Monday, April 28, 2008

The Day I Got My Treat, and How the Big Woman Paid For it Twice

Message from Zoe: "Sometimes, usually Saturdays, the Big Woman comes in the door making a lot of racket, swinging noisy plastic bags and barking at the other people besides me in the house.

Every once in a while, she opens one bag and lowers something down to me, and that is like manna falling from heaven. It's my newest love interest. My raison d'etre. My calling in life: a treat.

For some reason, this time she bought a bone wider than my head. She told Alpha that this one is supposed to last 30% longer than the average treat. I considered that a challenge to my mandible agility, and I immediately began my shock and awe plan of bone decimation.

At first I couldn't even pick it up, and inexplicably, everyone thought that was hilarious. So I dragged it and tilted it and finally got the hang of carrying and burying it. Only I couldn't leave it buried because it was calling my name like chocolate calls the Big Woman.

Unfortunately for the BW, the 30% more invincible treat melted between my teeth, paws, facial hair and carpet fibers. So the next morning, when BW put in her contacts, she gasped and fell to her knees wailing about the stoopid rug. And then, even though I had had a bath only 48 hours earlier, she made me go into the mud room and get my paws and face washed, which I detest with the white-hot detestation that Hillary reserves for flouncy skirts and baking cookies.

So I watched BW get a wet cloth and Woolite and commence cleaning the entire area rug as if I had gone poo on it, but I promise I had not.

I decided this was her problem because she bought the treat for me, not I for myself. So I went to my bed and watched her pick up every crumb, run the sweeper, wash spots, and run the sweeper again.

But the best part was, I watched her from a top my new princess bed, which has a removable cover for washing. I smiled because I happen to know there's a another 30% stronger bone waiting for me in the laundry room. And I happen to know that it's only a matter of time until she will think I'm "too cute," and I will have it in my paws again. That is why I smile in this picture. Power to the Cuteness! Power to the Mandibles!"


Fran said...

They hold the power don't they?!

What a darling princess bed too.
My goodness....she has got it made in the shade! :)

Muddy said...

Indeed Bayley our cocker spaniel counts of the power of his cuteness too. Funny how we fall prey to it time and time again.

Cute story-cute doggie on the pink bed.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

I think Zoe is part Ewok.

Queen B said...

Go get that bone for that cute girl...!

Susanne said...

Yes the power of the house is in the smallness and cuteness around here too. Which obviously means I don't have it.

Darlene R. said...

She is so cute and her typing skills are simply amazing! ;)

How do you get her to lay on her new bed? We buy Sally a new bed and she still sleeps in the chair. I don't get it!

Cyndy said...

Zoe dear...where did the BW get your bone? Nobody ever gets me a treat like that. They are usually little crunchy ones and I only get them...well very rarely. Maybe if Big Man and the Cat Lady knew about the 30% longer treat they would let me have that. Until they do I'll just chew on wood chips from the wood pile.
Your Yellow Lab Friend, Chewy
P.S. Cool princess bed!

Grace said...

Next time Zoe needs a vacation spot...please phone us. Max would love to show her our little Sunny, CA.

Susan said...


You are ONE sneaky little dog! But you ARE irresistably CUTE!!

Great post!

Sarah said...

She is so stinkin cute! I bought an adorable bed for our weiner dog...he has never gotten in it...ever. He thinks the couch is his...the smell confirms that he is right.

Anonymous said...

Zoe, you look like you are so happy on your princess that a smile I see?

Cute and hilarious post!

Ann said...

Seriously that is the cutest little dog I've ever seen. Look at her on her princess bed! My kids want a dog again (we had a pug) and I didn't think I'd ever want another dog because of the shedding and the snorting and slobbering. But I could have a Zoe. Yes, I could. She is too too cute.

Mocha with Linda said...

Yeah, they try to look all cute and innocent. It's just a ploy.

A Stone Gatherer said...

Ya we know who runs this house too! He has his own throne that he sits on each day and watches his subjects! Last time our Majesty got a treat like that we did have a poo mess! Not good!!!

Love Bears All Things said...

Love you Zoe and your post about your BW and her chocolate had me laughing outloud. You are precious.
Mama Bear

Jodie said...

I L O V E when you post from Zoe's perspective!! As a matter of fact, that very first post of yours I ever read was from Zoe's perspective, and that was a clincher for me. I've been a fan and a favorite ever since. :) I am your favorite, right?
Aw who am I kidding? You never bought me a treat that's 30% larger than regular treats. And I definitely didn't get a furry pink bed from which I can perch and smile.
Oh well. Maybe I can be your second favorite. :)
Aw, thank won't work either. That place is reserved for your very close and personal friend Clinton Kelly.
Today's not my day.

Breanne Vasquez said...

After the weed post I had to see what Zoe looks like. Too cute.