Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Multiple Bang Style Personality Disorder

I'd like to show you the only movie star with whom I'll ever have a physical trait in common: Carole Lombard, who also was a Hoosier, by the way.

I bet you can guess what it is. It's certainly not a smoldering, sexy glare, now, is it.

It's that thing. That billboard over my eyes. "The Lombard," as I call it. I've disliked it all my life, along with other facial things (long nose, huge nostrils, moon face). In photos, I literally have to have George place his head BEHIND my head so that I don't appear to be two inches from the camera while he is at normal range. He knows the drill: we get a photo, he backs up a smidge.

 My head has always been big.

                             Exhibit A: Baby picture.
                   Dang. How did my neck hold that up?                                                                    

Normally, I wear bangs of some kind. Lately I've been sporting what would normally be a heavy, blunt bang, except 14 hairs that make up bangs can never look heavy:

But then I started to feel like I was reincarnating this:

I think I look rather pensive for a second grader, don't you? I was probably dreaming of being the line leader again, the best classroom job ever.

I'm not big on side swept bangs for myself. I think it reminds me of 8th grade. Yikes.

George never has much to say about what I wear or how I wear my hair. I just can't get an honest opinion out of him. In 29 years of marriage, the only preference he ever uttered was that he liked me with bangs better than without.

So I guess that's another reason I've kept the fringe.

But I just can't settle the issue, and every day of my life, I decide to let them grow out and then promptly trim them. Anyone else have Multiple Bang Style Personality Disorder?


Lisa Laree said...

I wear bangs because they cover the furrows on my forehead that add at least 6 1/2 years to my face.

But I have a big ol' cowlick right in the middle. The girl who had the curl, that's me.

I can usually get them to lie straight for a bit, but the humidity of an Alabama summer quickly frizzes them up.

But I have to keep them for camouflage...sigh...

The Farbers said...

Me and Valerie Bertonelli have the same bangs. Too short and they feather 70's style, and little girl cute. Too long and they grow forward with a vengeance and hang straight and heavy over my already very dark eyebrows. They need so much attention! Just behave bangs. Be good. Lid, I feel your pain.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Been there. Done that. I have a cowlick from hell at my bang area, so bangs aren't great for me. Of course, that doesn't stop me from cutting them every few years just for the reminder.
Isn't our hair such a wondrous and tormenting part of being a woman? I think yours is fabulous in your recent picture; your 14 bang hairs are super cute.
Thanks for the laugh.
Oh, and it's a hair day….I also blogged about my newest 'cut'!

Kay said...

I have always always had bangs because I have a forehead that won't quit. So my face just makes more sense with them. And I like them. : )

Mocha with Linda said...

Oh, you and me, my friend! I've always had a "big face" and a big forehead and have had to have some kind of bang. I've been trying to get them to be a bit "wispier" lately. Haven't succeeded. And one side does this weird swirl, like a backwards C that I have to fight.

Makes me want to "bang" my head against the wall! :-)

Kimberly Hoyt said...

Oh Linda, I've laughed reading your post AND all the comments :) We should all just start a new support group: Big Foreheads Unite!

Although I have to say, I love the look you're sporting now. It looks GREAT!

My mama said I had a "high" forehead and when I finally understood what she meant by that, I was horrified. I've had bangs ever since. Any attempt to do something else with my hair is an utter failure because, HELLO!, Large Forehead Snydrome takes over. I literally cannot abide having my forehead out there for all the world to see.

And it sounds like most of us also have cowlicks all up in our bangs too. No matter what I do, how many products I use, the cowlick on the left WILL HAVE IT'S WAY and cause the hairs in that area to poke out farther than any of the others. Don't even want to think about what will happen when those hairs go all gray and boingy.