Saturday, May 16, 2009

What Not To ... Say to Amy Grant

So I won this contest in which the biggest prize is a phone call from Amy Grant. This is an event beyond excitement for me. It is also an anxiety-inducing event. Please read and share in my delirium as I await Amy's call.

Oh, the Amy Grant anxiety.

Let me try to explain what this is like. The anxiety is two-fold.

Part of the trauma is that I don't know when the call is coming, so it's kind of like waiting for the UPS man to bring me something of great value, like a Snuggie.

I just keep watching out the window [actually, checking the phone] like a cat on the back of a sofa, mindlessly watching and waiting. The world is not missing a beat around me, but I am not part of that world. Because at some point ... Amy Grant is going to call me.

Every time I come home, I make a beeline to check the messages, tripping over the dog on the way. The poor little thing thinks the routine is a new game: "Yay! It's the Amy Grant phone race again! Woot!" And so she takes off like she's been shot out of a cannon because this is apparently what you do when Amy Grant is going to call you someday in the future. You panic today. And you tangle up your owner's feet.

Surely, Amy Grant's "people" will call to set up a time for the call. Because something tells me Amy Grant wouldn't want to play phone tag with me.

But what if they don't call, and one evening I let my guard down and the phone rings and it's ... Amy Grant.

I just got a knot in my stomach. Because here is part two of the trauma: What to say.

And Jorge is not helpful.

Me: "What in the world do I say to someone whose music has meant more than words can say for so many years?"

Him: You say, "Hey, Ames."

I don't think so.

Or how about when I was at work:

[Ring ]

Me: "Oneighty. This is Linda. May I help you?"

Jorge in a monotone voice: "It's Amy Grant."

Me: "I don't think so."

So you can see that he is thoroughly enjoying watching my anxiety unfold over something that should bring nothing but joy. So maybe you can have compassion on me and tell me what you would say to her. Because ... gulp ... I won a contest, and Amy Grant is going to call me. Unbelievable.


Rachel said...

Just a warning... this will be absolutely no help to you... cuz I am FREAKING OUT that you get to talk to Amy Grant!!! :) Is that not the coolest thing ever!?!

Umm yeah, what do you say? Though somehow I get the feeling that she has been in your spot a couple of times and you are worrying for naught... she seems down-to-earth and most likely you'll be good chums by the end of the call :)

Congratulations - so awesome!

Edie said...

I have no doubt you will do just fine Linda. You always know what to say and you always say it well.

Looking forward to the thrilling conclusion to this suspenseful story. :)

Amy said...

OK I can relate to this anxiety...I had the opportunity to meet Tim McGraw and I was so nervous that I would stumble over myself. My solution was that I came up with sure fire questions to keep the conversation going...not interviewer like questions like "If you were a tree what tree would you be?" But things like "When I listen to such and such song I feel such and such what was the message you were trying to send?" please leave out the such and such part as it might confuse her...and that would only add to your anxiety...hope this helps!!


Mocha with Linda said...

Maybe you should invite her to always drink her coffee with a Lid. At least the 2nd Cup. LOL (I wonder if she likes Mocha....)

I so feel your pain after my comnplete brain freeze of idiocy when I met Jennifer Rothschild.

Ask her if she has a favorite out of all her songs. Or a least favorite. One that totally surprised her that people liked.

Ask her what is the weirdest thing a fan has ever said to her.

Ask her about her most embarrassing moment on stage.

Tell her she has a beautiful voice. And a beautiful smile.

And thank her for singing.

I sang the "Grape Grape Joy in Jesus in the Vineyard of the Lord" song to my girl the other day!

2Thinks said...

Do you remember what I said in one of my first comments to you or maybe it was in the e-mail I sent you...something about how I'm not one to get starstruck...I said if I passed a movie star in the street, I'd be like, "hi, how ya doin'?"

So, you know, just take it up a notch and say, " Hi Amy, wasn't that a tender Tennessee Christmas we had this year?"

Be careful not to step on your dog- might hurt the poor little thing.


Anonymous said...

Ask her what inspired her to write the lyrics of your favorite song. Ask her what type of shampoo she uses because she has awesome hair (wait...don't ask that...kind of sounds like a stalker). Ask her who her favorite author is. I say this, but believe me, I would be sooooo freaked out and speechless. Jorge is brutal!

Lelia Chealey said...

Oh how fun! Let's say...You STILL have thee best hair ever!
You say...thank you for not changing your name to Amy Gill.

You say..thank you for all your awesome music over the many years. Especially the 80's.

