Wednesday, November 03, 2010

They Call me "Mom" or "Moses" ("Momses?")

Strange the things moms will do when they're worried about their kids.

Background: My youngest girl has been having some arrhythmia over the past few months--mild, intermittent episodes coupled with some other worrisome symptoms. To make a long story short, she has had an EKG, chest-ray, lab work done, and is now wearing a heart monitor. We have no idea what's going on but trust that it's going to be OK.

However, we are talking about the Crow household here, so even in the midst of this time of concern, jokes are flying. It's what we do.

For instance, one night she was being ornery, and I told her that for dinner, I was fixing her fettuccine alfredo. I asked, "Do you know why?" and she replied, "No." I said, "Because they call it 'heart attack on a plate.'" She laughed a big outburst belly laugh because she's warped like we are.

Another time, she was looking over some birthday clothes I recently bought. Like most kids, she wanted to wear one piece early. She said, "Can I wear this now?" I said, "It's not your birthday yet." And she said, "It could be my 'Sorry You're Having a Heart Attack' gift."

But I do worry about her, of course. Because beneath all of my snark and immaturity, I am a momma. And she is my baby.

So this morning, running late, she zipped past me, and I called after her, "Do you have your yearbook money? Kleenex? (She has a cold.) Do you have your lunch money? Why aren't you wearing warmer clothes?" (We had a visible frost.)

George reminded me that she would need to scrape the frost off of her windows. In an instant, I pictured her in thin clothing, nose running, heart monitor beeping, and her scraping like she was in Siberia. I couldn't stand it.

So I threw on my large robe and went out to check on her, keeping a copy of a John Ortberg sermon I had printed off in my hand because in my haste, I didn't lay the sermon down.

She was in the car with tiny portholes scraped right in front of her face and one on the passenger side.

Good grief.

I made her hand me the scraper, and I scraped as she sat inside warming up the car. Finally, I decided that was enough.

Well, actually, she opened her door and said, "MOM! I'm going to be late!" so I stopped.

And then I saw a passer-by looking at me from the road. What they saw: A barefoot woman in a large white robe holding a stack of paper in one hand and a scraper in the air in the other hand.

And then it hit me: I look like Moses--Ten Commandments in one hand, raised staff in the other, barefooted, robed in white like he was on top of the mountain, very intense.

And then I high-tailed it back in my house because-wowee, frost hurts bare feet once you're off the mountain and your kid is pulling away.

Moral of the story: Strange the things moms will do when they're worried about their kids.

Can you relate?


Joyce said...

Oh I can relate all right!

Praying all those tests result in a clean bill of health for your 'baby'

Nel said...

Ohhh Lid can I relate! lol I can just see you out there and I could hear her saying, Mom I'm going to be late, in that voice, the one that pretty much tells us we are crazy, no clue! But then again we are moms. Kidding aside will keep her in prayers, heart problems can be scary. I am glad they figured mine out, now I am like the Energizer Bunny, as long as I keep my battery in check I keep going and going. Can you tell? lol.
until next time... nel

Amari said...

Yes! I can relate, lol. I'm only laughing because I love the visual of seeing you outside in your robe and bare feet on a cold morning. It's still not as bad as the memory of my own Mom chasing after our school bus in her leopard nightie so that she could stop the bus and get us on for school. Of course, all of the kids were laughing when we got on and my sister and I tried to slink on without being noticed. It sounds like you're a GREAT Mom; especially if you're willing to throw your dignity to the wind for the cause (just kidding!)..

LynnMarie said...

I hear you! I also understand about worry so I'm praying for you all. It's a stressful time. My heart goes out to all of you.

Lisa Laree said...

Linda, I honestly laughed right out loud as I read through this. I can *so* relate...and would've done the same thing (cept I put on sweats before leaving my bedroom).

I'll pray that Your Baby has nothing serious going on...

Mocha with Linda said...

Oh I can definitely relate. Being both a mom and a nurse is a deadly combination.

Pun intended.

Eager to hear the results of her monitor test.

Lea said...

For sure, I can relate and even though mine are now grown, it doesn't matter. Moms always are concerned about their kiddos. That's just the way it is......

Do hope there's nothing serious wrong with your daughter. Do keep us posted.

A happy Wednesday to you!

Dena said...

I can TOTALLY relate! LOL

SouthLakesMom said...

I love the humor at your house, and how you defuse the anxiety with it. Laughter is a gift from God. So glad that you and little girl (yes she is) are so close. Prayers for her safety and well-being.

DebC said...

Oh, yeah!
It's the mom-thing.
Other moms understand.

Susanne said...

Totally relate Linda!

A blonde Moses, eh? I'd love to be in that passerby's head to hear what he was thinking! LOL.

Sorry to hear Kristin is going through all that. Praying that everything will right itself!!

Debbie's L'Bri said...

I can relate... Why don't kids need clothes when it is freezing cold outside?

Jody said...

What mom can't relate??? But I think you tell it so well. :)

On an encouraging note, there are such things as "benign arrythmias" - I know because I have one. Did the whole EKG, echocardiogram, Holtor monitor for 1 week thing. So praying for that for Kristin.

Julie said...

Linda, you always crack me up. I love your stories... they are so real and relatable! You actually make us women feel normal!

I'm so sorry to hear about your girl. I pray that you all will find wisdom and revelation of what's really going on.

Bless you!

Anonymous said...

Can I relate? What is this? Rhetorical question day?

Of course I can relate.

My girl hurt her knee in 9th grade and had surgery and rehab. You better believe that I was in full-mama-mode every time she took the soccer field after that. In fact, it was all I could do not to meet one young girl in the parking lot after a game in which she'd tried repeatedly to take out my daughter, who was still sporting an athletic brace. My daughter soothed me by telling me that she was probably going to deck her as well if we didn't hightail it out of there.

Being a mom means you run to the grocery store during your planning period and get your boy-child a sub sandwich, chips, drink, and piece of cake because you didn't have time to go on a proper grocery shopping trip...for the fourth month in a row.

Being a mom means you yell out of the window, "Make good choices" when you've just dropped that child off at school (not cool when said child is 16).

Being a mom means you get up at 4am to drive seven hours to watch your daughter play in a very early soccer game.

Yeah. I've done a few weird mom things.