Thursday, December 04, 2008
Thoughts at 3:00 AM About This Dress & Wowmart
I saw this dress in a People Magazine while waiting in line at Wowmart.
I am going to get to the dress in a minute, but first, just let me say this: I knew it was a bad idea, going to Wowmart in December, as bad as making a brand new recipe for the first time when company's coming over, or letting Katie Couric interview you. Going to Wowmart in December = "May I please have some more stress because I'm looking to add a few pounds, and stress eating is my number one strategy for getting my pants to fit just a leeettle bit tighter?" Insanity.
So, since I'm apparently all about maximizing one's personal stress, I went in and proceeded to hunt and gather our food for the week. Favorite awful moment: small child saying to his mother, "I'm going to blow your face off ... I'MJUSTKIDDING."
The second favorite moment, which was not awful but funny, was another little boy talking to his mom about a package of string cheese in their cart: "I'm going to eat all of this in one day!" Now there is a kid after my own heart. But I do hope his mom also picked up some Fiber One.
So while I waited in line I perused a People Magazine, an event reserved for traveling to Kazakhstan or waiting in line at Wowmart, which takes approximately the same amount of time, counting layovers, time changes and price checks.
Anyway. I came across this fashion "wowzer," and wondered what Madge had been smoking before wearing this in public.
A few points about this dress:
1. Is it a cross between Peter Pan and Cavewoman of the Bear Clan?
2. Is this where "going green" is taking us?
3. Oscar the grouch is clearly having impure thoughts about Madonna. It's the dress of his dreams.
4. I think this dress is a little "ho hum." It's simply crying for better accessories to further the putting green motif, such as a hat fashioned after this :
5. One "plus" to this dress is that if normal women wore it, the many rolling hills and bumps underneath would just add realism.
6. Is it just me, or does that resemble a fungus growing along the bottom?
I know, I'm being snarky, and that's not pretty, either. I just don't get this dress. Maybe it's one of those styles that looked great on the hanger (or on the lawn) but then failed the person when worn.
Naaah. It's just bad. Bad to the roots!