Link Up for the Random Dozen & Something You Don't Know About Mr. Linky

I am so, so very happy to tell you that I'm writing my post from Panera today on the new Netbook. Have I mentioned I love the new Netbook once or twice?

The only downfall is the couple directly to my right who are quietly having a serious discussion about their relationship. Just not quiet enough.

Normally, I answer the dozen on Thursday, but I decided to get all crazy and toss it all up in the air and look what happened, I posted my answers today with you! Please link up at the bottom so that everyone can come see you.

1. Do you find it gross to share drinks with family? Friends?

I wouldn't say "gross." I would say I'm cautious about it. Somehow, in all these 47 years, I have escaped the plague of cold sores, although I used to get canker sores regularly. Big difference. So, I'm cautious for that reason; I don't want to have to deal with cold sores. And I just love the way this week's edition started with such a lovely thought: "I prefer not to contract Herpes Simplex."

2. What have you learned this year? (You didn't see a question of that weight coming, did you? At least not for #2.)

I learned, or should I say "re-learned," via four funerals, that life is short and that you can be breathing one minute and not the next. Eternity is not far away out there somewhere; it's as near and real as the snap of a finger, the wink of an eye. It is one instant away.

I learned, through Facebook, that you should indeed "Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold." I have enjoyed renewing friendships with high school classmates, even some who date back to grade school. Ten years ago, I wouldn't have cared as much as I do now. It's an age thing.

I'll stop there in the name of brevity.

3. When do you dismantle the Christmas decorations?

January 1 or 2. And inevitably, my mom will call in the middle of the dismantling right at the point of Christmas tree light frustration and ask if I'm cooking cabbage. Why? It's a Midwestern/Southern tradition that is supposed to bring about prosperity in the new year. And it works all right. If the country's currency is stinky gas.

4. Something you wish to accomplish before the end of 2009 is:

Getting a higher score than 9750 on Facebook Farkle?

5. How do you feel about winter (after Christmas)?

If it weren't for being afraid to run out there on the frozen tundra, I'd be OK with it. Except I do think I struggle with some seasonal affective disorder. When I used to go to the tanning bed, I didn't just go for the tan; I also went for the feeling of a mini tropical vacation in the sun. The smell of coconut, the bright light, the warmth after just trudging in from snow .... ahh, I miss it.

6. Have you participated in after-Christmas sales?

No, and I have about as much desire to as plucking my eyelashes out one by one.

7. Do you have plans for New Year's Eve?

They're in the making. I believe it's going to include Farkle at a friend's house. What can I say? I'm a junkie. It's the only game of chance I've ever enjoyed. I really like Catch Phrase because it's all about words.

8. Is there anything special awaiting you in January?

Amy Grant is going to call me? HA HA JUST KIDDING. We know she's not.

No, I can't think of anything besides the season premiere of Biggest Loser on January 5th and the season premiere of Chuck on January 10.

9. If your life this year was a movie, what category or genre would it be? (Romance, Comedy, Drama, Thriller, Suspense, Farcical, etc.)

Dramedy. Drama with a twist of comedy.

10. How much time per day do you spend blogging? Please do not lie. I will know.

Ahh, the real question is how much time do I spend on Facebook. It has consumed me much as blogging did a couple of years ago. I'm trying to find balance in both.

11. Who runs your household?

What a bad question. You must have run out of ideas. I would say we have a balance of power. When the kids were younger, I had more power. They have stripped me of my power now so that now I am merely a figurehead like the Queen of England is for Australia.

12. Share one hope/dream for 2010.

I'm not trying to be melodramatic here, but I don't really have dreams (i.e. big hopes or plans for the future) like other people. I don't know when I stopped, but I just don't. I have spent a lot of time trying to learn to lower my expectations in life, not raise them to have them crushed. I know that sounds drab, but it works for me.

Wow, what a "Sally Sad Sack" answer. But I don't feel sad about it; it just sounds sad, like,

"Happy New Year," signed, Eeyore.



In the title, I mentioned "something you don't know about Mr. Linky." Well here it is: Don't make the mistake of typing "Mr. Kinky" for "Mr. Linky." Trust me.

The Last Random Dozen of 2009!

Are you ready to part with 2009? I am. And that's all I'm saying for now.

Here are your PREVIEW questions, which you are to think about overnight like this:


and then come back Wednesday to link up and share your answers. Let's go out of 2009 with a bang, not with a whimper, shall we?

1. Do you find it gross to share drinks with family? Friends?

2. What have you learned this year? (You didn't see a question of that weight coming, did you? At least not for #2.)

3. When do you dismantle the Christmas decorations?

4. Something you wish to accomplish before the end of 2009 is:

5. How do you feel about winter (after Christmas)?

6. Have you participated in after-Christmas sales?

7. Do you have plans for New Year's Eve?

8. Is there anything special awaiting you in January?

9. If your life this year was a movie, what category or genre would it be? (Romance, Comedy, Drama, Thriller, Suspense, Farcical, etc.)

