Looky, looky what the Easter Bunny's got. Forget jelly beans; gimme java beans! The pic in the sidebar shows the mug I made at the pottery place. It says, "Coffee Fast 07, never, ever, ever again!" and "Give Thanks!" on the inside of the lip. It may be the ugliest piece of pottery on earth, but it was beautiful this morning as it held my long-awaited, smooth, full-bodied coffee. No more grass-water green tea! Yay!
You've heard me talk about my ever-decreasing epicurean skilz ... I was telling Susanne last night that I was planning to cook a 14 lb ham for my family of five. She responded something like, "Oh, my. You folks really like your ham, don't you [oink oink]?" Then I realized that 14 was the price, not the weight. But that little exchange made me nervous about the actual size of my ham versus the actual size of my crock pot.
I had good reason to worry. Sunday morning, my husband, the genius math major, used one of his fancy-schmancy "modus operandi" to calculate the height of the ham versus the height of the pot (a metal tape measure). We decided to split the ham in two and use two crockpots. One pot got the can of root beer poured over it because the kids drank all but one can (!); the other got the brown sugar-pineapple rub. I turned on the twin hamlets and went to church.
Back home, I lifted the lids to see essence of ham rather than actual meat on a bone. At the table, the kids looked askew at their ham remnants (hamnants). I rationalized, "Moms do so much for their kids, you know? Things their kids never realize or fully appreciate, like filling the kid's gas tank at night so she doesn't have to rush out into the cold, dark morning before school to fill the tank. Or adding a little extra Downy to bedsheets for nighty-night softness. Or, in this case, pre-digesting your ham for you so that your bowels can rest through one meal. Think of these hamnants as similar to when the momma penguin regurgitates the baby's penguin's food for him. It's all about sacrifice. That's just the way a mom's love works. Happy Easter."