Monday, March 15, 2010

Beware the Ides of March? I Can Think of Better Things Than Ides to Beware Of

HA! My seemingly useless English degree comes in handy every 25 years or so! This must be one of those years! I know what you're thinking: "What are the 'Ides?'"

About 4:1 on Admiral Aggie's Diamond, I'd say.

HA! That was a play on the word "odds!" But I meant "Ides."

Well, according to my 1985 BS in English (yes, it is a Bachelor of Science, Smarty Pants) "Ides" is a term used to denote the 15th of March, May, July and October. Julius Caesar was 86'd on the Ides of March, just like the seer warned him. And then William F. Buckley Shakespeare Jr. wrote a play called Julius Caesar which contained the line, "Beware the Ides of March." And we have been be-waring something we don't understand ever since.

I love the wealth of literary knowledge I gained at my alma matre, Ball State University. (Yes, that is the real name of the university where I received my BS in English.) Yes, a lot of BS from BSU.

But here in America's Hometown, I can think of scarier things to beware of today:

1. HUGE potholes. Our city is notorious for tire-gnashing, car swallowing potholes. Exhibit A: Beware our version of "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" on my street alone. When you don't anticipate one of these, all of your teeth rattle in your head, and you want to throw up from the damage you know you've just done to your car. This thing is about 6" deep.

2. Slush. All that pretty winter snow whose prettiness lasted 3 hours on the first day is now the grimiest slush you can imagine, which the hems of pants are thirsty for. After my grocery trip to Wowmart Saturday, I had a 3-inch ring of water around the hems. I had to come in the door and get those off before even putting the groceries away. Please don't tell me it's sunny and *75 in your comments today, or I will banish you from this blog. Beware the slush. Or the slap of this blog author if you go bragging about your weather.

3. March Madness. In Indiana, Hoops is Evah-thang. In Florida, you have a pool in every backyard. Here, you have a beaten-up, mostly net-less basketball goal sunk into cement at the end of every driveway. Around this time of year, the word "bracket" pops up in every conversation in every venue, including weddings and funerals and from adjacent bathroom stalls. I don't speak "Bracket." Beware the mad fans of b-ball.

4. Pinching. There is a clever saying: "No green on March 17 means you gonna scream." Actually, I just made that up. But we do pinch the greenless here. How about where you are? Beware the pinchers.

5. Easter candy. It's out there, people. Some villainous Cadbury Eggs tried to reach out and grab me at the grocery, but I fleed. Flew. Fled. Whatever it takes!

What are YOU bewaring of today??


Anonymous said...

I know a high school Latin teacher married to another HS Latin teacher. Their son was born on March 15. How cool is that?!
It rained several inches over the weekend, which meant that the rivers flooded and the puddles covered up the potholes in many places = washed out roads AND land-mine potholes. When I wished out loud for the potholes to be filled in soon, I wasn't thinking "with water" LOL!
I'm trying to pretend that there is no Easter candy hiding in the pantry. I'm afraid those Reeces PB Cups are going to grab me by the lapels and demand to be eaten.

Melanie @ This Ain't New York said...

Et tu Lind-ay?

Nerds unite.

Pamela said...

I was once again reminded of the Muncie/pothole situation last Thursday when I was in town. Nate must have thought that I had taken some of his seizure medication because of the way I was driving. I was trying hard to save the tires that we had put on my car not too long ago but I think it was a hopeless cause.

The Bookworm said...

I live in your transatlantic pothole counterpart. Unfortunately I'm always driving over them, so don't get a chance to take pictures. I did a small pothole survey on my blog recently. Rhode Island is apparently bad, as is Bedfordshire, England (here!). Move twenty miles into Oxfordshire and you enter pothole free heaven, so I'm told. Oh, and Australia also has pothole blackspots.

No green here whatsoever, though greetings card shops stock a small and optimistic selection of St.Patrick's Day cards. That is as far as it goes. No slush either, though we get plenty of rising damp from rain puddles. And I don't beware anything on the Ides of March as it is my eldest daughter's birthday (15 today).

