appointment. Go for it and then post a picture of your new do!
I would never dump you for Bambi if you appeared less confident upon first meeting you. I think a lot of us appear differently until we are sure we won't be rejected for showing our true colors.
I'd say my personality is the same but I am MOST bold with people close to me. I can't be this bold on my blog or I'd have weird stalkers or something.
We are all different on our blog. I think part of it is perception. The blog is just one small part of us and we can't "talk back" to commenters.
As for the haircut, depends... :>)
What are you thinking of doing?
My friends (both online and off) seem to enjoy my blog and my personality in real life and blogland. My husband and son "Just don't get it." So I may be creating a second life, just like that new online game world... Hope not.
I like you. I think I'd like you regardless of your hairstyle. :)
My personality is the same. But you're only seeing part of me on my blog, a side effect of having only 24 hours in each day. Maybe that's where the disconnect stems from.
I spit on Bambi for you.
I'm gonna have to hold that Bambi thing really close like a great card hand and use it sparingly because I got this overwhelming response that feels ... good. You all are so fun and great.
Ummm.... your brain works too much like mine. We have question 2 and question C. Too funny.
1)Blogging is another expression of our personality, me thinks. I actually think before I talk on my blog so I'm sure it comes across as more organized than I am.
2)I am certain I have made a less-than-desirable first impression more times than I care to know about.
C) Go for the hair change. You can always change back. And you'll still be thinking about it next month if you don't just do it.
BONUS** Bambi is out. WE choose Linda!
1) I think personally and on my blog I am the same person, at work.....people really think I am a bitch sometimes. I am an accounting manager Lots of collections), it is normal for people to see me that way.
2) Lol, you're kidding, right? MANY!
3)DO NOT CANCEL THAT APPT. I just recently went RED and SHORT and I love it. New haircuts are balm for the soul!
Bonus: NEVER!
Linda you are so awesome! I'm going to have to ask my mom if I sound like me on my blog, I actually don't know. And I excel at making bad first impressions. I am a master at saying the wrong thing at the wrong time because I get so stinkin nervous. And the haircut? Go for it! It's fun, unless it turns out yucky, it'll grow out quite a bit in just two little weeks. And if you're way less confident in real life than on your blog, I say so waht! Bambi will never win. Nevah.
Okay. I am EXACTLY the same on my blog as I am in real life. I know that because I began it for my friends--just like four--and even if I hadn't I'm pretty much a "what you see is what you get" kind of gal. That being said, I think if I met you, you'd be GREAT whether you were bold or shy or needed to unroll your contact or blow your nose or whatever. That would happen because I'm a conversation carrier. . .and hijacker. . .so if you're shy--you're in good hands with me. And if you're not shy, we'd just spend our time together talking over each other and jumping spastically from topic to topic.
I will never, ever, ever leave you for Bambi. You had me at Monkey Nut.
Pinky swears.
Do you think you have the same personality both on and off your blog? I am much more bold on my blog. Nobody can tell that it takes me 30 minutes to think of something even remotely witty. Oh well, I guess you all know now! In real life, I am not really quick-witted. It's hit-and-miss with me.
Question 2: Have you ever made a less-than-stellar first impression? Oh, I'm sure I have!
Question C: I have an appointment next Tuesday for a new haircut. Should I cancel it? Nope
Bonus Question for Extra Credit: If you and I met at She Speaks, and I appeared to be way, way, waaaay "less confident" in person than I am on this blog, would you dump me for Bambi? Absolutely not! I love a person who can't help but laugh when someone else explodes a natural gas emission! :p
linda I am the one that is not confient can't you tell,,
if you meet me I really am shy but I really feel lesser than I always have so why do I blog I don't know maybe I am trying to have more confidence in myself.
with me what you read is what you get and my feeling get hurt easliy.
anyways I am just rambling,
Bambi no way I would never dump you and as for your hair go for it I would,hugs,marina
Dump you for Bambi? Never. :)
And....however you come across on your blog, or in person, doesn't change the fact that you have a beautiful heart....doesn't matter if your personality is "loud", or "subdued", or any other word used to describe you.
I think I'm pretty much the same on my blog as in real life, but, good question...I'll have to ask my family and best friend about that one.
