Sunday, April 08, 2007

Sunday Morning

Looky, looky what the Easter Bunny's got. Forget jelly beans; gimme java beans! The pic in the sidebar shows the mug I made at the pottery place. It says, "Coffee Fast 07, never, ever, ever again!" and "Give Thanks!" on the inside of the lip. It may be the ugliest piece of pottery on earth, but it was beautiful this morning as it held my long-awaited, smooth, full-bodied coffee. No more grass-water green tea! Yay!

You've heard me talk about my ever-decreasing epicurean skilz ... I was telling Susanne last night that I was planning to cook a 14 lb ham for my family of five. She responded something like, "Oh, my. You folks really like your ham, don't you [oink oink]?" Then I realized that 14 was the price, not the weight. But that little exchange made me nervous about the actual size of my ham versus the actual size of my crock pot.

I had good reason to worry. Sunday morning, my husband, the genius math major, used one of his fancy-schmancy "modus operandi" to calculate the height of the ham versus the height of the pot (a metal tape measure). We decided to split the ham in two and use two crockpots. One pot got the can of root beer poured over it because the kids drank all but one can (!); the other got the brown sugar-pineapple rub. I turned on the twin hamlets and went to church.

Back home, I lifted the lids to see essence of ham rather than actual meat on a bone. At the table, the kids looked askew at their ham remnants (hamnants). I rationalized, "Moms do so much for their kids, you know? Things their kids never realize or fully appreciate, like filling the kid's gas tank at night so she doesn't have to rush out into the cold, dark morning before school to fill the tank. Or adding a little extra Downy to bedsheets for nighty-night softness. Or, in this case, pre-digesting your ham for you so that your bowels can rest through one meal. Think of these hamnants as similar to when the momma penguin regurgitates the baby's penguin's food for him. It's all about sacrifice. That's just the way a mom's love works. Happy Easter."

12 comments:

Connie Barris said...

I thought about you this morning and wondered if you were in a world of ecstasy as you enjoyed your first cup of coffee...
Proud of your accomplishment.. what a sacrifice...
We are having a ham... but we only had a orange fanta left and brown sugar... go figure... let's see how it turns out...
enjoy your day...and your 5th pot of coffee.... java...java..javvvaaaaaaa...peel me off the wallllllll
Blessings
Connie

Deena said...

Good reasoning! I see the coffee is helping already:-)

Happy Easter! Loved the bunny suit...

Southern Girl said...

Glad you have your coffee back! Too bad about the shrunken ham, but look at all the sodium you saved your family from eating. ;)

Happy Easter!

Melanie said...

And in some cultures we would actually chew the ham for our young and spit it in their mouths.
Ahhh, a Hallmark moment.

Susan said...

I'm so very glad that your coffee fast came to a positive end. The ham story cracked me up! I love ham in the crock pot...what happened????

Have a GREAT week and Happy Easter!!

:-) Susan

Susanne said...

Did I really say "oink, oink"? Na, must have been something else you were hearing! :vD

I am ROFL at your little Mother's love speech! Pre-digested is just another way to say super-extra-tender, right?

Roxanne said...

I have just never, ever heard of pouring root beer on ham.

Coke on brisket. . .but no root beer.

This must be a Hoosier oddity.

I cooked an 11 pound ham that went a little somethin' like this. Put it in a roaster, cover with foil tent open on ends, pop it in the oven at 325, feed kids, iron clothes, go to church, come home from church, check ham, peel 5 lbs. of potatoes, and wash, and dice, THEN remove ham from oven and let it 'REST' while everything else got put in bowls.

I have cooked an 11 pound ham for our family of 4 and the kids don't eat much. So you could say we love our ham too.

I am so glad that you got your coffee, and I LOVED your mug.

The Preacher's Wife said...

Oh I am laughing my head off...This reminds me of my Thanksgiving turkey that came out as with the spine and nothing else...It looked like something from CSI...

Your stories absolutely make my day! I can't wait to tell hubs I'm not the only one whose best intentions come to naught! :))

Morning Glory said...

It seems to be the day for posting cooking adventures. My dinner was done at 4:30 in the morning on Sunday. Not a good time for Sunday dinner.

Jen said...

Love the photo :)
and I love cooking with my crock pot too.
Did you give up coffee for the 40 days of lent?
i gave up sugar and I can tell you coffee isnt the same without a tsp of sugar in it :)

Tammy said...

This picture is too funny. You look like one happy caffeinated bunny! LOL

JennaG said...

Your bunny picture cracked me up! So glad you have your coffee back! I know it had to have been hard to abstain from! The ham sounds delicious--what a wonderful invention that crock pot was!