10. How much time per day do you spend blogging? Please do not lie. I will know.

11. Who runs your household?

12. Share one hope/dream for 2010.

Column Today--The Day After Christmas

Why don't candy canes taste as good on December 26 as they have for the last four weeks?

Overnight, radio stations have stopped playing Christmas music and resumed regular programming. Shiny packages wrapped with care are now shreds of white with ribbons trailing like puppy leashes. Holiday dinners are now leftovers.

Christmas trees are looking tired, and the glow of the rooftop lights is overshadowed by the prospect of bringing them down. And even as you read this, some are returning gifts they received only yesterday.

Christmas appears to be screeching to a halt if you merely take into account those cultural embellishments that we hang on the holy day like flashy ornaments. Their temporariness reflects the material life we live now, but the true gift of Christmas is eternal.

Follow the link to read more.

Christmas

It's 8:40 a.m.

I remember the days when the morning frenzy would be over by now, but in 2009, two of the five of us are still asleep.

The kids are 23, 20, and 17. I remember when they were little I'd project their ages into the future, and I could not begin to fathom them being the ages they are now. Just like I can't imagine them being 50, 47 and 44. I hope I live to see that day. And I hope for some grandchildren to enjoy Christmas with then. Never thought I'd long for grandchildren, but I can see how it happens now.

Internet is Down, But Christmas Spirit is Up

Apparently, our Internet at home is down, so I'm not sure when I'll be back on here. In the meantime, since you came all this way, I'm leaving you with a look at my audition for the part of Buddy the Elf's girlfriend. Oh, white tights. You did the fat knees no favors.

Merry Christmas everyone!

I'm rejoicing with you.

"Let every heart prepare Him room!"

Another 2009 Retro Moment::The Jump Hug

Question: Why on "The Bachelor" and "Bachelorette" and "Wife Swap" do women run up to the guy and straddle jump him? Once you've seen this about 100 times, and I would think once you've greeted him that way 100 times, it kind of loses its spontaneous, flirty aspect. Thank goodness they're all size 2's, too.










I just wonder if those guys start thinking, "Ohhhh, here she comes! Get ready ... get set ... here she comes ... plant my feet and ... WOMP!" "I made it! I'm still standing!" It's like WWF hugging. You'd think they were returning from war or something. It's the new nonverbal cliche: the jump-hug.


I'm thinking the technique probably takes practice.

It just happens that Jorge is traveling on business this week. Perhaps I should practice up the jump hug on the walnut tree in the back yard for when he returns.


Uh, No!
Not serious!
JK, Jorge!

So what did you think of The Bachelorette finale?

Did Reid's return surprise you? I'm glad she didn't choose him. He looks like he's about 16.

And didn't ya just love the "bleep" Jillian gave us before Ed turned up? Hi-Klass.

It's kind of ironic that the Cymbalta commercial came on right after Jillian spent 15 minutes of air time crying. Heck yeah, "Depression hurts." So does reality TV.

And did you notice that Jillian awkwardly jump-hugged Ed during at her proposal? That's hard to do in a formal. But it wouldn't be The Bachelorette without the jump-hug. Good grief.

Revisiting One Of My Faves

So, you all know how I feel about the Vermont Teddy bears, as evidenced in this post. But I realize that Vermont Teddy Bears are making somebody rich, and I also realize that the rich person isn't me.

However, I did not fall off the turnip truck yesterday, which is "Hoosier-speak" for, "HEY! I can capitalize on the Indiana tourist craze by making 'Hoosier Bears' and selling them around Valentine's Day to all of the men who want to get ... their wives to deep fry them some beef jerky and funnel cakes! Smack mah pappy and call meh jean-yus!"

So I've been busy in my arts and crafts laboratory creating prototypes for "Hoosier Bears." What do you think? There's one for everyone! I mean, don't they make you want to squeal and drool all over their little cutenesses?

The only thing is, for some reason the slideshow keeps repeating a few of them. There are nine in all, but you'll see about four twice. Argh. But then again, when you're looking at something this adorable and sex-ay, you've gotta look twice. They start with "Girly Girl Bear" at $19.95 and go up. Don't delay; order today. Operators are standing by, but like the Shamwow guy says, we can't do this all day!

"Best Of" for 2009

Hi, all two of you who are actually blogging this week!

In case you don't know who that is to the left, that is "Rerun" from What's Happening!! (Yes, the title actually contained two exclamation points) a sitcom which aired from 1976-1979.

See, after you get a few years under your belt, you have a reservoir of useless cultural info from which to dip when you want to make obscure references which will leave many of your readers scratching their heads.

