Project 365 Week 5, January 25-31

First of all, let me say I'm doing this at 11:30 pm Saturday night, and I just made it home in treacherous weather from a 16 year-old's birthday party held in the Oneighty building. So if this post is a little less coherent than the usual salmagundi, that's why.

Sunday, 1.25: Wore new jacket to church. Point of interest: $12:00, Kohls. And it makes me want to sing, "If you hear any noise, it ain't the boys; it's ladies' night."






Monday, 1.26: College daughter, Katie, on back of sled with roommate, Kelly. I stole this picture right off Facebook because what mother wouldn't.



Tuesday, 1.27: Planting the Alpha sign in our yard. No, "Alpha" does not mean we own/run the block, although Zoe certainly thinks she is the Alpha dog of the street and world.


Wednesday, 1.28: Girls Group birthday again! This time, it was my friend Madelyn's birthday. She received those ultra-cute reading glasses from another girl in the group. I don't need reading glasses yet, which is a miracle at 46, a miracle I like to point out to all of my friends who do need them. Oh come on. Let me have what little boasting I can gin up.

Thursday, 1.29: When I woke up, the thermometer outside our window said "1." Yes, one degree. I sit around with space heaters (heaven forbid "Amish Heaters") close enough to melt my skin to the furniture, but I still can't get warm. Those slippers are so sexy.

Friday, 1.30: Jorge brought me this from Dairy Queen so that my ankles could fatten up some more for those sexy slippers.




Saturday, 1.31: I went to my niece-to-be's bridal shower. I took her a surf board. jk! It's an ironing board. I'm sure every time she irons a piece of clothing for the next 50 years, she'll think of me fondly and bless the day I brought this homemaker's aid into her life.

Please go see others' pics at Sara's place

How to Impact Your Man this Super Bowl Weekend!

Did you know that there is a site called Bacon Today with an actual Bactionary defining all things bacon? Why do I suspect that this is not a "mommy blogger" site but a site built by men for men about a food group that probably makes every man's top ten list?

My co-worker forwarded this to me, and I thought I'd share it so that if you wanted to impact your husband this weekend (mainly his arteries and colon) you could get step by step directions right here.

Behold the dainty morsel called, "Bacon Explosion." You must see all of the pictures to appreciate this monster. I'd like to see the Barefoot Contessa try to top this creation!

You'll need:

A strong stomach
2 pounds thick cut bacon
2 pounds Italian sausage
1 jar of your favorite barbecue sauce
1 jar of your favorite barbecue rub


Step 1: Create a 5×5 bacon weave, making sure it's taut and square.

Step 2: Add barbecue seasoning to your weave.


Step 3: Layer 2 lbs. Italian sausage and on top of your bacon weave. (I simply can't say "your bacon weave" enough because it is so absurd.) Press the sausage to the outer edges of the bacon, creating a patty that is the same thickness all the way across.


Step 4: That little "added touch": Fry up some more bacon and layer it on the sausage patty which is on top of your bacon weave. Now pour some of your favorite sauce over the crunchy bacon.


Step 5: I'm quoting directly here because I can't improve on these directions:
Now comes the fun part. Very carefully separate the front edge of the sausage layer from the bacon weave and begin rolling backwards. You want to include all layers EXCEPT the bacon weave in your roll. Try and keep the sausage as tight as possible and be sure to release any air pockets that may have formed. Once the sausage is fully rolled up, pinch together the seams and ends to seal all of the bacon goodness inside.



Step 6: We ain't done:
Roll the sausage forward, completely wrapping it in the bacon weave. Make sure it sits with the seam facing downward to help keep it all sealed up. Sprinkle some seasoning on the outside of your bacon weave, and now this bad boy is ready for the smoker.

Cook your Bacon Explosion at 225 degrees in a constant cloud of hickory smoke until your Thermapen gives an internal temperature reading of 165 degrees. Normally, this will take about 1 hour for each inch of thickness, but that could vary depending on how well you maintain your fire and also how many times you open the smoker to take a peek. Mine took about 2.5 hours, which was right on target with its 2.5 inch diameter.





