Monday, June 16, 2008

The White Pants Diet

Let's talk diet.

Exhibit A above = Veggies that I must eat almost exclusively since I put on four pounds in Gatlinburg (maybe I ate a bear cub in my sleep?). Inexplicably, before Gatlinburg, I purchased white pants to wear at She Speaks. White pants + 4 fluffy pounds = not good.


Exhibit B = Starbucks Mocha Mint Chip Frappuccino made with creme, which is what I bought my 15 year-old today. She let me taste it. She allowed me to taste it.

I almost couldn't drive home after that taste, swerving across lines, taking the curbs around turns, tires screeching,partially losing consciousness, people yelling at me, "Get off the road, Drunk!" And that was just from one sip. You may not like chocolate and mint, but the mint is not overpowering. It's not just delicious--it's ma-licious.

The only thing overpowering me was lack of willpower. But then I thought of the white pants, and I knew I couldn't afford it, if you know what I mean.

I think I have discovered a new diet, the White Pants Diet, which works kind of like revulsion therapy: you picture yourself all lumpy with panty lines in white pants, and then you have the strength of 10 skinny Grinches. Try it. If you're woman enough.

25 comments:

Chatty Kelly said...

You have great will power, because I drank the coffee version of that drink, complete with CHOCOLATE whipped cream and it was unbelievable.

I think I might have to go buy a pair of white pants. I will use an diet that works!

-Kelly

R.L.Scovens said...

Hang in there Honey!LOL You're doing great!

Mocha with Linda said...

I'm impressed you stopped with one sip. I had the whole thing, like chatty kelly, with the chocolate whipped cream (and chocolate syrup drizzled on the whipped cream!) and it was scrumptious.

But now I need to do some serious white pants dieting. Only thing is, vegetables don't taste like mocha.

Paula (SweetPea) said...

"Get off the road drunk!" love it...HILL-lar-E-US!!!

I'm on the all cover pant diet...that is...imaginig me in any pants and all my pants that seem to be too tight. I lost some weight last fall (about 15 lbs) and I think I've put on 10. UGG...UGLY. I better stick to all veggies too.

Maggie - Mom of Six said...

Still laughing......I have my own "white pants" and now that I have that picture in my mind, I think leaving out the ice cream in my diet will be a bit easier!

Debbie said...

Hey, if this "white pants" diet works maybe you should pass them around like "The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants" pants.

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

I have not yet braved white pants...ever! You are one brave woman...I feel like I should say, May the force be with you as you embark on your white pants diet ;)

MoodyBlue said...

Guess what Linda - ANY Frappuchino from Starbucks can be made in "Light" form. I get a java chip light frap all the time. It is made with skim milk and splenda instead of the "good" stuff and it tastes equally as good with 1/3 the calories.

Just thought I would share this WONDERFUL tidbit. LOL!

sara said...

okay, I'll hold you to your white pants diet if you will hold me to my white pants diet!!! As we drove home from kansas last night (my third trip in one month...which equals NO exercise and LOTS of food) I told my husband that monday starts the diet...I like the white pants diet better...worse mental picture..works for me!!

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Wow, you really are brave. Anything white on my lower half could only be described as disastrous. :)

thouartloosed said...

I've discovered that white pants come in large sizes.

Mary said...

I love your blog! I read it a lot. I don't remember leaving a comment but that doesn't mean I haven't. :)

Today the Starbuck's frappuccino caught my eye! I get one EVERY week, usually on Monday's. Yep, I had one this morning. I call it my "Happy Day" It is always easier to get up and going knowing this treat is waiting. I get a coffee frappuccino but I don't care for the cream on top.

I LOVE your sense of humor and your ability to just be free. I haven't been blogging very long but
my post are usually serious and structured. I can laugh and talk and joke with friends but when I start to write I find myself getting serious about life.

Oh, well, this isn't about me it's about YOU! Your blog is really neat!

mary

Mary said...

Well, you have serious post and thoughts sprinkled with your delightful fun and wit. There are so many problems and heartache around us that we NEED laughter and I'm so glad the Lord made you just the way you are! :)
I may not comment very much but I'm sure reading and enjoying!

mary

PJ said...

Revulsion therapy!! Great idea! The White Pants Diet. (Do a book proposal for the white pants diet!!! Do a book of book proposals!!!) And I'm delighted to know that Starbucks has lite version of the Frap drinks!! I'll try next time. Today at the department store, I was looking for the Petite Fat department and could NOT find one!! I seriously need a White Pants Diet!

Jamie said...

White pants diet...too funny! I found your blog through Kelley at Aroma of Joy. I'm glad I came over, you've got a great blog.

Darnelle said...

If that ain't motivation, I don't know WHAT is!!!!

Chris said...

Oooohhh you are so funny! I love the Starbucks drunken driving impairment! And I love the white pants diet. Hang in there...you're gonna look so very cute in those pants.

Susan said...

I'm sure you look fine. I know, however, how frustrating a few pesky pounds can be.

Hugs,

Susan

Jerri Phillips said...

I knew there was a reason I don't own white pants...

40winkzzz said...

And while you're at it, you can try the "Dressing Room Mirror Exercise Program". I did this a couple years ago and it's very simple. (1) Go shorts-shopping. (2) Get a good glimpse of your thighs in the dressing room mirror. (3) Spend the rest of your summer getting up early to get in a 3-to-6-mile bike ride while it is still fairly cool out. (4) Hope your thighs notice all this effort. (If you really don't want to do step #3, you can always substitute, "Avoid dressing room mirrors for the rest of your life.")

Now if you'll pardon me, I need to go shopping for shorts and white pants.

Linda Vujnov said...

Oh my! My mom and I totally saw a white panted, lumpy lady today, bending over while cleaning a kiosk in the middle of the mall!!! Were you there? ;)

Deirdre said...

oh my word, what a great diet idea. hehehehehehehehehe

Jodie said...

"It's not just delicious -- it's ma-licious" !!!!! Linda! What are you doing to me? Are you trying to make my brains blow through my nose?! Don't DO that to me! That is some fancy footwork with the words there. I bow to you. If I had some sort of mantle to pass, well, I would probably keep it, but the right thing to do would be to pass it on to you. You are funny. Ya heard? Funny.
I had love me some Linda. :)

Sarah@Life in the Parsonage said...

Linda, you've inspired me with the white pants...linking to you in my post tomorrow :)

Colored With Memories said...

I just came over here from Life in the Parsonage. Love your blog!

Too bad they don't have that mint drink in the skinny version!?!

I'll be back to visit soon!