No.1: Yes, I'm exactly the same on my blog as in real life. (See maniac video on Reasons to buy a mac) Yep. That's me.
No. 2: Who hasn't?
No. 3: Cut it! It will always grow back if you don't like it, but it's fun to change it up a little. Spoken like a girl who just got her hair cut. ;)
No. 4: Are you going to She Speaks? We have to meet! No way would I dump you!
1) Evidently I am much nicer and more interesting on my blog because I swear, people who have known me for YEARS suddenly want "let's get together soon!" time now that they read my blog. Years. Now I am cool. So I think I am way cooler & nicer in bloglife. Probably because of that delete button. And if a post sounds snarky, you can always go back and nice it up, which you can't do irl, unfortunately.
Last week I was at a VBS meeting and was really grumpy, had a fight with the husband, exhausted, looked like crap and a girl there said "You're Missy, I recognize you from your blog!" and I was like, oh, crud. Here I am with almost no makeup on and looking like I have a hangover. There's one less hit on the sitemeter.
2) I am all ready to make a horrible impression on you in about a month.
3) No way man. You know what, I am dreaming of you as a brunette. I think you should go darker. All the stars are doing it! Like, um, Britney Spears...anyway brunettes have more fun.
4) I don't think Bambi will be at She Speaks but I wouldn't dump you anyway.
PS - thank you thank you thank you for losing word verification! That brings me unspeakable joy.
1) Well, I'm a pretty reserved kind of person. If I dont have anything to say, I wont say anything...which is most of the time (and why I dont have something to blog about every day). But I'm a lot better with the written word than speaking words so I know I'm somewhat different on and off the blog.
2) Oh yeah. Lots of times. Chronic foot in mouth syndrome.
C) Dont cancel it!
EC) I'd never ever ever drop you for Bambi or anyone else (man hands or not)! Actually, if you appeared less confidient I'd know you're for real. :o)
(PS sorry for running up your site meter stats...I got a phone call while I was trying to type this)
Non-numbered Question: Not sure. The advantage of a blog is I have time to think. I love being witty (and too sarcastic) but I don't always think quick enough. The other advantage is I'm outgoing with friends, introverted with strangers. So the blog has been a non-intimidating way to meet people without feeling threatened by the idle chit-chat that I'm so bad at.
Q2: Way more than I want to know.
QC: Nah. No guts, no glory! (Advised by the person who has had the same basic style for over 10 years!)
Bonus: The Bambis of this world make me crazy. On the other hand, twin Lidnas have to stick together. I won't be at She Speaks, but I sure wish you would come to San Antonio!!
BTW, I'm posting a song for you tomorrow. . . .
I'm so glad to have found your blog again! I lost it due to a cleansing of our computer where everything had to be wiped off, but I digress.
No to all the questions.
Especially the new 'do, those are almost always fun unless you don't trust your hairdresser.
Probably I should have read the questions more carefully as I have definately made less than a stellar first impression.
EVERYone is more bold and confident on their blog. It's a rule....and you never think you're actually going to meet these people. It is hard to come across as confident and funny and bold right off the bat...you have to check the other person out and see if they can handle it...right? lol ;)
I would NEVER dump you for Bambi. She's a tramp.
Also, I think I am much better on paper. It's all the editing. I get to erase dumb thoughts and start over. I make less than stellar first impressions all the time - at least in my mind. I'm always more bold on my blog. I have time to think things through before I say them, and no one is looking at me while I'm taking my sweet time formulating my thoughts, and backspacing. :)
It's always nerve-wracking too when people realize I have a blog. I think their expectations of me go way up, and that just makes me as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockers. I can barely live up to my own good posts, let alone their lofty expectations. Personally I think my personality is the same, just less hindered and self-conscious on my blog.
I wish I COULD meet you - and I promise, no matter how you are in person, I would still lurve you.
I'm pretty sure you'd think "shallow" if you met me in person, and probably more opinionated, unfortunately. I have that whole conversation pictured in my head, and, I'd bet anything it was a guy you were talking to. Of course we are different in person--that's because we're complicated like that! A new day, a new Linda--get your hair cut. It often makes me feel more confident (when I like it.) Love, Annette
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