Now, if you wanted to add an authentic Hoosier touch to this, you would simply deep fry this meat log. Mmmmm.

If this dish doesn't impact your man, I don't know what will. What do you think your man would say to this?! Is he a pork lover?

Congrats to #81: Cindy at Still His Girl

Yes, "We were crazy; we were fun; we were the class of '81!" Well, "we" as in "me." But still, 81 is a good number, especially for Cindy of Still His Girl.

As you can see, she was chosen randomly, but check out this comment:

Um, HELLO. It is only fitting that I should win... I LOVE chocolate. I LOVE Kool and the Gang. And I am named Cindy. Let's make it fitting... Cindy's Gourmet Chocolate should be CINDY'S Gourmet Chocolate, you know?

She's kind of sassy, that Cindy-licious Girl, but that's the way we like her, because then we can give her the raspberries ... get it? Raspberry chocolate!

Congrats, Cindy!

Skoots! "Say it Forward" Inaugural Post

I appreciate reader comments, and so do you. Don't even try to tell me you don't give a whit one way or the other about whether or not you receive comments because, in the words of the great 70s group Kansas, without comments, our blogs are "Dust in the Wind, All We are is Dust in the Wind." I had to wipe away a single tear just then.

Comments show us that at least one person is not only out there reading us but may also be resonating with something important we've just proclaimed to the world, like, "I Ken Lee International Delights White Chocolate-Coconut Coffee Creamer." I mean, a revelation like that, wow, it begs to be published on the Internet.

Similarly, a stunning confession such as, "I always mis-type my name 'Lidna' for 'Linda'" often evokes other powerful confessions from readers like, "When I was in my 20s, my mom told me I look like Ted Koppel," which, by the way, is probably my all-time favorite comment because it sent me into paroxysms of laughter then and still has the power to do so today, and no, I cannot quite explain why. (You're dying to know who said that, aren't you?) All this to say: Blogging Community = "You are not alone in your brain. We live there, too!" Scary, and yet, comforting.

Amazingly, no matter the drivel I toss out on a daily basis, someone says, "Me, too!" and then from my end, anyway, it's a veritable cyber love-fest between that commenter and me, in a purely platonic way, of course. Unless Matthew Fox happens to comment, "Me, too, Lid," and then it clearly crosses the platonic line, a place where I'm not willing to go with you, Matty, even though you plead in a cold sweat, "Lid, we have to go back;" I'm sorry, Matheo, but you'll have to find another soul mate today, Dr. Commenter.

Anyway.

At 5 Minutes for Moms, there's a new Friday carnival in which I'd like to participate called, "Say it Forward," which is a way to thank people who are regular commenters to your site. Please click on the button to read the details.

So on this maiden voyage today, I want to encourage you to visit "Skoots1Mom," at "My Hands, His Glory," one of my most faithful commenters and participants in any hair-brained schemes I have going on here at 2nd Cup.

About herself, Skoots says:

Blogging has helped me fight the doldrums of "mid-life" issues because bloggers make me laugh at them, their attitudes, and myself. They give me those "smiley" 'mones when I don't have any of my own.

I am a 10-year colon cancer survivor as of July 2 this year. I love participating in ACS's Relay Walk each year. My Daddy wasn't as blessed to have the same early information about colon cancer, but because of his diagnosis, I was informed I might need to get tested very early, which saved my life. Now, I'm a huge believer in early detection, knowing your family history and charging ahead instead of fearing diagnosis. Each year brings better diagnoses, better treatments and longer life.

As a youth counselor, I'm challenged to listen as teens share where they are, and I am able to share the gospel with them so that they understand the Bible as a lifelong user's manual instead of a "book of stories." Seeing the Holy Spirit in them as they grow is one of the highest blessings of my life.

A friend shared this with me recently: "If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, the fulfillment of your fall." If you'd like the see the narrative that goes with this quote, please go to
The Pear Tree.