Anyway, I'm gonna slide right on out of 2009 by re-running (get it?) some posts which received more comments than usual. I hope you enjoy.

Published 1/8/09






For the two of you out there who send your kids to public school, may I ask, do they tell you strange stories about their lunches? If so, do you believe them?

When I was a kid, I loved school lunches. Especially by the time I hit high school, when, no joke, I not only ate my lunch with whatever dessert was served, but also my friend's dessert and sometimes, my friends', desserts.

Oink.

Tangent: Not only was the food great, but the cafeteria ladies knew your name, or at least acted like they did. They seemed proud to serve up each day's choices and would occasionally share recipes if enough people asked.

I know this is a sweeping generalization, but I maintain that in today's public school cafeterias, much has changed. The workers do not seem "emotionally invested" at all in the lunches, at least in my experience as a middle and high school sub. I've heard it's because they have no choice in what they offer; it is all preplanned, some of it pre-cooked, and sent to the schools to re-heat. It's hard to get excited over re-heating food, I guess. Unless you're me. (Because to me, re-heating is better than cooking, and cereal is best of all.)

Back from tangent: One of the questions I ask my daughter and her friend when I pick them up after school every single day is "What did you have for lunch?" And then I smile to myself because I know entertainment is about to spew forth.

"Mom," she says emphatically, as if "Mom" is a statement, and not an introductory salutation. "Mom."

"Yes?"

"You wouldn't believe what we had today."

"Oh yeah? Was it bad?" I ask, hoping she's about to drop the badness bomb I've come to know and love.

"Here's what we had: apple sauce, a regular apple, a salad, which was really shredded lettuce with half a boiled egg, stuffed bread sticks filled with something like cheese substitute, and spaghetti with water."

"You mean they didn't serve milk today?"

"No, we had milk."

"You said, 'spaghetti with water.'"

"The water was in the spaghetti. The spaghetti was in the water."

"EW. That's terrible!"

"Yeah," adds the friend. "It was like spaghetti soup."

"Ah" I'm thinking, "Now we're cookin' with ... water. This can only get better." I say aloud, "So you had apples and ... apples? What's up with that?"

"I don't know. Maybe kids with braces can only eat applesauce, but it's all runny. And I was still hungry because the fruit and salad didn't fill me up, so I used some change to get Chex Mix."

"Niiiice," I'm thinking. "Junk food on top of spaghetti soup." But I say, "So did that help?"

"No, because I couldn't get the bag open, so I pulled real hard and split the sack and the Chex Mix went everywhere, and I had to clean it up, and then lunch was over."

I'm hoping she didn't have a big test right after that because she was running on apple and lettuce fumes at that point.

That was yesterday. Today her friend said, "Did you see Ethan's spill down the front of him?"

Kristin replied, "Yeah, what happened?"

Friend: "He spilled his turkey tetrazzini."

Me: "How can you 'spill' turkey tetrazzini all down the front of you; I mean, doesn't it just plop?"

Them: "No. It was turkey tetrazzini in water. Water was all in the turkey tetrazzini."

And so it goes. On and on. Day after day. But I wouldn't miss the daily lunch report for anything because I know in two years, it'll all be water under the bridge spaghetti.

Do you have any lunchtime memories? Do your kids have stories?

Seven Sad, Sad, Sad Christmas Songs. You're Welcome.

I know ... you're going to think I'm hard and crass when you read this post, so if you're not in the mood for Christmas song tongue in cheek humor (satire alert!) click away. I understand.

OK, for those who remain:

It's the most wonderful time of the year ... for some people. Other people, not so much. Here is my tribute, which I thought was an original, creative idea until I Googled it of course, to the saddest songs of the happy Christmas season. Enjoy.

Or suffer, whichever you prefer.

7. Last Christmas - WHAM! Because what is a 2nd Cup post without the occasional reference to WHAM!?

I'm abridging these lyrics because basically, they're the same throughout the song. But the odd stanza about friends with tired eyes and souls of ice grabs the old ticker, especially with the irreverent use of God's name thrown into a Christmas song. Way to go, George. (Not Crow. Although George Crow also happens to be named "George Michael.") And I have always maintained that the 3rd line should read, "But the very next day, you tore it apart." Better, yes?

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
My god I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

6. Happy Christmas (War is Over) - by John Lennon.
Great. A hippie song for Christmas. Oh, OK, peace on Earth and goodwill toward men; I get it. I'm just not a huge Lennon fan. What starts ostensibly as a happy melody gets quickly dampened by these lyrics:

So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear ones
The old and the young

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear

Yikes, John. You have to bring fear into a Christmas song? And the first two lines sound like my mom after I ripped the wrapping paper for a peek when I was a kid: "What have you done??!!" You gotta be careful when you copy lyrics. One version of this said, "The near and the dim ones."

