Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Gatlinburg, TN

It's 9 pm, and I'm sitting in a three-story cabin looking out a picture window at the Great Smoky Mountains. Wait a minute--I think that's a billboard of Dolly Parton.

Yes, we are here at long last. It was a looong drive, mainly that last 1/10th of a mile up the road shaped like spiral pasta that led to this cabin. As soon as we started ascending, I put my hands over my eyes and the plastic bag between my knees because I knew that my luck had run out with the car sickness, my lifelong nemesis.

(By the way, when I was a baby, every time my parents put me in the car, I started crying, much to their aggravation. After I began to talk and/or throw up, they said, "Hey, maybe she's not just a whiny kid after all. Let's stop spanking her!")

Speaking of my mom, I called my mom as requested a few times by her when we arrived here safely, and I announced proudly, "Mom, I'm standing here looking at the Great Smoky Mountains!"

To which she replied, "Well, and you sound like a hillbilly, too."

I was so glad I had called.

I knew we were getting souther and souther when I saw a water tower painted with "Lawrence, Y'All!"

We also saw signs for "Stinky Creek Road," and my sister-in-law, who rode with us, saw a sign and asked, "What's 'toe' 'kye' '20' mean?"

We said, "What?"

She repeated herself, and then we saw the sign again, which actually said, "To KY 20," as in "To Kentucky, 20." So I'm pretty sure she's going to need an interpreter while we're down here.

We also saw two bad wrecks, which didn't make me nervous AT ALL, and we saw the birthplace of the Colonel from KFC.

Now I have lived.

My goal while I'm here is to enjoy myself with the fam, yes, but also to write that first chapter for my She Speaks proposal. Argh.

My other goal is not to gain 10 lbs. so that I can actually fit into my She Speaks clothes, which for some reason, includes a lot of white (don't ask.)

So I will catch ya sometime tomorrow, unless the bears eat me, and really, if I had to choose between bears and that thrill ride up the mountain, I'd choose the bears.

Goodnight, y'all, until tomorra.


Michelle said...

Welcome to Redneckville Linda!

I am so excited for you. The Mountains are GORGEOUS.

I hope you have a blast!

MoodyBlue said...

Have a FABULOUS time!!! I wish I was out near the mountains instead of Jersey. Ugh..LOL

Melanie said...

I have spent many vacations in Gatlinburg. It is where my family visited Fall. :>) Have fun!!!

Darlene R. said...

Vacation, how fun! I hope you have a great time. We don't go for a few weeks yet.
I love Gatlinburg, we went there for our honeymoon along with millions of other newlyweds! It's a fun place.

sara said...

I can't believe that your mom makes you call her too when you travel. My mom always looks at the national weather (never a reality) and worries herself sick until I call......am I going to do that?

I also can't believe that you NEVER had a pedicure!!!! that was always my treat to myself the last day of school before the summer!!!

BTW, college girl has gotten under control and all is well at our house!!!

TIP: stay a way from the chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and cream gravy......your 10 lbs will come in one meal!

Have a grand vacation!

My ADHD Me said...

You're funny. I like your blogs.: )

PJ said...

I'm envious!!! I love Gatlinburg. Haven't been in almost 15 years!! If they still have it...I loved the ski ride thing and one of the mini-golf courses is set up in the mountain... it's really a steep hill to play mini-golf which makes it fun! And ALL of the little shops with antiques (Okay skip the little plastic toilets on a keychain that say "KY") LOL And I could do without all the neon signs in . . . what is the town next door???? Oh...Pigeon Forge!! I took my one and only helicopter ride in Pigeon Forge!! Yep. A real helicopter that looked like it was from the Civil War!!!

Jen said...

And to think you got a pedicure for this.

p.s. I learned after moving down here that the plural of "yall" is "all yall." Just FYI.


Teri said...

I am so sad that you gat car sick. My daughter used to...we are hoping she grew out of it...although, we only a
take her on short trips because of it! Poor girl wishes she knew what the inside of the mall looks like! (I kid...but really.)

Amy Wyatt said...

The bears probably won't bother you... but beware of the racoons. They usually manage to get into the trash cans outside of our cabin when we go there. They are even smart enough to unhook the latch. Make sure you shop at Tanger at Five Oaks. They usually have great deals. I always gain 10 pounds when I go from The Fudgery... so stay away if you want to fit into She Speaks clothes. Looking forward to meeting you there by the way.

Paula (SweetPea) said...

You are hilarious. I enjoy reading your posts. You have a way of story-telling.

Hope you have a productive but restful vacation. I hear ya about choosin' the bears over the mountain ride...heights...ugg!

Karen said...

Oh how I love gatlinburg! And the pancake pantry. Which is probably not the place to go if you don't want to gain 10 pounds. Or spend a lot of money on breakfast. But they have absolutely divine peach pancakes.

Enjoy the mountains!

Mocha with Linda said...

I'm fixin' to wring your neck if you keep makin' fun of us Southern folk.

The Smokies are beautiful. I've been there once years and years ago.

At least you spelled y'all right!

Have fun!!

samurai said...

Praying for you to have a relaxing time, and that you will achieve your other goals.

Fresh Girl said...

Awww, you're in my old neck of the woods! I grew up about an hour or so from Gatlinburg, and we went there for a weekend or two every year. Make sure you drive up on to the mountain and go to Cades Cove and park somewhere by a creek and wade in a stream! Oooo, and maybe hike to Laurel Falls -- beautiful!

Speaking of gaining weight, don't you dare leave without picking up some fudge from one of the candy shops on the main drag. Trust me. ;)

Miscellaneous From Missy said...

Happy writing! :-)

Sonya said...

A family vacaton, sounds great! I'm glad you're there safe and sound. Looking forward to reading some posts on the fun you're having. Only 3 weeks until She Speaks! Crazy times! ;)

Susanne said...

The mountains. You counldn't have picked a more inspiring setting to write that first chapter!

And about all that wonderfully, rich southern food? Just remember: Keep talking while eating. The stomach doesn't know what is going on when the throat is busy doing it's own thing. ;v)

A Stone Gatherer said...

Oh how I'd love to be sitting there on that porch too! Someday I hope to get back down to the Smokies! Have a great time and remember your plastic bag!!!!

Ann said...

Oh fun! I remember as a kid when we went through the Smokies, my mom got car sick a lot too. I sure got a kick out of that sign your sister-in-law misread, I would totally do that too!

Susan said...

Well...you're already home...and I'm catching up (again)! You've been in my FAVORITE place in the world. I love the Smoky Mountains. I dream of living there someday. Gatlinburg, although it's quite a bit more touristy than it used to be, is still a great place to visit.

I had to laugh that you went through Corbin, KY. Don't know if you remember my blog telling about when I figured out at 22 or 23 that KFC was actually MADE in Kentucky! It's one of our favorite signs to pass on the I-75 corridor.