Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Let the Randomization Begin!

Question: What do Connie, Melanie, Susan, Tammy, Kelli (in a brand new springtime dress, I might add), Deven, Susanne and Clemntine have in common?

Is it:

1. They all burn up the telephone lines each week voting for Sanjaya?
2. Suspiciously, they all have two or three vowels in their names?
3. They actually regularly read someone's blog who swallowed her contact lenses while watching American Idol?
4. They are so hard-up for blogging material or are so bored that they have actually volunteered to be randomized by my questions?

Answer: All of the above. (Do not deny it, girls. You know it's true. I personally counted all the vowels.)

Now, the way this process is supposed to work, acccording to Deena, is that they're each supposed to get five random questions a piece from me. But that would be 40 different questions, which is twice the normal game of 20 questions, which is just asking entirely too much of me, which I choose to see as my adoring public is squeezing me dry because they love me. And not just that they're way understimulated in life.

Therefore, I am posing these questions to each of them, which will be fun for the rest of us to read. (Why am I feeling REALLY powerful at this point?)

Here you go, girls:

1. What is one thing you'd like to do but do not have the courage to do? And why don't you do it? What's the worst that could happen, anyway??

2. Describe your worst date. Did your poor fellow know it was your worst date? What did you learn about yourself from this experience?

3. You are at a nationally televised Presidential White House press conference as part of the press corps. President Bush calls on you because you are waving your hand around like a wild woman. You stand, but suddenly, your heart races, your mouth dries, and you're seeing stars. You can't remember your brilliant question or utter a single syllable. The only thing you are able to do is sing. Remaining silent is not an option. What will you sing and why?

4. If you were named "Supreme Blogging Commander of the Official World Wide Webbings of Intranets" or some such other prestigious title, what is the first rule you would lay down as non-negotiable?

5. What's your favorite color? NOT!!! Instead: You are hiring someone for a position in your company. Nevermind which position. It's just your job to hire the best candidate and then tell your superior why you chose that person. If you choose unwisely, you get fired. The pressure is on. Which one will you choose?

A. Candidate A brought her Ipod and said she could listen to you and the music at the same time.

B. Candidate B challenged you to an arm wrestling match.

C. Candidate C threw up on your desk and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.

D. Candidate D stated that if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having your corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.

So which one is it? Why? By the way, these are all true scenarios, as recorded at Strange But True Really Funny Job Interview Beahvior. OK girls, I'll be checking in on you to see what you've revealed about your intelligence, social skills, spirituality, geographical expertise, compassion for the human condition, physical fitness and resemblance to any celebrities. Have fun.


Susanne said...

Oh, maaaaan! I knew you would give us whoppers. What was I thinking? Well, I'm definitely watching AI first so my brain is not cafuffled while trying to answer these 'cause they will require my undivided attention. In fact, I'll probably have to banish all from the room, put the dog out, swat the buzzing fly and turn the phone off. Cancel all subscriptions, turn email off and hang out the do not ring the doorbell sign. 8v}

Connie Barris said...

Holy Ma Joly.....

I'll sleep on this one....

back at ya in the morning....

I may take your coffee away from you...

Nothin but love for ya

Melanie said...

Done! ;>)

Anonymous said...

Yep, I'm thinkin' these are caffeine induced!! You definitely get the "Question Generator" prize!! Mine's up.

:-) Susan

Connie Barris said...

ok... they are done.....


Clemntine said...

Done and done.