5. Blue Christmas - Elvis and the back-up "owl" quartet with the "oooh oooh, oooh oooh" skilz.

I'll have a Blue Christmas without you
I'll be so blue thinking about you
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won't be the same dear, if you're not here with me

And when those blue snowflakes start fallin'
That's when those blue memories start callin'
You'll be doin' all right, with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas

We get it. BLUE. Blue, blue, blue Christmas [insert owl hoot].

4.I'll Be Home for Christmas - various artists

This one also starts out OK but quickly deteriorates into a sarcastic "dream on" in the mind of the listener.

I'm dreamin' tonight of a place I love
Even more then I usually do
And although I know it's a long road back
I promise you

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents under the tree
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love light beams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams
If only in my dreams

"So what you're saying is, you want me to go to all the trouble of arranging snow and mistletoe, but you don't know if you can actually make it. Well that's just great."

3. Please Come Home for Christmas - The Eagles

Nothing like begging someone not to roam to bring on the warm Christmas fuzzies. And somehow "sorrow, grief and pain" are not conducive to egg nogg drinking. At least not Baptist egg nogg.

Bells will be ringing this sad sad New Years
Oh what a Christmas to have the blues
My baby's gone I have no friends
To wish me greetings once again
Cries will be singing Silent Night
Christmas carols by candlelight
Please come home for Christmas
Please come home for Christmas
If not for Christmas by New Years night
Friends and relations send salutations
Sure as the stars shine above
But this is Christmas yes Christmas my dear
The time of year to be with the ones you love
So won't you tell me you'll never more roam
Christmas and new Years will find you home
There'll be no more sorrow no grief and pain
And I'll be happy, happy once again
Oh there'll be no more sorrow, no grief and pain
And I'll be happy, Christmas once again



2. And here's one I had never heard until this week: Roy Orbison singing, "Pretty Paper." Like some others, this one starts off in a haze of sepia sentimentality which quickly turns to an oppressive, guilt-inducing fog by the 2nd stanza. If you make it past the 3rd stanza without doubling over in remorse, then your heart is 2 sizes too small, like the Grinch.

Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue
Wrap your presents to your darling from you
Pretty pencils to write “I love you”
Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue

Crowded street, busy feet hustle by him
Downtown shoppers, Christmas is nigh
There he sits all alone on the sidewalk
Hoping that you won’t pass him by

Should you stop? Better not, much too busy
You’re in a hurry, my how time does fly
In the distance the ringing of laughter
And in the midst of the laughter he cries

Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue
Wrap your presents to your darling from you
Pretty pencils to write “I love you”
Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue

And if you think lyrics about ignoring a homeless man are sad, the melody is even more morose.

But the Number One Saddest Christmas Song Ever: The Christmas Shoes recorded by several artists, but the one I've heard is by Newsong.

No, the Christmas shoes do not look like the snazzy one in this picture. These are "Come to Jesus" shoes. A little boy wants his mom to look nice in case she passes away that night.

Part of my problem with this song is that I do not like story songs in the tradition of the worst song ever: Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. My other problem is that listening to it on Youtube just made me want to drop my forehead on the computer desk and cry until I warped the fake wood. I can't imagine slipping this song in between Joy to the World and Frosty the Snowman. It's torturous on many levels. I do have a heart, but I dislike story songs immensely. (Kind of like musicals.)

It was almost Christmas time
There I stood in another line
Trying to buy that last gift or two
Not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me
Was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing around like little boys do
And in his hands he held
A pair of shoes

And his clothes were worn and old
He was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus, tonight.

He counted pennies for what seem like years
And cashier says son there's not enough here
He searched his pockets franticly
And he turned and he looked at me
He said Momma made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir
What am I gonna do?
Some how I’ve got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I layed the money down
I just had to help him out
And I'll never forget
The look on his face
When he said Momma's gonna look so great.

Sir I wanna buy these shoes, for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful,
If Momma meets Jesus tonight.

I knew I caught a glimpse of heavens love as he thanked me and ran out.
I know that God had sent that little boy to remind me
What Christmas is all about

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight

I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight

OK, these are my nominations. Do you know any sad Christmas songs?

PS: Where's the non-Baptist egg nogg?

My Answers to This Week's Dozen

1. Gingerbread: For or against? Discuss.

Definitely for, if we're talking baking/decorating. Eating? That's a bit iffy. Go light on the nutmeg, and I'm OK.

2. Is it important to you to always stay (live) close to family?

It is more important now than ever. My parents (thanks for helping me celebrate yesterday, by the way) are elderly, and my kids go to a nearby university. I love my girlfriends and my job ... why would I want to move? (Ask me again in slushy March when I'm longing to live on Anna Maria Island, FL).

