Monday, September 14, 2009

Still Laming it Up as a Mom and Other Weekend Activities Involving Dog Poo

Yes, Saturday was another chance to for me capture a memory of my daughter running in her very first season of cross country. (You'll remember last week's post The Lamest Mom There wherein I displayed my photography ineptitude.)

In order to get a good picture this time, we took a "sure thing," our eldest, Katie, to snap a picture, thinking "Surely her 23 year-old reflexes will be better than our 46 year-old reflexes which rival those of Koalas hopped up on Benadryl." Inexplicably, Katie missed the shot. She blamed the camera right now.

Next, Jorge said, "PLEEEEASE let me have that camera!" So we allowed him to give it a go, but he fared no better. He, too, blamed the camera.

Then I grabbed the camera, ran up the course, stood and waited until a certain runner passed who I knew was just ahead of Kristin and poised my camera in the "on" state ready to shoot.

I saw Kristin approaching, held the camera to my eye, then moved my head just to the left for a nanosecond, looked back into the camera, only to discover IT HAD SHUT OFF AGAIN AUTOMATICALLY, JUST LIKE LAST WEEK.

[Note: this event definitely qualifies for the blog subject label I created called, "I Know You Think I Make This Stuff Up" because what are the chances that the camera would shut down again in that same instant as last week?]

Does the Devil live in my camera??

I am reliving the nightmare right now as I type this. I felt just like Yosemite Sam. It's a good thing I didn't have guns or there would be crime scene tape around chunks of camera.

So here is the requisite crowd shot where you never see your own kid, except maybe her pony tail.

Further tangible evidence of my lack of skills:

The amoeba in this pic is actually my child.

And as promised, here are a couple of samples of t-shirt smack talk:

This one says, "It's time to run fast and chew bubble gum, and we're all out of gum." I have no idea what that means.

So she beat her own time again, setting a personal record. Yay, Kid! Good job!

One last note on the meet this week: One team was in a huddle before a race, and this was their chant, verbatim:

Leader: What makes the grass grow?
Huddle: Blood!
Leader: Who do we hate?
Huddle: Mothers!
Leader: What does the devil do?
Huddle: Kill, kill, kill!
All: Goooo Red Devils!

Yikes. Who knew cross country was so hard core. And weird.

Other weekend happenings:

In the middle of the night, I awoke as usual to use the restroom, but as I stepped to the sink to wash my hands, I had that weird, shocking sensation that I had stepped on either a small baked yam or ... dog poo on a throw rug.


"ACK! Argh! OH Yuck! Ugh! Blech!" at 3:00 am.

I shook it off and hoisted my leg up to get my foot into the sink, where I washed it thoroughly.

However, as it was in the middle of the night and in the dark, I lost my balance while my foot was in the sink which caused me to flail my arms in windmills and yell, "Oh. OHHH. OHHHHHHHH!" as I caught myself on the counter behind me just in time to break the fall.

At this point, Jorge, trying to sound concerned from the bed tossed me a token, "All right?"

I got back into bed grumbling, "Stupid, stupid dog." Then as we lay there trying to get back to sleep, I couldn't shake the sensation that since I had washed my foot in cold water it felt "different" from the other foot. One was cold; one was warm.

I literally could not fall asleep because my feet felt different from each other.

Sunday morning we went to church (my turn to hand out bulletins) then celebrated Katie's 23rd birthday at Chili's, and no, we didn't have cake because she wanted apple pie, so Jorge's father baked her one and cut her name into it, except he spelled her name wrong, but oh well ...

Tomorrow: the rest of the weekend and the questions for Wednesday's meme ahead of time.

Hope your weekend didn't include stepping in poo or smack-talk t-shirts. How was your weekend?


Darla said...

my weekend was restful...thanks for asking. i did see a smack talk shirt at the football game tho, it read...our fast is faster than your fast. wow. haha.

Quilldancer said...

So, I'm a fairly decent photographer. Where do you live? When is your next meet? And, before I agree to come, will the dog be there?

Becky said...

LOL My weekend was nothing compared to that. So sorry you stepped in poo at 3am :-p. and why didn't you just get up and wash the other foot???

You sure you aren't pushing the wrong button on that camera? lol

Mrs. E said...

Last year's T-shirt for Girls XC in Tiny Town: "My mascara runs faster than you do." Actually, I kind of liked that one! (I guess I'm a smack talker from way back!)

Joyce said...

In your defense it isn't the easiest sport to photograph. My brother was/is a big competitive runner and coaches hs cross country and track. His wife is a bigger/better runner and she coached at Penn for a few years. They own a running camp (who even knew such a thing existed??) and they do coaching clinics too. We've missed lots of photo ops. I mean, they are running after all. But I also think its fine to totally blame the camera. That works for me.

sorry about the middle of the night excitement. yuk. think of it like this-your day will surely get better.

Happy Birthday to your daughter!

Tabi said...