You say...I have a friend in Nebraska that was at the state fair concert way back then and Vince did a free outdoor concert before he became a huge country star and she was waiting to get his autograph and she had long Amy Grantish 80's hair and had it pulled back in a pony tail and while he was talking to someone else she pretended to put her head on his shoulder not realizing that her long pony tail flipped onto his chest and made everyone laugh and he was so nice.

I don't know Lidna...say what you want! :)

have fun.
love ya,

Becky said...

LOL, you should seriously video tape your end of the conversation and post it.

Just be your self and write notes on your hand every morning of things to talk about. Make sure you write them AFTER you shower ;-)

beckyjomama said...

You tell her to call BECKY JO! Cause BECKY JO has a TON to say to Amy I-SO-want-to-be-YOU-when-I-grow-up! Grant!!!!


Tha would all probably fall right out of my head at the first sound of her voice!

skoots1mom said...

be nice to Jorge, he may intercept the REAL call.

Are you kidding, she's worried about what she's gonna say to you...ask her if she'd like you to sign a book for her? jes teasin', ha ha

Ask her about her kids--every mama wants to talk about her kids.

just b u and u'll enjoy the conversation...and she will, too, cause you're fun!

Robin @ Be Still and Know said...

We wait with great anticipation for all the details of this impending telephone conversation!!!!!



Susanne said...

LOL. Poor Zoe. I can see it all playing out in my head.

What to say, what to say? I think Amy will pretty much direct the conversation if you get stuck. LOL. Ask her if she has any quirks while she's writing. Like does she have to have certain things around her, certain beverages or foods handy, that kind of thing. Ask how it was to handle fame at such a young age. Tell her how much her music meant to you or ask what inspired your favorite Amy song.

I'm sure you and Amy will be just fine!

Chatty Kelly said...

How about "So how is Vince?"

Maybe you should come up with some talking points. Ask her if she'd like a signed copy of "your" book, and then she could send you a signed copy of her CD or something. Like a trade. :-)

Ask her if she has any connections in the publishing field, or score some free tickets to something.

Just don't mention Gary Chapman. ;-)

Melanie @ This Ain't New York said...

She must be down to earth if she even agrees to call a total stranger who wins a call on a blog. Just be yourself. She'll love that.

Lisa said...

Ha ha, loved your post (& the other comments) and don't have a single suggestion, 'cept be yourself! I can't wait to hear how it goes :)

carol ~ i throw like a girl said...

Congrats, Lid! That's all I have to say. I think your other commenters have offered some good ideas!


Jenny said...

LOL, just be yourself Linda:) That is so exciting.

christy rose said...

She is wonderful! But she is no more wonderful than you! You are equal in the eyes of God. :) I bet that she is thinking some of the same things about you! :)

Pam Warden Art said...

Since I am your friend I am going to give you something to take your mind off the anxiety of the impending phone call. This from the press:
Parasitic flies are being released to turn fire ants into headless zombies. (I'm not making it on...)
FORT WORTH, Texas (AP) - Researchers in Texas are trying a new way to fight fire ants: tiny flies.

The parasitic phorid fly is native to the region of South America where the fire ants originated. As many as 23 species of the fly keep the ants under control there.

The flies lay eggs on the fire ants. When they hatch, the maggots inside the ant eat away at its brain. A researcher at the University of Texas at Austin says that prompts the ant to wander aimlessly while the maggot feeds and eventually turns into a fly. After about a month, the ant's head falls off and the fly emerges to attack another fire ant....
...They can also threaten young calves.

Copyright 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. (Oops-)

Hugs, Pam

Rosina at Middle Ageless said...

Well, I don't know you in person but you are definitely a very articulate, warm, friendly and sociable person - and that would make for a great phone call, whoever it's with! Have fun :)

Mel said...

that has got to be one of the most fun things yet nerve wracking i have read of late....

Amy Grant is going to call you wow...if it was me i might say something completely stupid like can you sing this or that song for me please...

i am with the video taping comment too...or at least record it!! then do a transcript for us.

Cathy said...

I just watched a video of her playing her new song Unafraid and then explaining why she wrote it. It was on It made her seem so real and normal, dealing with aging parents, kids at various stages of life and independence, and her relationship with her husband. I could totally relate to her. If you haven't seen it, you should go watch it. It might give you something to talk about.

Heather of the EO said...

"Take this man to prison...the man heard Herod say...and then four squads of soldiers came and carried him away. Chained up between two watchmen, Peter tried to sleep...."

Start with that. Since those are lyrics from an Amy song I used to sing as a kid :)

And also, I think you should say that you were DESTINED to win because you're a HUGE fan and you think she ROCKS. You know, stalkerish stuff like that.

sheesh. I'm no help! GOOD LUCK :)

Cindy said...