3. Which holiday pretend character do you wish really existed?

Prancer, from the movie. And then Frosty.

4. Which holiday movie best represents how you feel about Christmas or life?

"It's a Wonderful Life." Every clinically depressed, suicidal person should have to watch this as part of therapy.

5. Is there a particular Christmas song that you're enjoying now? Any that you're tired of?

Here's the thing. I love Christmas music. I'm the one who wants to listen in October but waits until Thanksgiving, only to be chastised by Thanksgiving purists. However, this year, it is not working for me. I get so frustrated at all the radio stations playing all Christmas, all the time 3 weeks early. I'm feeling a little bit like "Groundhog Day" every time I hear the opening chords in some. There are some new ones I've found on AOL Christmas music, though, that I'm enjoying. And for some reason, this year I like Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You." I'm REALLY tired of "Grown Up Christmas List."

6. What is your favorite way to remember those less fortunate at Christmastime?

I like the organizations that allow you to purchase livestock for families in developing countries that will help sustain those families. I like to give chickens. Anyone who knows me knows that secretly I would like to receive chickens, as well.

7. Does it upset you to see "Xmas" instead of Christmas? How about "Happy Holidays" etc., instead of "Merry Christmas?"

If there were some law passed which prohibited my use of "Merry Christmas," I would be all upset. As it is, it just doesn't bother me like it does a lot of people. I feel like "Xmas" is just shorthand. People don't usually literally greet each other with "Xmas wishes!!!" anyway. And sometimes you just say "Merry Christmas" so much that you like an alternative just for variety's sake. I see nothing wrong with "Happy Holidays." "Winter Solstice" is so lame that it's funny.

8. How many Christmas programs are you attending this month?

It was going to be three, but it has been merely two. I'm keenly aware, as I have only one child left in school, that these Christmas programs are limited in number. When your kids are little, it seems as though they will never end. So I kid about how looooong each program is, but my girl knows I cherish every minute of it.

9. Are you dreaming of a white Christmas? Any chance of that dream becoming a reality?

In East Central Indiana, there is a good chance. I'm not dreaming of it this year, however, which is a sure sign of oldness.

10. Tell me about a Christmas present you received as a child. Pics are always nice.

Loved my Baby First Steps and Baby First Skate. Here is a pic of me with "Skate." Notice how clean the bottoms of my footie pajamas are: a testament to my mother's cleaning routine, a variation on the injunction to "Pray without ceasing" as in: "Clean without ceasing."














11. How many Christmas parties are you attending this month?

About four or five. Two pound weight gain for each party, I'm sure.

12. How do you keep yourself centered on the significance of Christmas?

I'm struggling a little bit, to be honest. But I am so looking forward to the Christmas Eve service, which I usually never get to attend. This year will probably be different, so I'm happy about that.

TOMORROW: Come back to read one of my favorite things I've written in a while: The Six Saddest Songs of Christmas.

Let's Link Arms Like The Whos in Whoville and Share Our Random Dozens & My Parents' Anniversary

HAPPY 68th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD! GOD BLESS YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL PARENTS YOU HAVE BEEN!

1. Gingerbread: For or against? Discuss.

2. Is it important to you to always stay (live) close to family?

3. Which holiday pretend character do you wish really existed?

4. Which holiday movie best represents how you feel about Christmas or life?

5. Is there a particular Christmas song that you're enjoying now? Any that you're tired of?

6. What is your favorite way to remember those less fortunate at Christmastime?

7. Does it upset you to see "Xmas" instead of Christmas? How about "Happy Holidays" etc., instead of "Merry Christmas?"

8. How many Christmas programs are you attending this month?

9. Are you dreaming of a white Christmas? Any chance of that dream becoming a reality?

10. Tell me about a Christmas present you received as a child. Pics are always nice.

11. How many Christmas parties are you attending this month?

12. How do you keep yourself centered on the significance of Christmas?

Preview of A Christmasy Random Dozen

I had my questions all ready for this week and left my notes in a notebook at work, so I'm winging it. If these questions aren't up to the usual level of complexity, nuances, irony, wit and analytical satire that you've become so accustomed to, well, golly wiggins, I'm sorry. You'll just have to humor me. Because I like humor.