Just think if you didn't have the dog to step in his poo, what would we be laughing at so hard about right now? Oh wait, yeah that would be the camera! Aren't you sooo glad that your life is really amusing to us readers??!! Thanks for my morning laughs!

Tabi said...

Oh wait, Happy Birthday to Katie!

sara said...

wow, I'm just impressed that you wash your hands in the middle of the night when you go!!!

Mocha with Linda said...

That's a pretty random cheer. Maybe they inserted the line about Mothers after your girl told them about your camera foibles! :-)

No dog poo here, seeing as how we have no dogs. Not that it would rule that out at this house. On Saturday morning, a frog hopped across my kitchen (my man dispatched it to the outdoors), and then Sunday morning he said one hopped out or our bathroom. We have no idea where they came from or how they got in.

Thena said...

No dog poo here. Just two pre teenage hormonal girls. lol

The Bug said...

I totally understand about not being able to sleep because your foot felt different. I'm all about synchronicity in my body...

Susanne said...

Well, no surprise doggy doo in my weekend. Although doggy snoring did keep me awake for awhile. Cracking up at your different temperatured feet keeping you awake. Now I can truly say I have never heard that as a reason for insomnia.

I was wondering if you'd fare any better with the camera this weekend. You'll have to send Jorge up the chute a bit to be a spotter so that when he sees her he can call ya on the cell and then you can turn on the camera so that it won't turn off while you sit at the end waiting. A plan, that's what you need, a well thought out, well executed plan. ;v)

Sue said...

Well my weekend was just plain boring next to yours. I'll pass on the dog poo in the middle of the night, though. Thank you very much!

Better luck next time with that camera. Do you have a "sports" setting on yours? Wonder if that would help... and just yell at those other girls to get out of your shot next time too - lol

Have a great Monday :-D

Kelly Combs said...

"Who do we hate?" "Mothers!" WHAT?? What the L does that mean? I think that is dumber than the bubble gum shirt.


Have you tried crate training Zoie? It works!

Kathy said...

Wow - my weekend was terrific, but I didn't try to take any pictures!!

Unfortunately I can relate only to well to the dog-poo incident. We still have two dogs, but only because I couldn't figure out a clever enough cover story to tell my girls' about the mysterious disappearance of their beloved pooch!!

Happy Birthday, Katie!!

Debbie said...

You, my dear, define random. But in a good way. And you should see my photos of my kids' graduation. I couldn't tell who was in those gowns and under those hats. I just snapped away. My kids laugh and laugh because I got about two of them!

H-Mama said...

Seriously? We hate mothers? That was just... well, creepy.

And yes, I must agree with Debbie... You are random, but in a good way. ;)

Melanie @ This Ain't New York said...

I hear a contest for a new smack talk phrase off in the distance...
I have to go to the store now. We're all out of gum.

MomE said...

Oh, I needed to laugh like that! Thanks! Seriously creepy cheers these days...and I love the concern from "the bed" when you fell after stepping in dog doo...ewww! Hahaha...oh, I'm sorry...really *wheeze hehehe*'s not funny...but it is...oh my! *sigh* I've been reading your blog for a while...but thought I'd comment to let you know you made me smile (laugh loudly)!

samurai said...

We had a nice weekend - thank you for asking. Thank you for sharing and helping me to smile today. 8)

In my family i have a talent for taking pictures of animals posteriares... so... i sort of know how you feel. LOL


Greg C said...

You can't make this kind of stuff up. Nothing worse than warm poo between your toes is there. Last week I saw someone letting their dog make a deposit down at the market. She was hoping that no one saw but I just stood there watching. Much to her dismay she had to take out the plastic glove and pick it up. hahahahaha

Dena said...

My sons team says that chant about blood makes the grass grow. Then they say "what are we gonna do? Kill! Kill! Kill". It actually makes me laugh because he is the most non-violent person I know. LOL

I usually get lucky enough to get 1 good shot when he is running, but the other 50 I try to take end up like yours, where he is blocked.

Together We Save said...

We are crazy comeptitive around my house so I love those t-shirts! Sorry about the poop....

Kim said...

Oh Lid, ROFL!
I don't know which made me laugh harder, the photo-that-just-isn't-meant-to-be or the bathroom humor...

I spent the weekend recovering from being such a party animal and being out late two nights in row last week. Is that pathetic or what?

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, laughing SO HARD over here. You seriously couldn't sleep because your feet were two different temps? Hilarious.

And I have to ask: did you clean the poo or leave it till morning?

Debbie said...

Oh my word I am so laughing at the dog poop.

2Thinks said...

I know what you mean about the camera shots, I can't seem to get the shots either. I blame the camera, as well.

I knew there was a very good reason I ALWAYS wear socks to bed. You might try that. A quick sock change and wash the smelly one in the morning. Yuck.

Smack t-shirts. Hmm. Very interesting indeed. I don't have enough sports in my life apparently.