Congratulations on the win and the expected call:)

I'm quite sure that the Lord will give you all the words, peace and thrills you need at the appropriate time:)

Yay for you!!!

Teri~Facedown said...

No chatty advise here, only this one comment.

I am SO glad you won this phone call. Seriously, my heart is so happy for you!

You'll be fine, just be yourself!

Pam from alertandorientedx4 said...

Um...I don't know what I'd say. Wait a minute...yes, I do! She had kids that were involved in Driver's Edge and I did too. So maybe I'd bring that up. Or maybe not. I sat in between Grant Goodeve (hot older brother on 8 is Enough) and Alan Thicke on a flight once. And it was REALLY ugly weather. Grant's wife was crying. And I have Willie Nelson's autograph and George Strait once winked at me and called me "darlin'. " Would it help if you imagined her in her jammies with bedhead? Or would that be like stalking, too? Ask her if she's met Zoe?

marina said...

Linda you well do fine stop worrying and enjoy the tiem you have too talk with her.") maybe you will become bestfriends ")

can't wait about it all!!

Anonymous said...

Linda, she's probably been given your blog address by now since you're the winner. And if that's the case, then I KNOW she's got to be equally excited & puzzled about the upcoming phone call.

You're an amazing and inspiring woman to so many people, just like Amy Grant has been to you and many others. Just be real with her, Linda, because you're going to be a blessing to her. She will be encouraged to hear how the Lord has used her music in your life, and I'm sure that will naturally lead the conversation into places you can't plan.

Don't panic--once you muster up a "hello," the rest is going to be a piece of cake, believe it! : )

Roxanne said...

Remember the day I totally blog stalked you and found your phone number and called you to make sure you knew I wasn't mad at you? And we talked for about 45 minutes? And there were no awkward silences? Do that.

I KNOW I'm not Amy Grant, but still. You are great. You will do great. Maybe you should direct Amy to read some of your blog posts in preparation. AND, from what I know of "Ames," she won't ALLOW you to feel uncomfortable. She will put you right at ease.

Ang baylis said...

Hmmm... What would I say? I'd be freaking out, too! I'd probably accidently tell her she has the wrong number. I'm no help! I'm nervous for you! Whatever you do, don't get off the phone and replay your conversation and have regrets (like I always do)! You are SO cool and I know you'll do just fine! I agree with whoever told you that she's the one who will probably be nervous! I can't wait to hear all about it!
Angie xoxo

PJ said...

You get me laughing over the craziest thing!!! Congrats that you won -- I'm envious!!! You know that you'll have something funny bubble out of your mouth before you even know what's happening. Being you will be enough! Just don't hurt your poor little doggie before that call comes in!!!

Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife said...

You can always bond over hair and shoes.

And I would totally talk about Vince's eyes.

That's all the magic I got. :)

Carol Davis said...

Well...Linda, I have no business posting here...given my aversion to saying really stupid things in front of folks in the limelight.
The latest being...on a Music Cruise and Mark Hall of Casting Crowns was behind me in the ice cream line. I didn't know it at the, when I turned around and was nose to nose with him, I was a bit shocked. And here's what came out of my mouth, "Chocolate." That's what I said..really. He looked at me like I had just escaped from the funny farm. I have never been so embarassed in all my life.
So, I moved, changed my name...and life is good.
Have fun talking to Amy. Just don't say..."Chocolate" and I think you will be alright.

H-Mama said...

I'm really late in posting, but I agree with the others. Be yourself... and tell Jorge your bloggy friends said to be nice! ;)

Susan said...

You need to get on Twitter and follow Amy. She updates pretty regularly and you'll know where she is...:-) AND it'll probably give you stuff to talk about. I suspect, though, that you WILL have plenty to say. I think she's amazing and can honestly say she's influenced me so much through her music and her stories.

I can't wait for "part 2" of this...

honeypiehorse said...

I'm sorry no one has stolen your writing, I'm sure they will. Say hi to Amy for me!

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

OK. I just wrote this fantastic, witty comment using about 10 of Amy Grant's song and when I hit publish, there was an error and my comment was deleted. Just know it was awesome and I could never replicate it.

Smelling Coffee said...

Can't wait to hear all about this... maybe she will carry the conversation... maybe she reads (or at least will check out) your blog and she'll know you're a tad bit nervous... Congrats on winning!!!

Kim @ What's That Smell? said...

Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!! What I would do if the phone rang and Amy Grant was on the other end. DIE! I'd DIE!

I'm jealous.

Green with envy.

Give her my number...LOL

2Thinks said...

When on earth is Amy Grant actually going to call you???

Just been wonderin'