1. Gingerbread: For or against? Discuss.

2. Is it important to you to always stay (live) close to family?

3. Which holiday pretend character do you wish really existed?

4. Which holiday movie best represents how you feel about Christmas or life?

5. Is there a particular Christmas song that you're enjoying now? Any that you're tired of?

6. What is your favorite way to remember those less fortunate at Christmastime?

7. Does it upset you to see "Xmas" instead of Christmas? How about "Happy Holidays" etc., instead of "Merry Christmas?"

8. How many Christmas programs are you attending this month?

9. Are you dreaming of a white Christmas? Any chance of that dream becoming a reality?

10. Tell me about a Christmas present you received as a child. Pics are always nice.

11. How many Christmas parties are you attending this month?

12. How do you keep yourself centered on the significance of Christmas?

Weekend Wrap Up, My Gift to You

Today's post was almost done sans pictures because Kristin has commandeered the main computer in the family room for homework reasons. (Ooh, she's so selfish!) But at 9:09 pm, I kicked her off and uploaded some pics just for you. I have my priorities.

All day long that girl has been working on a writing project due tomorrow that calls for two paragraphs on 10 different historical documents/speeches, such as the Preamble and JFK's big speech. To keep her at it, Jorge and I have been allotting her exactly two Skittles all day whenever she completes two paragraphs, kinda like potty training. No other food. Our wisdom astounds us. We should write a parenting book.

I think she's craving some protein, though. I guess Skittles just don't stay with you that long. Maybe I should make some more buckeyes, since the peanut butter has protein. Sounds like a good excuse reason to make another triple batch to me.

I hope you had a great weekend.

Mine was not so great.

I can't even remember Friday, but Saturday we had big plans with our small group to do a walking tour of a replica of an 1836 Prairie Village at Conner Prairie Interactive Historic Park which is about an hour from us. I had been looking forward to this event for about four weeks.

Included in this tour was a chance to see all of the gingerbread houses in a Conner Prairie competition. You all know (esp. from last year) how I LOVE gingerbread competitions. In fact, I recently set my DVR to tape any show that features the word "gingerbread" in the title. Gotta catch 'em all, Pokemon! So this night was going to be ... pure bliss!

So Saturday afternoon, after a surprise 50th birthday party for a friend (Happy Birthday, Kathy!) I headed home to dress in long underwear and big woolen scarves to prepare for the night of nights in frigid weather.

Only as I left the party, the room started to spin.

I drove home and realized I was making myself "car sick" which most people cannot do to themselves, but is a skill that I can boast of. Yay, me.

I never recovered. I took all kinds of antacids and did whatever I could to make the bad go away, but it lingered.

All the way to Conner Prairie.

I staggered through the gingerbread house display, snapping pictures like wild paparazzi because I knew I had to work fast and then throw up and die. Here ya go:

So just as our group was about to begin the holiday tour of Christmas 1836-style, Jorge had to help me to the car, and we drove home with me holding a Walmart bag to my face and my scarf tied around my head and eyes to keep out the lights of oncoming headlights, etc. I sort of looked like a nauseated ninja.

Jorge said he was afraid he would get pulled over because he was apparently kidnapping a blindfolded hyperventilating woman.

We made it home with a little gagging but no actual relief, whereupon I fell into the bed and woke this morning (Sunday, actually, as I type this) perfectly fine.

What are the chances that I would become horribly nauseated just long enough to miss the event I've been looking forward to as "the" Christmas event of 2009?

Oh, about the same chance as getting the first parking spot in the mall lot on a December Saturday, I'd say, but it happened.

This evening we did enjoy a small town Christmas event about 20 minutes away, where Kristin sang in the high school women's advanced choir in a tiny, TINY (so tiny that the word in all caps dwarfs the actual church) church while people roamed the streets outside picking up free warm cookies, peanuts, brownies, soups and cider all along the shops. It was a little like Gilmore Girls' Stars Hollow, only not as quaint, but it was hard to tell that in the dark, so it was all good.

And that's the weekend wrap up, my "gift" to you. How was yours? It has to be a better story than this, no matter what you did, unless you actually threw up or got kidnapped.

Please click on the pic to read the important message.

The Buckeye-Christmas Balls of Diet Death

You know, it feels weird to post this recipe because I feel as though I'm Mrs. Obvious, posting a recipe for something as common as a peanut butter jelly sandwich. But to my shock and disbelief, there are some of you who have uttered the words (in print) "What is a buckeye?" I checked, and no, you weren't being facetious. You really wanted the recipe.

Seriously? Are you the pod progeny of health nuts from Mars or something? (And I mean that in the most respectful way.)

Essentially, buckeyes could be likened to Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Except you can't run down to the Dollar General and pick them up for $.50. NO, you have to work for them, which probably makes devouring them like a python swallowing a baby kangaroo even more enjoyable.

Basically, you have to roll little balls of sugar and peanut butter together and dip them in melted chocolate.

Excuse me while I pull myself together.

Buckeyes are a weak spot for me, a personal Kryptonite, if you will. So once a year, sometimes bi-annually because the havoc is so devastating, I make a batch. And then I try not to eat them ALL before Christmas. Epic FAIL.

