Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Not Black Lung, Just Stress

I think I will live. I also think I have developed Acid Reflux, which is better than a heart attack, so I will take it.

I think stress brought the reflux on.

For instance, at work, I am learning a new database system that many churches use called, "Shelby." I have no idea why someone named the product "Shelby," but the one we were using before was called "Regis," which was not in honor of Regis Philbin but a shortened version of "registration."

Anyway, here is what it has been like. This is what I call my "kitchen metaphor," to explain my level of anxiety.

Since I've worked in other databases, I'm a little familiar with what's going on, but this one is new in many ways.

Metaphor: I'm in a great big new kitchen, and I feel lost. I've been in kitchens before (Regis), but not this one. I cannot find a spatula. I cannot find an oven mitt. Maybe this kitchen does not even have an oven mitt.

Sometimes, I pull on cabinet doors with all my might, but they are locked. This makes me think bad thoughts/words, right in a church "kitchen."

There are a couple of people I can ask for help, but sometimes they are out to lunch or do not know the answer. They usually say, "This kitchen is just weird like this; get used to it."

So then I have to get on a phone and call a complete stranger at this kitchen's designer's headquarters. I do not like to do this because I'm not fluent in "kitchenese."

So I call and say, "Hi, I'm Lidna Crow. I can't get this one thing to work. Suggestions?"

And then they want me to give them details.


I'm finally starting to learn my way around the kitchen, though, so it won't be long until I'm making PopTarts for everyone, which is the equivalent of a report in database talk.

So that's the work stress.

Then today, I came home to find not one but TWO #2's left by Zoe!

I was scrambling around trying to figure out what possessed her to do such a dastardly thing, when I took it all by paper towel into the bathroom to hear the toilet making a funny sound, which I then saw was from a leak!

So I ran outside with the poo and then ran back in and shut off the toilet.

Part of me wanted to run back to work to get away from the house stress and mess--part of me wanted to stay at home and avoid work this week--I was trapped between two parallel universes of frustration!

There is one place I'm enjoying escaping to, however, and you could never guess where. It's my new laundry room, which I'm going to unveil tomorrow. If I could only fit my TV, recliner and elliptical trainer in there, I would make it my stress-free apartment--no databases, no leaking toilets, just paradise. (Winky-wink, hint!--See ya tomorrow!)


Dawn said...

So sorry! I had one of those weeks two weeks ago. Despite how you feel, you will survive.

Praying for you!!!

Joyce said...

But isnt there laundry in your laundry room because I think laundry adds its own special brand of stress to life. Or is 'laundry room' code for hideaway? If that's the case then bring on the 'laundry' : )

Tabi said...

Love your comparison!! Hope things get a little less stressful soon!! Can't wait to see the new area!

Debbie said...

Oh haven't we all had those kinds of days....weeks....months. Hmmmm. Glad that you don't have The Black Lung.

Mrs. E said...

Better keep Zoe's "Tootsie Rolls" out of that new laundry room. Glad your black lung is getting better!

jbanks said...

Shelby??? Enough said about stress! I'm feeling for you. I was the IT person at our church when I worked there, and there were times when Shelby was *not* my friend. Beware the updates...! :)

And remember, "Mama said there will be days like this..."

Kelly Combs said...

Well there must be a housekeeper in there if the LAUNDRY ROOM is paradise?!??!?


I'm sorry you're having all the stress. The tootsie rolls cracked me up. My dog occasionally leaves me one too. DOGS!

skoots1mom said...

i can't wait to 'sea' your 'blowin' in the wind', ocean vacation location in your laundry room ;D...i'm guessing seagreen/black and white, maybe...

Debbie said...

Good luck with learning the new program. I don't envy you! In my experience when I've been put in front of something new like that, I'm always given about 2 minutes of instructions and then I'm told that I'm on my own. Even if I think I have it figured out, I can never be 100% sure. I never know what dastardly things the computer is doing behind the screen. You know, the place that I like to call "The Twilight Zone". And don't get me started on the Techs. I try to do everything I can to avoid calling them because they always start out by saying, "It's fairly simple, really." Which makes me feel more brilliant!!! So good luck with that and have a good day! :-) You have my sympathy!

Mocha with Linda said...

Acid reflux is no fun. But I'll take it over toilet reflux. Glad it was just a leak.

Hope Shelby decides to be your friend soon.

Can't wait to see your new laundry room!

Greg C said...

Wow sounds like you are having a really bad week. I know it isn't black lung but it may be a Tooomah. At least you didn't step on the tootsie rolls....did you?

You just need to shout Calgon take me away. Try it, it works.

I am fighting with, I mean having fun with my new computer program. I didn''t know there was anything wrong with the old one. ????

sara said...

yikes!!! I think you need to go on one of your girl's weekends!!! Hey, how about down here.....you can relax by the pool in the warm weather. and you won't have to pick up any poo, well unless you want to do my son's job while you're outside by the pool.

btw, have you ever gotten that call from Amy Grant?!?!?!!

The Bug said...

This must be how my poor hubby feels - learning a new system at his new job, fighting with our cars, & still sorting things out at the new house. I guess I'd better keep an eye on him. Fortunately I've been fine thank goodness - well, except for the shoulder surgery thing - but really, I'm fine.

Can't wait to see the laundry room!

Susanne said...

Oy. ;v)

That is some stress. Anything new on the computer stresses me right out, so I totally relate.

Maybe the leaking toilet stressed Zoe out and thus the double surprise.

2Thinks said...

I relate! Excellent analogy with the kitchen storyline and where do you get these photos? How do you make these parallel universe sketches. Coming over here is like blogschool, advanced level- I have to go try to figure these things out.

I've often thought of getting an "escape to paradise" apartment, it is tempting.

Glad it wasn't the black lung.

Jenny wren's nest said...

I have reflux, yuck! some days I feel like I could chew my cud along with the cows. I avoid salad from restrants.

are you suppost to tilt your bed so your head is up? it made me have bad dreams like the earth is going to dump me off its edge. My husband doesnt like it at all.

Barbie said...

I totally understand your frustration. I remember learning the ropes of Shelby. But once you get it, it really is a wonderful system. Good luck!

Kaye Butler said...

The diagram alone scares me.

Kim said...

Why do they keep making NEW AND IMPROVED computer software?! What's wrong with the old?! Seriously, I was so glad that I quit working at the bank before they changed to a new system. Close call! LOL

Very excited for the big unveiling tomorrow!!!

MelanieNewYork said...

Hope you feel better soon. I'd much rather have Regis than a Shelby.

Erin said...

I remember when I was a child I would go to my friend Sandy's house her Mom had six children, her dad remodeled their basement which included a nice laundry room. That was her Mom's refuge away from everyone, when we couldn't find her we were sure to find her in there! Hope you feel better soon!

Lelia Chealey said...

OH you poor thing. My brain doesn't function well at all when it's foggy. I hope you learn the "kitchen" real fast.
I'll be praying for you to be 100% soon.
I love the idea of an apartment!! :)

Mama Belle said...

Poor you! We switched from Shelby to Fellowship One a few years ago ... incredible I hear from those that actually know how to use it.

The Tootsie Rolls cracked me up.

Feel better.

Dena said...

Linda, I'm so sorry you're going through stresses, and I have to be honest and say I felt a little bad laughing, but that was only when I saw the tootsie rolls. I thought we were the only people to ever refer to "those" that way. LOL

Hang in there girl. This too shall pass. :)