Friday, May 21, 2010

Flashback Friday, Hot Flashes and Other Flashes You Don't Want to Miss. Or Maybe You Do.

Here's Linda's prompt this week:

Tell about your senior year in high school. Were there any special traditions such as getting a senior ring? Were there lots of activities and parties as you neared graduation? Were you in any extra-curricular activities that had traditional "rites of passage" or "passing the baton" too the next class? Were awards given out - either serious or fun? Did you send out graduation announcements? Did your school have a Baccalaureate Service in addition to the graduation ceremony? If you attended church, did your church recognize/honor Seniors in any way? Did you keep your tassel - did you hang it from the mirror of your car or do something else special with it? What sorts of things did you get for graduation gifts? Was it a tradition to display the gifts in your home?

First of all, let me say there's nothing like having a menopausal hot flash exactly at the moment you're posting a Flashback Friday entry. Go, me! Awesome!

So if I'm a bit cranky today, that is why.

I was also cranky my entire senior year because after having been a cheerleader throughout school, I was inexplicably cut in that year's tryouts.

So even though I knew I was going to college to become a high school English teacher, I joined a business group called DECA that allowed me to leave at noon every single day and work at the mall in a store called Stuarts.

Which, may I add here in a sentence fragment, allowed me to purchase lots of clothes, which will be relevant in a moment. Thus, I did not take senior Shakespeare, which upon entering college soon did biteth me in the "Bottom," who we all know was actually a Shakespearean character transformed into an "ass." Yes, if the moniker fits, etc.

Did I mention I was also grieving the loss of a previous boyfriend I dearly loved who had gone off to college and had already himself transformed into that same character?

So I sulked my entire senior year and dated a boy who was not good for my moral development. (Not Jorge.)

Where was I?

Back to fashion. So because I worked in a cool clothing store, I had nice clothes and was voted "Best Dressed Girl" and "Cutest Blonde" in our senior elections. I ended up marrying the guy voted "Best Male Body," although he HATES for me to tell people. So I mention it whenever I can.

Here are the ancient, dilapidated school newspaper results of the elections. Yes, that is the Jorge. Jorge the Jabanero. No, he is not Hispanic. That was his name in Spanish class.

And then I graduated. My parents tried to take a couple of pictures, but we were mostly unsuccessful with cameras back in the day, producing snapshots eerily close to the quality of the ones I keep producing of my kid running on the cross country team. It's a genetic gift. So I don't have any good ones at my disposal.

One highlight of the ceremony itself was that I spoke at commencement. From the stage, I noticed my manager at Stuarts in the audience making strange hand motions, sort of like the ones to the song "Deep and Wide." In a moment of humiliating clarity, I finally understood she was signaling: "CLOSE YOUR LEGS." Yes, apparently my gown did not cover my lower extremities very well. As a result, I flashed the audience for the longest few minutes of my life.

True. Story.

We had open houses back then, something similar to a gift-giving shower for graduates, including cake and mints, etc. Nowadays, these events have escalated to epic proportions resembling lavish MGM productions here in the Midwest. You would not believe the amount of planning and money spent on these, complete with "shrines" depicting the stages of graduates' lives from infancy to 18. Yes, I have produced two of these open houses myself for Katie and Jordan. Two down, one to go next year.

Don't know where the tassel is now. It was not my best moment, not my best year, but there you have it, and I would not go back and re-live it for anything, including trading off menopausal hot flashes.

At least if I "flash" people now, I'm fully cognizant before the flashing. I just don't care. Ah, the beauty of aging.


Mary said...

OH, that's hysterical!
I missed out on Senior English as well: I took it in summer school so I wouldn't have to spend the whole year with the teacher, who was AWFUL! My mom learned after 7 siblings that had that teacher, and let me go that summer! Somehow I think I still would've missed out on Shakespeare!


OHHHHHH....I loved this post. It reminded me that Most of us had those kinds of Senior Years. I don't even like to remember mine...and in the nearly 40 years I have been out of school have only been to one class reunion. I worked at Burdines back store..high the shoe dept. Had the best shoes many before they even hit the shelves. Could be where my obsession with the things came in.

Mocha with Linda said...

Oh you never fail to make me laugh! Jorge was a stud, as we used to say back then!

I probably would have hated you back then, being the cheerleader/fashionista that you were. With age DOES come wisdom!

Stay cool!

Susanne said...

Oh you crack me up. I need to tell you about my devastating senior year and then have you retell it to me so that I can get a funny perspective on it.

The "deep and wide" signing almost made me snort coffee through my nose. I really have to not take sips of coffee until I'm done reading your whole posts!

Anonymous said...

Did they not require you to wear something under your graduation gown? We had rules about what to wear underneath, which never made sense to me since it was going to be covered up.

I'm sorry it wasn't the best year for you. Maybe that made HS a little easier to leave behind. I was more than ready to move on, but some people these days all of a sudden realize everything is going to change and get very sad at HS coming to an end.

Cathy said...

I'm glad my senior year wasn't that traumatic.

SouthLakesMom said...

The only really good thing about my senior year was that it meant I was getting out of El Paso, Texas . . .

We don't do open houses or shrines or that stuff. But I'm a stick in the mud totally opposed to 6th grade and 8th grade graduations . . . Have a great weekend!

rita said...

You never fail to make me smile!
Were you so talented back in your cranky senior year, Miss Batt?
You conquered the best looking George! (So his name isn't really 'Jorge', I'm disappointed.)

Susan said...

My senior year wasn't all that great either, although I didn't flash anyone at my graduation! ;) This was a fun read!

Quilly said...

You had me laughing out loud as I read this. I thought the boys flashing their socks at our graduation was a big deal. My mistake.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Fabulous and Funny post....Love it..
I have had so little time to catch up on my favorite blogs. Hope you will stop by...I have a great Disney giveaway...

Anonymous said...

Too funny! You seem to have a great sense of humor!

Love your blog name too!