Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Preview of this Week's Random Dozen and the Friend Who Shall Remain Nameless

But I'll call her, "Lois." And no, Lois is not me. But both Lois stories are absolutely true.

Lois had a gyno appointment. When she took her morning shower, she hurried so that she wouldn't be late. After toweling off, she grabbed her daughter's lotion and applied it before she dressed and quickly left.

At the office, Lois was completely prepped for the exam, and you know exactly what I mean.

The doctor walks in, greets her, assumes his position and appears to be taken aback.

"Well," he says, "I see that you got all dolled up for me today."

Stunned by this weird statement, Lois thought maybe she was one of the statistics who finds out that her gyno is a perv.

But then he explained that Lois was extra shiny all over, in fact, sparkly--unbeknownst to Lois, her daughter's lotion was glitter lotion.

****************
Another true Lois story:

Lois was driving through a DQ with two teenage daughters, and in the midst of ordering, became tongue tied.

After several attempts to pronounce the item correctly and be heard through the speaker, she slowed her speech and clearly requested:

"That's two Penis-Buster Parfaits." (Peanut Buster Parfait)

Her daughters are still in therapy.

****************

Not a Lois story but DQ related: Another "friend" whose name starts with "L" (wink, wink) was at a drive through and asked her kids what they wanted. Her 10 year old son reading the menu replied, "I want a brassiere burger." (Brazier Burger).

Who knew the DQ menu could be so racy?

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**NOTE: This is a Preview brought to you by the 2nd Cup Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a Preview. Should this be the actual day to link up your post, you would receive an announcement advising you to post, link at your earliest opportunity and run to a nearby shelter. However, this is only a preview. Tomorrow is D-Day.**

1. What was the last song you listened to?

2. Have you ever had “buyer’s remorse” over anything?

3. What is something in your life that you are thankful for now that you didn’t think you would be at the time of the event? (Something that seemed ill-timed, inconvenient or hurtful which turned out to be a good thing)

4. Do you watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade every year? If so, do you have a favorite float or balloon?

5. Share a quote, scripture, poem or lyric which has been an inspiration to you lately.

6. This is meant to be a fun question, and this is a G-rated blog, but please share a “guilty pleasure,” something that you enjoy that’s probably not the most edifying, time-worthy or healthy thing you could be indulging in. Did I mention--G rating?

7. What Thanksgiving food are you looking forward to?

8. What is your favorite book to read to children, or what was your favorite childhood book?

9. Do you collect anything? (Feel free to post a photo.)

10. Gift bags or wrapping paper?

11. Share an after-school memory from when you were younger. What was your routine like on an average day?

12. True story: Once, in a job interview, I was asked this question and told there would be no clarifying; I simply had to answer the question: “When you’re fishing, do you feel for the fish?” So what about you? When you're fishing, do you feel for the fish??

15 comments:

A Stone Gatherer said...

Love those stories!

Mocha with Linda said...

Too bad those drapes are so tiny and Lois couldn't pull it up over her face!

And I knew there was a reason I don't like DQ!

Susanne said...

My son works at DQ! Sheesh, maybe I need to be praying for him. LOL.

#12 cracked me right up. Seriously? They asked you that? Where were you applying?

Amy@My Front Porch said...

Oh my stars...thanks for giving me some comic relief in my day :)

Betty said...

LOL! Thanks for the laugh!

teena said...

Oh my goodness! Those stories are hil-AAAR-ious!!

Amy said...

Oh if only those walls of gyno offices could talk...

And if I had a nickle for everytime I said something that came out wrong...but was very funny...in front of a classroom full of students...I'd be a rich music teacher (what an oxymoron that would be..ha)

Amy

skoots1mom said...

why did i feel you were talking about me? ... these more matures years have their lighter side, especially through the eyes of my teen. She helps guide me on those 'crazy' days :D
great questions!

Melli said...

WOW! I must know some of your friends! I've heard at least ONE of those true stories before! LOL!

These are some interesting questions this week Linda! Especially that last one...

Susan said...

OK your WARNING should have been at the beginning of this post! I nearly spit diet coke all over my keyboard! Linda, each of those Lois stories are just a HOOT!

See you for Random Dozen this week!

Hugs,

Susan

Susan B said...

Thank you Thank you for those hilarious Lois stories!! My life has been very stressed lately and as I read your post I started laughing and laughing until tears ran down my face.. too funny!! the bad part is that I can see those incidents happening to me...ha

Susan B said...

Thank you Thank you for those hilarious stories... My life has been just a little too stressed lately and when I read your post today I laughed and laughed til I cried...Love it!!!!

2Thinks said...

This must be a common happening at the gyno office. My sister told me about her real time friend, who really did this exact same thing. Seriously, the story was exactly the same. It's been several years ago now.

I once had a problem with the word "peanuts" as it pertained to a card game I was trying to explain to my relatives.

Like your fall decor here.

Kim said...

I see you're still having trouble getting people to understand the concept of PREVIEW. lol

I laughed til I cried at the Lois stories. Oh my word. The other DQ story was cute too.

Between 2Thinks and 2nd Cup I can't stop laughing. Is it the #2 in your names that makes you so funny?

Beverlydru said...

You are amazingly creative with these meme questions. I keep thinking I'm going to jump in but it's more fun to read everybody else's!