Some Skoots factoids:

Interests

* Singing
* Playing keyboard
* trumpet; American Sign Language
* Charcoal sketching
* Gregg Shorthand--in my blood
* Photography
* crocheting
* youth counseling

Favorite Music

* Contemporary Christian
* Chicago
* Neil Diamond (and we are still friends.)
* Carol King
* Michael Buble
* Bozz Scaggs
* The Less
* Switchfoot

And this is her response to my previous post, which is WHY I LOVE HER!
LOVE YOU, SKOOTS! Menopausal Minds Unite! Please bless Skoots by hopping on over and saying, "Hi!"

I'm Pretty Bored, So You Should Be, Too, Video #2

It's not even "I See What You're Saying--Blizzard Edition." It's just, "I'm So Stinkin' Bored and Will Do Anything to Get Out of this House and Create Some Pseudo-Fun."

Points of Interest (maybe):

1. I don't know why I'm standing like that except that deeper snow throws you a little bit off balance, so I think I planted my feet and ended up looking like your kid does when he has a full diaper.

2. The jeans. NOT flattering trouser jeans, but thigh-hugging ones that I generally wear around home to clean in or out in the snow, not really thinking about how they might photograph. And for this, I am truly sorry.

3. "Saturday Night Fever," not "Saturday Night Live." Ah, the oldness. It is loitering around my brain waiting for any and every chance to humiliate me.

4. When I came in the house to take a shower (because I shoveled our drive right after the video) the first song I heard on the radio was "Staying Alive," which I thought was ironic, and I love irony. But not ironing.

5. I was not in the "Blair Witch Project." I just managed to get only half of my face in the picture during part of this. Snow was falling off the tree in clumps on me, it was cold, my tape was running out and I remembered why you don't drink liquids before you suit up to go play in the snow, so I was distracted, all right??

6. The whole reason I'm telling you about the blizzard of '78 is because I meant to ask everyone to leave a favorite or worst snow memory comment, and that blizzard was mine. Like I said, I was about 16, and I couldn't see my boyfriend all that time, but he worked at Kmart, and they had him come to work a few days when no one else was in the store, so he called me from there and we talked for hours. You can see that my teenage years were eerily similar to the those of the glamorous kids on 90210 and One Tree Hill.

Bonus: The truck drowning me out in the beginning cracks me up.

Randomness Alert! It's Summertime in My Head (But That's About All That's There): Wordless Wednesday

Dateline: Muncie, Indiana. Temp: 16*.

I'm 'bout to put dis sign all up in my yard.








"Look, Ma, no brains!"
(i.e.: Mindless video. We in the hinterland 'hood have to make our own fun. Turn your sound up!)


What are you doing for fun today?

Thanks to Wordless Wednesday for the fun.

Bloggy Giveaway *closed*

I almost missed the Bloggy Giveaways Quarterly Carnival.I'm offering one more Gold Pack of Cindy's Gourmet Divine RASPBERRY Chocolate, pictured in the previous post. Cindy's chocolate is different from regular old chocolate because rather than just having crushed candy on top, the chocolate is infused with raspberry goodness. Oh my. As I said before, one bite and Kool and the Gang start singing "Celebration" in your mouth. There's a party goin' on in there.

Please leave me a comment to be entered, and although I neglected to mention it in my permalink, I'm sending to US and Canada only. I'll draw Jan. 30 at 6:00 pm and let you know if you're the winner.

Have fun blog hopping!

We Have a Winner of the Ugly Mug Contest!

Finally, I can shed the mantle of shame (Owner of the Ugliest Coffee Mug on the Planet) and place it upon you, my worthy successor: Becky at Adult Deprived, who is apparently also mug deprived. Or depraved. Becky's mug was aptly described by Joy at Sing 4 Joy as "ropetastic."

Coming in a close 2nd, however, was Beverlydru at Dancing with the Daffodils and her witch with a wart mug. Awesome. Beverly, since you lost by only two votes, email me your address, too, and I'll send you a little sumpin' sumpin'.

Everyone who participated is a great sport and I think you brightened a lot of people's day with your "tragically hysterical" stories, as Kim from the South put it.

Here is Becky's new & improved, updated prize package valued at approximately $30:



A $15 Starbucks card! Woo to the Hoo!

