How much writing for She Speaks have I accomplished today?
I revised one sentence.
Note that I didn't say I created one; I just revised one.
How much food have I eaten today?
5 lbs worth of fried chicken and 5 lbs worth of strawberry shortcake, and that's not counting all of the pretzel sauces I sampled at a shop called "All Sauced Up" or the cashew brittle or fudge I sampled. I bought the raspberry pretzel sauce. Two kinds. Just in case I want to open a jar and continue eating in my sleep.
Gatlinburg is not conducive to serious writing, but it is conducive to dreaming.
That is, I did dream last night that I finally got a syndication deal for my column, and I was very excited about that, until I realized that the deal was with my high school newspaper, The Sentinel. That was a little deflating. I can't even get a deal when I create my own universe in my dreams.
By the way, if I don't post in the next day or two, it's because I'm having trouble with the wireless. Apparently, Gatlinburg is not conducive to blogging, either.
I spent almost the entire day shopping down the main drag. There are lots of air brushing shops and wood-burning craft shops and what I like to call the "Fatten Yourself Up Before Your Conference" shops. Surprisingly, there are some adult-oriented shops here, too, with such names as "Sexy Stuf" with one "f," and my favorite, "La La Tina #1," which I'm seriously considering adopting as my new blogging name.
She Speaks Sisters, please note when you see me that a mere three weeks before the conference, I could actually fasten all of my clothes, including my shoes.
Oh, I bet you're wondering about the tat. Yep, I did it. I got a tiny hummingbird on my ankle. -- The henna variety. :) It will wear off before the conference. I did this just to freak out my 21 year-old daughter, who believed me for a few seconds, and that was pretty awesome. But then she said she knew that if it were real, I'd have a bandage or something. But for one, brief shining moment ....
The sad part is, even though it's temporary, I think it's the wildest thing I've ever done. And the worst part is that I'm such a wimp I had to ask the person, "Does this hurt?" and he said, "No, but I can make it hurt if you want me to." But that wasn't good enough. I had to ask, "Is anyone ever allergic to henna?" I'm surprised he didn't write "I am a NERD" on my ankle.
This is what Gatlinburg does to you, people. It strips you of your Internet, lures you with so much food that your brain itself seems to be deep-fried leaving you unable to write or do anything but spend money and eat more, and it makes you think you're Carly Smithson.