Here's how you create the magic:

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups peanut butter
1 cup butter, softened
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

6 cups confectioners' sugar
4 cups semisweet chocolate chips

Directions:
1. In a large bowl, mix together the peanut butter, butter, vanilla and confectioners' sugar. The dough will look dry. Roll into 1 inch balls and place on a waxed paper-lined cookie sheet.
2. Press a toothpick into the top of each ball (to be used later as the handle for dipping) and chill in freezer until firm, about 30 minutes.
3. Melt chocolate chips in a double boiler or in a bowl set over a pan of barely simmering water. Stir frequently until smooth. You can add a little vegetable oil if you like to make the chocolate thinner and smoother.
4. Dip frozen peanut butter balls in chocolate holding onto the toothpick. Leave a small portion of peanut butter showing at the top to make them look like Buckeyes. Put back on the cookie sheet and refrigerate until serving.

Or tell yourself you will refrigerate them until a certain date, knowing full well you will eat several each night until there are none left for the poor losers who got "The Buckeye Shaft of 2009."

You're welcome.

My Swat at the Random This Week

Oh, and look! I have the exact same number of hairs on my head at 47 as I did at 2! Isn't that precious?!

1. Which physical trait do you now accept--maybe not love, but accept--and no longer feel extremely self-conscious about?

I shall choose one: my nose, which, as you can see in the pic above, was fine as a child. But when puberty hit, so did the ugly. My kids told me I had a witch's bump once. Niiiice. A doc told me it has definitely been broken at least once, maybe twice. He said he could fix it for me. And I have large nostrils, for some reason. My whole life I was self-conscious, and I still don't love it, but I've accepted it. Now, in reference to last week's question about cosmetic surgery, let me reiterate here that I have nothing against it. And if someday I want to do something to myself, I would appreciate not being judged by the more "pious" community, if you know what I mean. Keepin' it real here.

2. This week Meredith Baxter Birney, best known as the mom on the favorite 80s sitcom "Family Ties" came out of the closet, which led me to formulate this question: Who do you think is/was the best TV mom?

You know, none of them seemed really "warm" to me. I guess they couldn't match my mom (who, in oxymoronic fashion was both warm AND critical of me, including critical of the nose. Hard to reconcile, I know, but it's true. She was lovingly critical?) Anyway, I pick Shirley Jones on the Partridge Family. I loved her demeanor.

3. Do you speak any foreign languages? Are there any you'd like to learn?

I can read French and I remember small phrases. I could not conjugate a verb, though. Yes, I'd like to learn French and Spanish.

4. Who is your personal hero?

Right now, there is a little 16 year old girl whom I've written about here who is hospitalized for critical care as a result a grave immune deficiency disease. You can read her sister's blog, Dancing Through the Rain if you would like a swift kick in the rear that will make you appreciate your life today. Both girls are fighting for their lives. Only 11 people in the world have this disease. Karly Koch, you are my hero. Kelsey, you too, Sweetie.

5. What is one holiday food that you find extremely difficult to resist over- indulging in?

How many times can I work the word "Buckeyes" into consecutive posts? Tomorrow, I post the recipe. They are killing. me.

6. Tell me about a Christmas decoration that has special meaning or sentimental value.

Last year, my sister-in-law Cathy asked us to take a photo of our house and send it to her, without any explanation. At Christmas, she presented us with a hand-painted ornament that was an exact representation of our house. I will always treasure it.

7. How do you feel about snow?

I love it. I will be tired of it soon, but I get excited every year when the first fall happens and when the city virtually shuts down due to heavy snow. The older I get, though, the more I notice my enthusiasm waning. That's oldness for you.

8. On average, how many hours of sleep do you get each night? Not that I'm jealous of any number over three or anything.

Probably 6, which should be enough, I know, but it's not.

9. Tell me about your first crush.

OH Lid. Do you want the first one or the first real one. Because the first one happened when I was so little I don't even know how I knew he was a boy and I was a girl. He was our pastor's son, and I'll bet I hadn't been to kindergarten yet. That sounds crazy, but I can honestly aver that I have never had any confusion about gender preference. My poor parents. I was born crushing on someone. But later there was a Brett S., a Bryan W., a Bryan C., a Brett A. ... and a couple more before Jorge the Jabanero.

10. You're stuck in a room for 2 hours with only a chalkboard and chalk. What will you write/draw?

When I doodle in staff meetings, I draw wildflowers and squares. But if I'm gonna be there 2 hours, I might write a blog post. Only ... how would I get it transferred?

11. Do you dress for the current temp or for the day's forecast?

This question stems from a conflict of opinions I shared with a high school friend years ago. She dressed for the forecast. I dressed for the moment I was walking out the door. She was smart. I was ... inevitably too cold, hot or wet.