One "Gold Pack" of my friend Cindy's Gourmet Divine Chocolate Bark--RASPBERRY! Oh, you are in for a treat. Remember that Cindy's chocolate bark is not just sprinkled with raspberry candy; it's infused with raspberry throughout. Get ready for a veritable taste bud lollapalooza. With your first bite, Kool & the Gang start singing "Celebration" inside your mouth: "There's a party goin' on right here, a celebration, to last throughout the years."

Two coffee-themed towels for Valentine's Day that say, "I Love You A Latte," because I gotta whole latte love for anyone who can win an "ugly" contest.

Last but not least, this ca-yute mug with the phrase, "Espresso Yourself," and "Be a Coffee Drinking Fan," which is kind of like me turning your pumpkin into a carriage. Let the mug commemorate your new title, "Owner of Very Clever Mug Which is Perfect for Coffee-drinking Bloggers Who Love to Espresso Themselves." Use it daily; use it well. Make me proud.

Thanks to all who entered and voted. And just so you know ... I finally got rid of my ugly mug--the drinking one, and bought myself a new one at TJ Maxx!

1000 Posts & Vote Today for the Ugliest Mug!

First of all, I'd like to announce that today is my 1000th post! I began blogging on October 1, 2005, very sporadically at first, daily for quite a while now. Thanks for making this "hobby" so fun!

I know. You haven't been able to sleep for 2 weeks. Me neither.

But our waiting is over; today's the day to post your ugly mug, or if you're not posting, to vote for the ugliest mug.

Just leave your link below, and we'll come check you out. Voting closes at midnight; I'll announce the Queen of of the Ugly Mugs tomorrow. And show you what she/he wins! If the winner is a "he," I will of course change the title to "King." Unless he wants to go on Oprah and confess something, which if he does, I don't want to know about it.

Anyway.

Remember how this idea got started? Let us reminisce.

I couldn't believe I was still using a nasty, crusty, ugly old mug that I had practiced painting on for my morning coffee. And because I have a disease which causes me to expose every vulnerable fiber of my insecure being on the Internet in the hopes of purging myself by humiliation, I posted this pic:

Ooh, doggies. That's bad. So then I thought, "Hey. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you've been using this ugly thing, I'm sure a million other people have been doing the same thing, hanging onto old mugs because they just forget to get rid of them or are too lazy to walk to the trash can, like you are. So just have a contest, calling all ugly mug owners to expose their under bellies, too. Do it! It'll be great fun! People will love this!"

Uh, not so much.

But here we are. I promised a prize. I promised to provide fun. I promised not to raise taxes. So here we are.

You got any ugly mugs? I hope?

If so, link up below, and let us come judge you, because being judged for ugliness is FUN!

Come on back tomorrow to see Mug Royalty. Until then, happy repulsed voting!!

Project 365 Week 4, January 18-24

*Edit* I accidentally posted my Ugly Mug winner's post without the actual winner, of course, which basically means I gave away all of my prize secrets, which makes me want to shoot myself in the foot or something. Then I deleted it, but if you saw it in your reader, then you already know about "the goods." Maybe it will inspire you more!




Wow, time flies when you've got nothing interesting to take pictures of. And I have no idea why my slideshow is repeating pictures. It doesn't do that when I edit it, of course. It only happens here on my blog. Nice.

Anyway, here is week four, in a nutshell:

Sunday: A picture of the latest scarf, which is to die for: purple, white, and black, three of my favorite colors. I now have enough scarves to do a nice Thursday Thirteen post about them. I thought of the TT post because I hate singling them out in pics like I have here. I mean, how can I show favoritism when they're all so sweet, like good children that don't talk back but only hug you around your neck. Scarves = biblical full-quiver blessing.

Monday: Back to work. Yes, Indiana is that flat. If we didn't have trees, we could see across the state line. This is the road I travel every day at least twice a day, usually more. Quite scenic, if you're not into scenery.

