Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Gingervitis? And The Office


Gingerbread House Update, Day 67 or something like that:

What an afternoon. Structural defects. (Feel free to toss me a compassionate moan of disappointment here.) Now I know how whoever built the Tower of Pisa felt upon standing back and gaining perspective: Bummer!

My little house did not pass code because after I got both roof slabs on, I realized that one slab was sort of hammock shaped. I believe this happened when I put the cookie sheet in the oven and it went

BOING.


I think the heat warped the pan and thus my slab.

So today, I couldn't stand it anymore. I heated a paring knife over a candle flame and cut that roof right off the complete house! Now remember, I had already shingled the roof, so this was no small feat. I had considered using an electric carving knife, but I was afraid the vibration would jar the piped decorations off. See, I told you this took a lot of engineering thought, and right now, I'm feeling pretty smug.

Long story short, I got it off, I replaced it with a newly-shingled spare slab, and voila! No more Leaning Tower of Gingerbread.

When Jorge came in from work, he saw the devastation of the roof ruins and crumbs, the candle smoke, the blackened knife in my hand, the icing on my face and in my hair, and so the first thing out of his mouth was an incredulous, "You are a maniac! You have 'gingervitis!'"

More riveting updates on the ginger edifice to follow. Ooh, I know. It's too exciting. You should get a full 8 hours sleep before I continue the saga or the adrenaline rush could kill ya.

The Office

You may not watch this show, but I must tell you that if you have ever worked in an office, there was a scene that you would relate to: the filthy office microwave.

People. This is my life.

So the receptionist, Pam, made a sign and posted it on the top of the microwave about cleaning up after one's self after using the microwave. Her co-workers hated this sign.

Guess what. I've posted a sign, too. Oh yes I have. It may not have been worded exactly like Pam's, but I have left one. And now I see, through the writers of this episode, how annoying the sign must have been to my co-workers. Apparently, people hate a sign telling them to clean up after themselves more than they hate exploded pizza in the microwave that they're just about to warm up their coffee in. Go figure.

In my defense, I actually cleaned up other people's mess before I made the sign. So I felt I had some authority to speak. And the sign I left was not so much bossy as sassy:

"Please cover your food before warming because it splatters. And you should clean up after yourself because your mama doesn't work here. Unless your daddy's name is Jorge."

But the best line in the show was Michael Scott explaining that his attempt to frame his hated co-worker, Toby, was dastardly, but necessary: [About framing Toby] "That's so mean. But sometimes, the end justifies the mean."

20 comments:

Becky said...

glad you got your house sound... still waiting anxiously for a picture.

I love the Office. I can't believe you are a signer. LOL!

Mel said...

GINGERVITIS---ROFL!!!! and the sign about your mama not working here, i might try that at the office (only female in the office)...

Can't wait to see your gingerbread house!!!

Melissa said...

I heart you.

Tammy said...

"gingervitis" *snort* *giggle*

Oh how we need photos! ;-)

sara said...

gingervitis! That Jorge is a quick one and that was funny. But no picture?!!!

lmerie said...

I worked for the 4-H office looooonnnnngggg ago. We had a 4-H'er that was entering a local gingerbread house contest - and we were to help. Which became me! Which is reaaaaaallly sad because I am as gingerbread house handicapped as they come. It was the most pitiful gingerbread house ever to grace the world. And yes, she still entered it into the contest with all the beautiful ones - ones like yours sounds - perfect! I envy your ability and perseverance - I would have eaten the leaning tower- muwhahahahaha

Mocha with Linda said...

Great line at the end.

I can't believe you aren't posting pics of the gingerbread frustration du jour. Guess the laptop can't handle that?

Oh, and since I love puns I cracked up over Jorge's gingervitis lines. You two deserve each other!!

Susanne said...

I thought to put your sign on our microwave at home but then realized it wouldn't work because, well, their mama does live here. Sigh.

That Jorge is a pretty funny guy! :vD

Merrie said...

Your patience and ingenuity amaze me!
I sure understand about the office and also the church!
Having pastored (wifed)in many different churches where they use bulletins (yeah, I know - old time)... I got so tired of picking up all the left over bulletins, gum wrappers, and used kleenex (yuck 3X). Over and over I had to pick this up after the morning service before the evening service. I was tempted to put in the bulletin... PLEASE CLEAN UP YOUR TRASH AS YOU LEAVE THE SANCTUARY. YOU MOTHER DOES NOT LIVE HERE! I didn't... but wanted to! I would blog about this, but then I would appear "mean"... haha

Jules from "The Roost" said...

I don't have the patience to do a Ginger Bread House. I admire that in you! :)

Greg C said...

I won't use the microwave in our office. It is way too dirty. I think they really do have someone who cleans up after them at home.

I did a gingerbread house one year it it looked like a gingerbread man made it. It was so sad.

Beverlydru said...

You are too funny. Thanks for keeping us smiling over our coffee. Smiles, coffee, gingerbread... now all I need is some of that gingerbread to go with my coffee.

Debbie said...

Too funny - gingervitis! Ha! Glad your house is up to code now.

Pam from alertandorientedx4 said...

Yes, yes yes!!!!! I am a hater of the microwave. I once actually threw away one at the airport because it was so nastily horrible and disgusting. Hint for you (May use this on WFMW): Get a sponge pretty wet and then spray it with chlorox cleanup (3-4 pumps). Heat in your m/w for 1 minute and then let sit for another couple (or 10). The steam from the sponge and bleach/soapy combo softens up the nasties in the m/v. Of course, you are probably exposing yourself and your office mates to carcinogens and such, but I think that congealed pizza and ramen stuck to the m/w ceiling probably let off those things too....

Roxanne Kristina said...

Me too. I'm all about the sign too. I saw that episode and thought the same thing. I'm going to go make another one right now! :)

Melanie @ This Ain't New York said...

I think Jorge needs a blog.

Laurie Ann said...

Glad your house turned out well. Too funny about the microwave signs - tis true! No one wants to clean but no one wants to see the notes! What's up with that? We have that here, too. Yi Yi Yi...

Esthermay said...

Was that a picture of Jorge???
NICE!
And now we know from where the genuine humor comes. Gingervitis. That's a Hoot.

P.S. Just for clarification purposes: I do not watch "Office."
Again: Jorge is a good-lookin' husband.
:-)

PJ said...

Where's the picture of the lady with Gingervitis???? (Quick wit really runs in the family, I see!)

And the microwave!!! Stories I could tell! We had a more curt not so cute version of the "Yo mama doesn't work here." sign for awhile. It got rather soiled though for some reason. Pizza seemed to explode on it on a regular basis!! Must be those nasty-tempered public school teachers!!!

Halfmoon Girl said...

Love the Office- so funny. Michael and his oregano! Hahaha! I so hear you on dirty microwaves.... and ovens, toilets, etc, etc.