12. Favorite Christmas movie is?

It's a Wonderful Life. And for the record, the moment at the telephone when Sam Wainwright calls and Mary and George are face to face at the phone? They don't make passionate scenes like that anymore. Woo. Hoooooo. Sometimes less is SO much more! I also love The Bishop's Wife with Cary Grant.


"He says it's the chance of a lifetime!"

Linkin' Around the Christmas Tree?

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1. Which physical trait do you now accept--maybe not love, but accept--and no longer feel extremely self-conscious about?

2. This week Meredith Baxter Birney, best known as the mom on the favorite 80s sitcom "Family Ties" came out of the closet, which led me to formulate this question: Who do you think is/was the best TV mom?

3. Do you speak any foreign languages? Are there any you'd like to learn?

4. Who is your personal hero?

5. What is one holiday food that you find extremely difficult to resist over- indulging in?

6. Tell me about a Christmas decoration that has special meaning or sentimental value.

7. How do you feel about snow?

8. On average, how many hours of sleep do you get each night? Not that I'm jealous of any number over three or anything.

9. Tell me about your first crush.

10. You're stuck in a room for 2 hours with only a chalkboard and chalk. What will you write/draw?

11. Do you dress for the current temp or for the day's forecast?

12. Favorite Christmas movie is?

This Week on The Random Dozen

OK, people. I'm giving you the preview even though I just ate a plate of stuffed manicotti and four buckeyes and am now seriously near comatose at 7:05 pm.

But you want the preview, so far be it for me to ... zzzzzzzzzzz.

I'm so tired that I feel as if I've already asked all of these questions before, but I do not have the energy to check. Let me know if I'm airing a re-run. I didn't mean to. I'm having carb-induced deja vu. But there is no Denzel Washington involved in this Deja Vu. Unfortunately.

1. Which physical trait do you now accept--maybe not love, but accept--and no longer feel extremely self-conscious about?

2. This week Meredith Baxter Birney, best known as the mom on the favorite 80s sitcom "Family Ties" came out of the closet, which led me to formulate this question: Who do you think is/was the best TV mom?

3. Do you speak any foreign languages? Are there any you'd like to learn?

4. Who is your personal hero?

5. What is one holiday food that you find extremely difficult to resist over- indulging in?

6. Tell me about a Christmas decoration that has special meaning or sentimental value.

7. How do you feel about snow?

8. On average, how many hours of sleep do you get each night? Not that I'm jealous of any number over three or anything.

9. Tell me about your first crush.

10. You're stuck in a room for 2 hours with only a chalkboard and chalk. What will you write/draw?

11. Do you dress for the current temp or for the day's forecast?

12. Favorite Christmas movie is?

Come on back tomorrow where you can link up and share your randomness with the world. Or about 50 other people, usually.

On the Subject of Dieting and the Holidays

Many of you know I joined a gym in May. For a long time, progress was slow-going. And then, in early November, something magical happened.

I lost quite a bit. My total since May was hovering around 15+ lbs or so, or another way to look at it, 12 inches (compiled from all over.) Yes, even my neck lost weight. Way to go, neck.

And then late November came. Something UNmagical happened.

Do I have to say any more?

Was it the buckeyes? Was it the sudden craving for those frozen, tasteless, minced together chicken patties with the crispy coating? Was it Starbucks Peppermint Mocha?

The answer is yes, yes it was. "Yes" to all of these and so much more.

Wha happen??

I don't know! I think it is holiday mania.

We've had some stress here in the Crow household. I can tell you now that for a while we thought Jorge might have the "c" word, but the biopsy came back clean. His job situation is totally weird. Mine was looking weird for a while but appears to be OK now. I have no Christmas shopping done because we're doing everything differently this year, and yet, I feel a knot form in my stomach every time someone on Facebook exclaims, "Christmas shopping? ALL DONE! WHEEEE!"

At this point, "Wheee!" can only be met by my popping a buckeye into my mouth.

So this might explain the "lapse" in weight loss progress.

But seriously, have I eaten SEVEN pounds worth of buckeyes and such over the last week??

Once again: Yes, yes I have.

To top it all off, a girl I go to church with told me this week that she remembers looking at our house several years ago when we had it up for sale. I did not know her then.

She said, "It's the weirdest thing. I can't remember much about your house, but I do remember a refrigerator magnet that said, 'Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.'"

Ahhh. That would be from when I worked at Weight Watchers.

I would like to amend that statement:

Nothing tastes as good as a buckeye washed down by a big old glass of milk chased by another buckeye.

So how are you doing with all the edible holiday temptation?

Ode to Buckeyes

I tried to resist; I really did. I have caved, and I'm not proud. But these things have a hold on me .... they draw me .... they call to me at midnight .... Thus, the ode to buckeyes.

I Hate Myself For Loving You - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts