Saturday, January 05, 2008

Speak Fritalian, Anyone?

Every weekend, my husband takes my daughter, and sometimes our college son if he's home, to Starbucks early, early in the morning. In a cold car. In pre-dawn, frigid Indiana. They love this time with their dad, but they love the "stuff" there, too. Now, I love coffee, hence the words in the header, but I'm not fancy about it. I'll drink anything. Instant. McDonald's. Church coffee bar. And Dunkin Donuts.

And I'm a pretty down-to-earth girl. Hence also, I like the words, "Small, medium, and large." Maybe even an occasinal "Supersize." But talles and grandes and venti-ays and whoop-i-oh-ays, they just confuse me. (In fact, I stopped volunteering at our church coffee bar because the terminology and making specialties for people waiting in long lines freaked me out.)

And the names ... "espresso con pannas" and "macchiatos." Help.

It's all good stuff. I don't turn down Starbucks (Marina!), but something in me just resonates with this Dunkin Donuts commercial. Because sometimes, the best pastry is just a funky old donut, and the best coffee is plain ol' joe. Maybe I should've named the blog, "2nd Cup O' Joe."



23 comments:

Jen said...

I cant open your You tube.....but I totally get the coffee thing. What is a Coffee Bar?

Macromoments said...

I laughed my way through your post, because I'm the same way--just give me a medium vanilla latte and I'm happy. In fact, a Starbucks gift card has been burning a hole in my wallet since October, simply because I'm underwhelmed by the place.

Glad to have found your blog through Lisa's Preacher's Wife blog.

Melanie said...

I stick by my theory that Starbucks is just a liquid donut. I can still drink any coffee- except for the stuff at the gas station. That's where I draw the line.

Missy said...

Oh, I am so happy to hear this. I am SO INTIMIDATED by Starbucks. I stand there, trying to figure out what it all means, trying SO HARD to seem cool, but it takes me so long to read and think...and the whole time people behind me, the Starbucks Experts, are getting impatient...oh my gosh. It is STRESS. I just don't need that adrenaline rush right before my caffeine rush, know what I mean?

We need to form some kind of support group. You reckon? (see how I threw reckon in there?)

marina said...

I know wnat you mean Linda, I get soooo,confused when I get to starbucks and I hear everyone say those words grandes,macchiato's ect.. I must stand up the line when I am there I keep asking "well what is that and what does that have"??and I know the peolpe befind me think I must be from a nother world !! b/c I really don't know how to order unless I have my daughter there then she will tell me ahead of time or ny friend form Boston she will tell me everthing..Its just so cazy what ever happen to a cup of coffee??my husbands says you can't find them anymore." I say give me plain coffee and some creamer and I am happy!But I understand it's a new thing and some people have there cards ready for these kinds of coffee that they can't live with out.(for christmas my husband got a starbucks coffee gift card for 20.00$ yes) and we don't know what to do with it? Now if I could have The preacher wife and you and other peolpe form the blog then I could treat you all!! marina. PS. any advise on the coffee I will take PSS.I am happy you like my coffee

Kelly @ Love Well said...

What a funny commercial, Linda. I'm quite fluent in Fritalian, but it still made me laugh.

Plus, for reasons that are beyond my comprehension, there is only one Dunkin' Donuts in the whole state of Minnesota (and it's in a small town two hours from here in the middle of nowhere). Wouldn't you think the cold, dark north would be ripe territory for sugar-laden carbs with coffee?!?

Susanne said...

Too funny and I totally relate. I can never remember the names of the sizes and show my uncultured ways by just ordering sm, med, large anyway.

What a neat thing for your hubby to do with the kids.

Linda said...

Jen, our coffee bar is similar to a counter a Starbucks. At our church, it's in our youth building (the one I work in). It's just like a Starbucks, which is why I had to stop volunteering!

Connie@Little Red Hearts From God said...

THANK YOU... there is someone else out there that likes just the good ol' jo....yo.. that be me!! and now you...

plus... think of all the calories we are saving...

this was hilarious....

connie

PJ said...

Now listen y'all. If this here l'il country gurl from th Ozarks kin lern Fratalian, Y'all kin too!!! I jest pertend I understand it all and ever time I says th xact same thang, "Grandey Moca Frappuccino" (Thet thar's the icey un) OR jest "Grandey Moca" Oncet in a grate wile I seys "Ven Tay moca" That's iffen I rilly am hankerin fer some caffeine!

Love the ad!!!! Y'll is rilly funny!

rmpl said...

As I was looking through the other videos to watch I noticed one that was Starbucks vs. Dunkin' Donuts. We are NOT alone. Dunkin' Donuts was what it seemed the average wants. Coffee drinkers Unite. :)

Leti said...

I just happened to stop by your blog, I needed this laugh. The first time I went with my friend to Starbuck (who knew the Starbucks lingo) she finally nudged me and told me I had to be quick to order cause there was some angry experts behind us, not very patient. Love the commercial. Thanks for the Laugh!

Mel's World with Melissa Mashburn said...

Can I just tell you that I completely LOVE Starbuck's for their specialty drinks, but Dunkin' is the BEST for regular coffee!

It can be overwhelming to make an order while there is a big line, I can't imagine how stressful it might be to actually prepare the order!

Thanks for the giggle!
Melissa

Fresh Girl said...

My little brother speaks that language. He has a slight...shall we say, Starbucks problem. Mostly it's a problem to their bank account, but I think it's becoming a problem for his waist, too. ;)

annie said...

I so get this. Coffee with cream-I'm good to go. I think it is a conspiracy for people to have to think before their coffee in the morning, which is just wrong. Happy 2nd cup of joe to you! Love this post. annie

Laura said...

Linda, I'm in your corner all the way. Dunkin' Donuts, etc. Starbucks is so over-the-top. Just gimme a small black coffee, dang it! :)

Cyndy said...

I love to watch my husband order at Starbuck's, it goes something like this, ahem,
HUSBAND: I'll have a large mocha with nonfat milk.
BARISTA: You would like a venti mocha skinny?
HUSBAND: No, I want a large mocha with nonfat milk.
BARISTA: uh...yeah...(under her breath) a venti mocha skinny... That will be $4.50 please.

I wish I was that unintimidated by the cute little baristas...I have been trying to learn fritalian...Husband just refuses. :)

Connie@Little Red Hearts From God said...

I have something for you my friend...

Connie

Ann said...

ahhh it also reminds me of the first time I went in a Subway to order a sandwich, I was so intimidated. Of course now it's not at all. I tend to get the same couple of different things at Starbucks and I feel like an idiot saying talle or grande, etc.

Susan said...

I'm so glad I don't like coffee...it confuses me too! I love the commercial, thanks for sharing.

:-) Susan

Life In Progress said...

Maybe I have no business at your blog since I can only stomach the aroma of coffee and not the taste :) But even being at a Starbuck's with my husband makes me nervous, and I'm not even ordering anything. What size, what flavor, what toppings, what sort of whip? It's enough to make me need one of those big brownies they have there. Now that I could probably figure out.

Beth said...

I'm with you! I actually really like McDonald's coffee and I think Dunkin Donuts has THE BEST coffee! Starbucks just tastes bitter to me. I guess I'm just not sophisticated enough for it!

Heth said...

Write this down:

"I'll take a Venti Caramel Macchiato w/ Whip."

Now head to your nearest Starbucks and say those words. You will not be disappointed. And you won't be hungry for the rest of the day either, but whateve...