Saturday, December 01, 2012

Recent Facebook Posts:

Running errands in flip-flops and no jacket, only sunglasses needed. Take that, December 1st!

Kristin just used the self-scan checkout at Meijer and enjoyed that experience immensely. I fully expect her to change her major to "Checkout Girl."

Had to have been a man who invented fluorescent lighting. A woman would have immediately noticed how it magnifies wrinkles and smashed it with a shovel like it was a naked mole rat on Meth. Kill it twice! ~ Just a random bathroom lighting moment

Just decorated the only spot in the house safe from the you-know-who's. No Christmas tree, live or artificial, would deserve the massive destruction it would receive from them. Just ask my ficus tree. It has been pulled down and mauled about 6 times by the you-know-who's. Last time, we found them quietly sitting there by the downed tree, contemplating their combined power, I'm sure.

Was just feeling smug for using my phone as a flashlight to light my way to the bathroom at night, when I stopped using it as a light and started reading Facebook. Knocked my makeup bag off the counter spilling contents loudly all overcfloor. "Good morning, household!"

Yesterday Katie and I were texting about her preparing her baby's nursery. I texted, "When I was expecting you, I stenciled beers with balloons on the walls." She replied, "I'll go one better and stencil kegs on Josie's walls." *Legacy!* (BEARS! I stenciled teddy BEARS with balloons!)

Couldn't figure out why Josiah has been yelling, "Buh!" "Bo!" And "Buh-Bo" at Zoe lately. Turns out his dad has a dog named "Bo." So I think he thinks that "Bo" is the word for "dog." The real Bo is a Pit Bull. I wonder if it would boost Zoe's tiny ego if she knew she were being put in the same category as a tough guy, like calling Ryan Seacrest "Clint Eastwood."

 wish there were an app/game where you could own a Christmas tree farm and put a little inn on the acreage with an ice skating pond and you could control snowfall, etc. *If I had Michael Jackson's Neverland Money*

Wearing sweatpants and mismatched socks to Walmart. If my mom could see me, she would be like the parents in A Christmas Story after Ralphie is blinded by soap poisoning: "Daughter, what has brought you to this lowly state?!"

So this morning Laylah ate some dog food, and Josiah pulled on a thermometer attached to the window, broke the wire and tried to swallow the Velcro tabs on it. I don't think I'm ready for the 2nd year.

One of these is a mouse that will move your cursor. One is a plastic box that feels like a mouse but only goes "scratchy scratch" on your desk and will not move the cursor not matter how many swoopy circles you make with it. *50 yr confessions*

4 comments:

Mocha with Linda said...

You always give me a smile! I saw most of these when they happened but I did miss a few. Glad to catch them here!

Deondra said...

I just love reading your posts!

STILLMAGNOLIA said...

Loved this post.Our tree goes up....we have a male doxie who sees and tree and does what is natural. We had a cat once...who climbed up the tree and dropped it like Paul bunyan would a sequoia. Your beers for bears made me laugh out loud. I went to an auction in Greenville, SC on Thanksgiving night and texted my daughter about how good the "suction" was. I need a phone with bigger letters or ones that are spaced further apart.

STILLMAGNOLIA said...

What a wonderful story. I loved every minute of the details of having little ones in the house.