Tuesday: Yogurt. It's what's for breakfast. And lunch. I'm eating a lot of low-fat yogurt, people. That's two to three a day, seven days a week. Imagine what my grocery cart looks like. The cashier probably thinks I'm bathing in it. And I have finally succumbed to the guilt of not washing, saving and sending in the foil lids to feed the hungry somehow (I haven't read the fine print yet). When I was an occasional yogurt consumer, I just licked that foil and tossed it. Now every time I lick it, I see the writing on the lid, and the guilt has grown to the point where I am actually washing and saving the foil as if I'm actually going to follow through on this good deed.

Bonus pic: That corn on my chair at work? The "Corn Fairies" (the teenage interns) left it there for me when I stepped away from my area. Also this week they left a thawed Freezee popsicle thing in my chair. In years past, other interns have left me Neil Diamond albums and live goldfish in a bowl and "You Rock" spelled out in Styrofoam peanuts, all on my chair. Ah, youth ministry.

Wednesday: Wednesday night is Girls' Group night, where we have coffee and talk and laugh and celebrate milestones together. This week we celebrated our friend Diane's birthday. Diane is my friend whom I've told you in previous posts is battling cancer. As you can imagine, her birthday is pretty special. And she does NOT look 51, but she is. Here she is seen holding the pretty mug I gave her with chocolate in it and a pink scarf that I gave her. I bet you'd like to receive a pretty mug just like that one, wouldn't you? Gee, wonder how you could do that?

Thursday: Self-portrait entitled, "Nanook Leaves for Work in the Morning."

Friday: Attended a PJ birthday party for my beautiful co-worker and friend whom I shall call "Hope" because I have called her "Faith" in previous posts. I'm clever like that. There were three other "girls" there. We watched Wife Swap and talked and laughed and ate. I was the oldest woman there. So I decided to turn that lemon into lemonade by telling them that I had not had a period since October 4, my 46th birthday. They were all envious. Very envious. Making younger women envious of me in whatever way I can? Tres sweet, mes petite bon bons.

Saturday: Fooling around trying to take pics to post on my ugly mug contest Monday. This is called "mugging for the camera." Get it? "Mugging?" Yeah. Well, I gave my best attempt about 36 times and then gave up, as evidence by the exasperated look in that one pic.

Funny thing is, I've seen that same expression in many of Mama Belle's pictures of herself. You know how they say that people who are together a lot tend to take on each others' traits, habits and expressions to the point of looking alike? Do you think it's possible I'm doing that with Mama Belle from a zillion miles away?

*Bonus pic that is blurry: Zoe is kissing the camera lens. She's a diva.

Come on back tomorrow (Monday) to visit our Ugly Muggin' Friends around the 'Net as they sign in via Mr Linky. Then come on back and vote in my comments. Tuesday, the Queen of the Ugly Mug receives her scholarship, sash, and cash prizes worth millions of dollars.

The Ugly Mug Contest is now the Sexy Ugly Mug Contest

*EDIT* To answer a couple of questions, no, what you are about to read does not mean you have to do a "se*xy pose." I was trying to be funny about selling the idea. I cannot believe I almost led some of you down a path of debauchery.

So Big Mama had a contest. Within 30 seconds of announcing it, she had 921 comments.

That's a lot of comments. I mean, if I entered a competition called "Person Mostly Likely to be Called Linda Crow," I probably could not get 921 votes.

But I think I know why my contest has been so wildly unpopular.

I think it's because I have totally disregarded every smart piece of marketing smartness known since Darrin Stevens first let us into his world at McMann and Tate Advertising: Sex sells. And by the way, who was McMann?

So I decided to spice up my ad campaign a little, hoping tons of people will hypnotically get on board when they see my publicity blitz.

I had to have my people (Clinton Kelly) call a few of their people, but I think it was worth the effort and that you'll enjoy seeing how sexy ugly mugs can be.

Here is Tina Louise, a.k.a. "Ginger" from Gilligan's Island. Hubba hubba.
















































Rumour has it that Fergie is thinking about changing her nickname to "Muggy-licious."

Now honestly.


It looks like everybody whose anybody digs an ugly mug.

Can you honestly say you don't want to be one of the beautiful ugly mug people?

Remember: $15 at Starbucks, plus one or two other little surprises. Monday's the day. You can do it.