(PS. I found your blog recently via your Random Dozen.)

Kim said...

Our potholes are so big they are named on the map.

I would never tell you it's 75°. Here in the southern hemisphere where it's still technically summer, we woke up to a chilly 60°. I'm wearing a sweater as I type this. Unseasonably cool.

I think my friends brought it with them when they came from Michigan to visit. But I have already exacted my revenge because I told them it would be HOT and they only brought light summer clothes. teeheehee

Mama Belle said...

Yes, we pinch. Who came up with that anyway?

Ditch those Cadbury eggs and try the Dove truffle eggs. You won't be disappointed.

Mocha with Linda said...

I promise that I won't tell you that it was 75 here yesterday.

It was 85.

As for slush, they sell that at Sonic.

(Wow - spring break is fun; I have much more time to read blogs and harass their owners!")

I know about the Ides of March, but I've never heard that Ides referred to the 15th of other months.

We pinch the non-green-wearers down here too.

Easter candy was on the shelf at 12:01 Feb. 15. (THAT should be another Ides. What great IDEaS I have!)

I pay no attention to BB until March when I participate in our church staff bracket challenge. I did have one lucky day last year when I was in first place. I just happened to pick the correct Cinderella teams.

Joyce said...

Well, it has rained non-stop since Friday here so I have nothing to worry about.

I may have some Easter candy in my pantry. I'm hosting Bunco tomorrow and you have to put candy on the tables right? And I opened the jelly beans yesterday thinking I'd just have one or two but every few hours I had 'one or two'. Must stay away today so there are some left for Bunco tomorrow!

O Mom said...

I too am so scared of the Easter candy. Why must I have no will power?

Jenny said...

I am trying to stay away from the Easter candy, but they put it at the front of our Grocery Store and it calls my name while I am at the check out.

Susanne said...

Oh yeah, the potholes. I'll bet our pot holes are bigger than your potholes. LOL. And yes, we do the pinch here too.

What am I bewaring? The darn "Spring Ahead", lose an hour, set your clocks ahead an hour thing our province does to us every spring. And apparently I didn't beware enough because it got me big time yesterday and left me reeling with only about 4 hours sleep.

LynnMarie said...

No nice weather here, we are on our 3rd day of rain! Sump pumps are runing everywhere.
What am I afraid. Have you seen the swim suits in the stores yet? Yes they are out and it would take 4 of them to fit me. I'm not huge mind you but boy are then tiny! That is what I'm afraid of, I like the long sleeve sweat shirt and baggy pants. Now the shorts and swim suits are out!! :-(

Vicki said...

I'm be waring I don't live in Indiana!

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

And you SHOULD pinch "the greenless" says this bonafide Irish lass!

I cannot WAIT for the warmer temps here in Sweet Home Alabama... they are a lot longer in coming than usual. ;(

Anonymous said...

Teenage students with Senioritis. I am subbing until I can find a permanent teaching position, and my current, long-term assignment has me in two classrooms of seniors who don't care one iota for being there. Makes for some freaky mornings.

SouthLakesMom said...

If Caesar had only known, he'd have said beware the ides of April...because we know what happens next month. Ick. The government takes our hard earned money and promptly misspends it.

Green? My son's school has made it all about "green and peace." He plans to wear a shirt that says, "My Dad SERVED In the GREEN ZONE - OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM" I told him if he gets suspended I'll support him. He gets a lot of flack for all of his pro-US troops shirts.


Anonymous said...

Ha! Love the whole Easter candy thing!! Oh, the will power to resist such chocolate wonder.

40winkzzz said...

Hmmm... well, I already gave you credit and thanks for the info in my FB status in the comment section. So why am I being sent here again? Is there something I missed? I'm not the least bit annoyed, just perplexed. (So perplexed, in fact, that I am going to ask this twice.)