Fit to Be Tied and Vulnerable to Being Swapped Out

Look at this thing. Look at this Beast. With a capital B.

You might think that it resembles the mild-mannered, innocuous, rarely seen bedroom-dwelling elliptical machine which urban legend often suggests also serves as a clothes hanger, but you would only be slightly correct in your thinking, about 10% correct.

Because 90% of the time, it is a Beast, an instrument of torture which leaves no visible mark upon its victim, such as a tighter hinder or fewer pounds. Oh, no, it just chews you up and then spits you out on the bedroom floor.


And no one cares. Except your little dog, also known as "Da Beast," who has trouble carrying around the cardboard roll from the inside of a paper towel roll, and is therefore unlikely to bring you any form of liquid rejuvenation like a bottle of water or whiskey in a barrel around her neck. But she does try to kiss me back to life, and no, not just because I'm saltier than a fried pork fritter at that point. She's just concerned, that's all.

Anyway, as I was on The Beast this afternoon, I was forced to channel surf through regular TV because we don't have Tivo for the little bedroom TV. I landed on "Wife Swap," an ABC reality show where a belly-dancing, space-cadet, earth-mother type mom switched places with a pig farmin' mom for two weeks.

But I only watched this because neither "Masterpiece Theatre" nor "Latin for Fun" was available. Just so ya know, 99% of the time, I only watch classy & smart TV. Just so ya know.

Anyway, after the episode, Jorge and I were talking. Well, he was talking, and I was panting and signaling for water since I couldn't make my voice come out and had 10 minutes left to go on the elliptical.

So he says to me, he says, "If you were going to be on that show, what kind of woman would they need to find to replace you? I mean, what would be your fundamental opposite?"

I think he was hoping I'd reply, "Angelina Jolie," and that she might come visit him for two weeks, sans Brad and the kids.

But all I could scratch out was, "A hydrated wife. Because I'm dying here," but he just left the room thinking about my possible replacements, I'm sure.

So that got me to wondering; what would you say? What kind of Mom/Woman would be your alter-ego if you did the non-perverted wife-swap thing?

LOST Again!

You've gotta be a fan or at least have seen the show once or twice to get this, but it's pretty funny, and I think it's a good way to celebrate the kick off of the new season.

Speaking of the new season, what did you think? I just finished watching my Tivo'd version, and it's 11:37 pm, so I'll make my comments short, and as usual, my comments are not unified or coherent because this isn't English composition class, and LOST defies unity and coherence. But it rocks!

Astoot Observations:

There is, of course, no doubt now that people are time traveling. And who didn't want to see Ethan and Ana Lucia again?! (Me!) Who do we hope to see again? Charlie!

All I know is, with all of this time traveling, I'm sure Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite is going to show up some time so that he can finally travel back to 1982 and "win state." He could probably actually throw a football 1/4 mile over those mountains on the Lost island.

Anyway.

Oh, that Sawyer, the most aggravated man in the history of televisiondome. And the most shirtless one. The only other characters rivaling his chest exposure are Juliet, and when she was on the island, Kate. Both always manage to have low cut tops on. How come Rose never does?

Moving right along: Yet another addition to the "ways I do not want to die" list: death by dishwasher.

Factoid: Richard, according to this source and many others, is not wearing manscara. You know, "guy"liner. He just looks like an Egyptian hieroglyph, which adds to his immortal aura.

The tiny tot actor playing Aaron is the best baby actor ever. He deserves an Emmy. He's not spitting back lines like Michelle Tanner. He's emoting.

Two of my favorite lines: "That chick likes me," and

"It's a compass." "What does it do?" "Points north."

Loved Hurley in his new shirt: "I heart my shih tzu." And who hasn't wanted to throw a burrito at Benjamin Linus?? He deserves a little bean burn, if you ask me.

And, is it just me, or does Sun seem "mad" at Kate?!

Finally, two of my favorite pics from my last LOST post of the previous season, Kristin imitating Juliet, and Sayid, the enigmatic, sensitive assassin.












What were your favorite moments? Any guesses about what's coming down the line?